The “Pepto-Bismol” hall is definitely coming to the end of its life, however. Yes, the murals are here waiting to be installed during our June vacation (and I better fucking feel great). So one elephant and one forest will wait patiently in a large tube that is out of the rats’ reach and very sharp teeth.

Slept surprisingly well for one who had a bit of a rough night. Finally started feeling better, then about an hour after I took my pill the beatdown was on. Heart was beating a little too hard for comfort. Not racing, just beating hard. Also, the pulse could be felt again on the left side of my neck and I knew my BP was up. I even had a dime-size ache in that area for a while, thanks to the pounding and pressure. Yeah, the silent killer isn’t always so silent, but you know what? I’ve had ENOUGH! My doctor’s going to have to switch my medication or cut me back. At least till I can eliminate perimenopause from the picture. I can’t keep dealing with this shit year after year, with the HR/anxiety, and I WON’T.

The elevated BP was probably my fault, though. When the “neck knockers” back off and I’m feeling better, I tend to slack off and not be as health-conscious when it comes to what foods I eat. The Chinese food I recently splurged on was no doubt loaded with sodium, so I’m making a point of backing off that again.

I need to watch the cholesterol too, even though I could use the calming tryptophan in it. Raw peanuts that don’t have added salt are a good way to get protein without sodium or cholesterol. I got a bag and roasted the peanuts for 20 minutes and they’re great. I have a few here and there throughout the day.

Might as well return to taking my meds at the beginning of my day since taking them at the end of the day wasn’t helping with side effects and is also more of a pain in the ass that way. The only negative to the beginning of the day is that I have to wait for a half-hour for coffee. Just a minor nuisance. So I’m not taking it tonight. I’ll take the poison when I get up.

Didn’t wake up feeling as warm today, though that could be because it was a bit cooler. I don’t think it’s that I’m not used to the heat anymore because Oregon winters were brutal compared to the winters here with much colder temps that lasted longer, yet the summers were so wonderful and such a relief when I could finally warm up. I think I’m just an aging fatty with some pretty messed up hormones. They were definitely worse before last year, though. Could still be one of the side effects listed on my meds, too. Again, I hate not knowing what’s what for sure. If I could have a better idea of the culprits, then I might have a better idea of tackling the problem, but so far today I’m just lightheaded.

We put oil in the bad ear and alcohol and peroxide in the good ear. Since I’ve been lightheaded anyway, I was thinking of taking a break from the Amberen and seeing how I do.

The more I think about it, the more I doubt the cemetery is cursing me. We were pretty close to a cemetery up in Oregon as well and my only health issues there were some TMJ pain and an occasional toothache. Our lives were pretty good there. Just very, very cold. Besides, I really don’t think the dead can influence the living no matter how much some people may wish they could. If they could, then our loved ones would make sure that nothing bad ever happened to us and maybe even that we won the lottery. So if there is an afterlife out there, which I still doubt, I think it’s in a whole ‘nother dimension and that the two worlds simply can’t cross or connect in any way. Furthermore, why would any spirits of the dead that rest nearby pick on only some of us and not all of us? Because it doesn’t like short people? Green-eyed brunettes?

I totally love my new haircut, especially having bangs again. It’s not only so much easier to put up but it’s already “training down.” As she advised me, I brushed the bangs to one side and then to the other after my next shampoo because the hair had gotten used to being parted in the middle for so long. It’s looking good even though it may be a bit of a pain in the ass to keep up on. Looks way thicker in that area, too.

Bought a tube of Miracle Potion by It’s a 10 and it’s a great product that really smoothes the hair. That is until I fry it again with the next dye job.

It’s that time of year when it turns into a creep-fest in here. A big fat spider was running across the living room at breakneck speed last night. Definitely gotta bomb next weekend. Will do it early in the morning so it won’t get too hot for the rats in the storeroom. Can’t believe they’re a week away from 2 years old and not showing any signs of checking out of Hotel Earth anytime soon! They look old and they do sleep a little more and are a little less active, but they have no tumors and they don’t appear to be arthritic in any way. Burkey sure is fat though, LOL.

Went out for a quick walk earlier and the weather was gorgeous. This was in the early evening right after the direct sunlight faded but there was still plenty of light. Remember how I said in a recent entry that we should be grateful for what we do have and focus on the positive instead of what we’ve lost and what can’t be changed? Well, I am so damn grateful I don’t live near a particular house on Tandy where they left their mutt leashed to their little white picket fence with absolutely no one around in sight to watch it! Not only are you not supposed to do that here, but that is so typical of the West. The thing was yapping its ass off. I would be complaining for damn sure and I wouldn’t care how sensitive they may be or what kind of connections they may have either.

Another house further down on Astro got fake grass put in and that’s another “we should have” when it comes to this place. We should have replaced the windows. We should have laminated the floors. We should have ripped out all the crap we’ve got growing here and thrown fake grass down. Looks beautiful year-round, never needs watering or mowing, and no weeds can grow there. At least this grass didn’t have those stupid stripes that the fake grass Jesse laid down around the trailer had. That came from a football field. Oh well. Maybe we’ll get it right in the next place.

I haven’t been remembering my dreams as much lately. Even though many of my dreams can be negative it’s kind of too bad because that’s where I get most of my info as far as knowing the unknown is concerned.

The only thing I remember for dreams is either hanging out or living in a trailer similar to the one we rented before moving here. Only this one was resting on a plastic base of sorts and I was worried that it was gonna crack and cause the trailer to tip over.

Then I ran into a couple of girls in a store that I knew had been in jail and asked them what they were doing out of jail so soon right as a good-looking cashier paid the $.15 I was short.

Off to work on my story and hope I remain calm tonight! Looking good so far. :)