If I was psychic in a way that was actually useful for once I would know how many more years the roof would hold up before it actually began leaking water down into the house. If it were to take another 10 years then we wouldn’t need to do it at all. Instead, I get to have a series of worthless dream premonitions and the mood-influencing thing I’m not even going to get into.

Because I felt so crappy I didn’t finish writing about the day I talked to the workers. I still don’t know what’s going on and when because the Twenties haven’t replied to my message. I saw Jon talking to Ray and as always Ray turned away as if to avoid me. He later looked right at me and although I couldn’t see his eyes behind his sunglasses, his mouth was set in a firm tight line of both hate and anger. I still don’t know what his problem with me is and I don’t give a fuck but I really wish just the same that his house would hurry up and sell and that he would get the fuck out of here. It’s really too bad he didn’t have the balls to tell me to my face what his problem with me is instead of going to the Twenties about it instead. I fucking hate gossipers! Oh, the Twenties never said anything, of course. He gave himself away when he explained to Jon instead of me that he accidentally sent me the messenger invite and his little thumbs-up emoji.

I will be the one avoiding him as much as possible until he’s out of here so he doesn’t go saying the wrong thing and cause me to lose my temper. If you’re that rude to me, I don’t care how damn old you are. But of course, if I were provoked, even though we live in a time where we’re responsible for everyone’s behavior but our own, I’m the one who would take the fall.

Back to the main point; I talked to one of the workers who had a map with different colors for different roads and he said something about seeing if they could do it in the first place. Oh, I’m sure they can. If I can hear it, they can do it. The project is going to take months but he said they would only be working close to the house for a day. Yeah, I’ll believe it when I see it. I’m sure I’ll be tortured for a week or so. And then a week to 10 days later there will be something else. Some kind of home improvement or something the utility company or park will do.

Anyway, instead of working out outdoors yesterday, I stuck to the treadmill. The weather may have had a hand in how tired I felt. Cloudy, wet weather can make me feel sluggish, though it didn’t rain until the evening.

Today they picked up the bulk trash as they do every few months.

I may drop CampNano as I’m simply out of ideas for the story I’m working on.

I have a little more energy today but started off a bit shaky. Today my blood pressure is 155/84 if I can believe the reading. Only went out walking for five minutes and in that five-minute walk, I saw two or three houses for sale. Again, I’ve never lived where so many houses are sold so often around me.

Aly was in the hospital as I suspected when I didn’t hear from her yesterday with an eczema flare-up. The doctor thinks she may even be low on thyroid. I’m honestly not surprised at all. She’s been exhibiting symptoms of that and it seems those cursed with AI’s don’t get just one. I said I know I’ve told her some pretty scary stories about Levothyroxine but don’t let it scare her because most people don’t have problems. She said she isn’t worried because she knows three others on it who have never had a problem.

Yeah, if anyone has to have a problem with meds it’s me. That’s why I am afraid to go on BP meds, but if it’s responsible for some of the lightheadedness, worsening vision, and fatigue like I read it may be, I may not have much choice. The worse I feel, the more I might be tempted to try meds. The neck knockers alone are annoying and a bit scary. I’m not going to decide until Doc A’s nurse tells me what my numbers are because I can’t believe they would happen to be normal there if I’m really having regular problems like I seem to be. Sometimes I feel almost weak and my head vibrates, too.

Beginning on the week of the 23rd, which will put me six weeks away from labs, I’ll skip two doses a week instead of three and see how I do.

I just wish I could stop worrying about things so much! It seems I spend more time worrying than anything else and that does a number on my body and mind, especially my mind. I don’t want to suffer until I’m actually dying but I seem to do an awful lot of that these last few years. If only I could know how much more suffering I have to do in my life, what dying will be like, and what the afterlife is like if there is one, as that may take a whole lot of stress off me… Or not. I hate not knowing what I’m in for during the rest of my life and then possibly afterward, but again, I’m just not psychic in a useful way.

I have thousands of pictures on my computer, most of which I’ve collected over the years around the net, and think I might get rid of most of them, particularly the ones I can’t use as avatars or backgrounds. I still sometimes like to decorate blogs with them and I use them on Bubbly, too. I’ll also keep some for wallpaper. After storing them on Amazon Prime, I’ll delete some picture files. Or maybe I’ll use them to decorate Tom’s emails and on Skype before I delete them.

I almost wish voice blogging was the norm because it’s definitely easier to talk than to write but then that’s harder to search and edit. I still think it will become the norm at some point.

Not remembering much in the way of dreams. Something about watching a music video and thinking that the guy singing looked like he was wearing a wig.

Then I was being “punished” for some reason (the black freeloaders) by being made to stand in something that looked as small as a phone booth. I got fed up at one point when I realized I had no incentive to behave and cooperate since they weren’t giving me time off for good behavior or anything.