Yesterday went from good to bad to good. I’ve only been up a little over four hours and so far, so good today but I don’t know what I could be in for a few hours from now. I just don’t understand why I’m having such an anxious spell lately! Many reports I’ve read suggest this won’t last into old age along with the fact that this is the most common age group for anxiety as the hormones and brain chemistry change. Kim says she’s been getting it for the last year which would put her around 50. Mine started at 48. I try to tell myself that nothing lasts forever and I think of the things I had to deal with for years that eventually fizzled out but knowing there are no guarantees makes it hard. Maybe this really is the older side of me. The new me since 2014 that will be a part of my life for as long as I live. That could mean suffering on and off for as much as 30 years by the time I die. Logically it doesn’t seem likely but I just don’t want to get my hopes up either.

I took my levothyroxine today but yesterday I skipped the statin just in case there’s something about this brand that triggered it. I’ll take it towards the end of the day and see how I do. The only thing that doesn’t make sense about it being the statin is why it would wait until a few hours or more into the next day to get me. I’m still guessing the original poison just built up a bit too much in my system. Or maybe it was an age thing. I guess I’ll never know for sure. They also say that just having low thyroid can make you anxious but it had to have been low for years before I was diagnosed yet I didn’t have this then. So the best thing it could be would be related to going into menopause because eventually, things will change. The worst thing is the medication because I’m always going to need it. That much will never change.

Tom went to Rite Aid yesterday to pick up his blood pressure medicine and might have been around a “carnivore.” He didn’t get within six feet of them but he heard them ask if they did COVID-19 testing there. Well, why would you ask that if you didn’t think you had the virus? He washed his hands immediately after he got home. I never had a feeling about us getting it and getting seriously ill much less killed by it.

I had a series of dreams last night but I don’t remember enough about them other than to say we were flying somewhere in one of them. I don’t know where we were going. So that’s flying dream number two that I know of even though it’s too soon to say that we will fly for sure or that we won’t.

Due to where my schedule is at, we decided the second week of March is going to be when we reach out to a realtor. At the end of this month, we will rehome the pigs. I was a little annoyed with Tom because we were supposed to do that now but he’s really fallen in love with them and wants to keep them for a couple more weeks. A part of me will miss them as well but for the most part, they’re just smelly eating machines that are a lot of work and money. I’m going to feel worse for Tom than for myself.

His back is still horrible but slowly improving. He did some paint touch-ups in the kitchen while I slept and it looks great. He says we still have plenty of yellow paint and it’s still in good condition.