At the end of my day yesterday I was so damn cold that I ended up taking my medication a couple of hours after I ate for the last time. I took my temperature and it was 96.8. Took it when I got up and it said I was 97.0, so I’m warming up a bit. Makes me wonder if I would literally freeze to death if I went over a week without taking this med.

I’m virtually positive that the statins didn’t have a hand in this round of anxiety but I’m still yes and no on the other stuff. I just don’t know what to think anymore. It makes sense that it would have a hand in it but then it doesn’t because of how erratic it is. And why always during the second part of my day? That isn’t a hard rule but it seems to be more common than not. I have been slightly on edge since being up and I wonder if it’s because I’m worried I’ll end up really anxious later because I took my med or because of the med itself. Whether or not I take it when I get up depends on how the rest of the day goes.

Realizing this isn’t going away on its own or at least not anytime soon, I finally messaged Doc A again and asked if she could recommend something OTC.

We went through the kitchen junk drawers and talked about how we could get out of here sooner if we started off in a “tooth park” with dumpier homes set close together which I hate, but noise is not only something I’m used to but the least of my concerns right now. Really, I wouldn’t know a quiet place if you put me in one. I went out before midnight to dump the recyclables and it was roaring out there between the freeway and a helicopter. No, I don’t like it but that’s all I pretty much know. And I know that it’s like this pretty much everywhere that doesn’t snow or get overly cold. It’s just the way today’s world is. I’m not going to go freeze my ass off somewhere just because people can’t shut up. But if we take a cheaper place, quiet or not, we could get out of here faster because we wouldn’t need to get as much for this place.

Having trouble picking up the drills for the mandala painting I’m doing now, so I’m applying them with tweezers. A painting with a girl’s face on it will be delivered tomorrow. It will be interesting to see how a person looks. This one isn’t bright and colorful like the other ones I’ve done. She has light eyes, black hair, red flowers in her hair, a red snake wrapped around her arm, and a dark background.

Last night I dreamed we moved although I’m not sure where it was. We decided we would let his family know where we were and ended up at some kind of event being hosted at David and Evie’s house. There were dozens of people when we got there, and Tom and I walked into one room in particular. Then Evie entered the room. She looked different and was actually quite slim, but I knew who she was right away. She had short curly hair dyed light brown. In real life, she was fat and had straight red hair.

I said hello and she ignored me, holding a serious expression on her face as she strode across the room with purpose in her stride. I said hello again, and again she ignored me. Feigning confusion, I asked if everything was okay. She finally said something about having to take care of something at the moment, but I knew deep down she resented us no doubt due to what other family members had said and because of our long absence.

Tom and I ended up separated and I was sitting at a round table with about half a dozen other people. I realized the pale pink spaghetti strap top I had on was too big and sagging in front. Then I was pissed at myself for not wearing a bra and a bit embarrassed to think of that and how I was wearing the same exact top the last time, not that anyone should have remembered that far back.

Deciding not to care about my shirt and lack of bra, I rose from my seat and wandered into a larger room in which about half a dozen people were playing different instruments. I scanned the room looking for Tom and found him on the other side of it.

When I approached him, I said that we weren’t going to be leaving for three or four more hours and I was afraid I would end up really tired since I’d been up since very early that morning. But then I reminded myself that people do party after getting up early.

Then I was sitting at a long table by myself eating the plate of food sitting before me (did someone bring it to me or did it just magically appear?) as the band played on. I was glad there were extra forks so I didn’t have to hunt for one but then I noticed there were trays of silverware set up nearby.