I had mild anxiety yesterday. If I have to have this shit at all, I miss being able to go for at least a week or more! But now I can’t even make it more than a couple of days. No anxiety today, though. Maybe he was right in saying yesterday’s anxiety was due to today’s appointment.

Went for a quick walk yesterday but it was too chilly. It was today as well but mostly because it was breezy.

I really, really need to learn to put up with being hungry and throw myself on a diet. No, I don’t give a shit how I look but it would really help my blood pressure and cholesterol, not to mention make yoga and other things easier. So I was thinking about trying the two large meals a day thing again. Yes, I’ll be hungry during the long 8-10-hour haul between meals but I’m afraid that if I don’t do something I’m just going to make a slow steady gain all my life.

Aly decided to surprise me by clicking on my blog link, insisting that since most sites see her IP anyway, she’s not worried about me seeing it on my tracker.

Andy and I are still keeping in touch but we share jokes and pics more than we share words.

We ordered a flower-planting kit for kids that oughta be fun. It comes in an oblong metal tray that you can paint pretty designs on or whatever you want. It comes with the paint, of course. The flowers are morning glories, cosmos, and zinnias.

Also got another diamond painting on the way. It’s a partial drill of a dreamcatcher on a black background. It’s going to look gorgeous when it’s done. Like a real dreamcatcher glued to black canvas. Still have a way to go with the full drill of the dark-haired girl with red flowers but I’m getting there.

Good thing I didn’t cancel my dentist appointment after all because I’m going to make it to this appointment easily that’s in a little while. Just wish I wasn’t tired. I’m not nearly as tired as I was when I saw my ENT but I didn’t sleep very well either. I just hope I don’t have any cavities!

I dreamed that we needed to rent a place for a month here in Cali so we ended up renting this beautiful apartment several floors up in a high-rise for $1,075 a month, not that you could even find a dumpy studio here for that much.

It was a beautiful two-bedroom and amazingly quiet. I expected to hear bumps and bangs from the surrounding apartments, the thumping of bass from someone’s stereo, or voices from a TV, yet I heard nothing.

The place had plush carpet and actually belonged to a somewhat well-known actress who was subleasing it for the month. I liked how the second bedroom had blackout curtains even though there were holes in them, and decided I would sleep in there.

I was amazed by how large the place was and by all the tables, cabinets, and shelves there were, although the sink was weird. It was almost too high for me to reach and the sink itself resembled a wooden tray than anything else. Tom had to help me do the dishes.

There was a door in the middle of the place and when you opened it, you found another door that was some kind of fire escape.

The master bedroom was huge and had many large windows along the exterior wall but I knew it would be tough to sleep in there because there were no window coverings.

I thought of how I would have loved to live there back in the days when I had my own apartment and how I would sleep in the small bedroom and use the large bedroom as a computer and crafts room, not that computers were a regular thing back then.

I looked at a cabinet with glass doors which were mostly empty and could easily visualize my figurines and it. Running along the base of large built-in shelves, I could imagine my collector’s dolls lined up along it.

In reality, I wish I could believe we’d end up in a place we both absolutely love and that we’d never want to move again but I’m not stupid. At my age, I’ve learned what’s in my cards and what’s not. It’ll be a dumpy little place with no real space or privacy around it, no interesting view, and will still be noisy even if it may not be as bad as this place. There won’t be anything cozy or inviting about it.

OMG, last night the loudest helicopter I’ve ever heard sailed over this place and I was so glad I was still awake because it would have woken me up even with Alexa blasting nature sounds as she was. I first thought it was a motorcycle, that’s how loud it was. Long after it had passed over the house, I could still feel the house vibrating.

I put a hold on this entry for a few hours because I ran out of time before my appointment. The appointment went well even though we had to pay $217. No cavities! A very chatty woman cleaned me up nicely and I hope to be out of here by the time my September appointment rolls around.

I’m starting to wonder about that even more because we now have a tough dilemma ahead of us. There’s a good chance he may be able to get a huge paying job and I mean huge. Not quite 6 figures but it would be a ton of money. Had a feeling this would happen too. We’re making more now than he was working but this would be even more than what we’re getting now. The problem is that it’s a 5-month contract without any guarantee of being permanent. Even in just 5 months, the extra money would help but leaving in the winter would be a shitty time to leave because the vacation rentals would be much more expensive. It’s just not the time of year we want to get there. We want to get there in the dead of summer so we can know sooner rather than later as to whether or not one or both of us find we can’t handle the climate well.

If he were to be hired on and worked until he was full retirement age, that would be a ton of money and would definitely open up our options as to where we could go but neither of us wants to be here for that much longer, not to mention the fact that it would bother us to have ended up rehoming the pigs for nothing.

He’s a very heavy sleeper so he’s not nearly as noise-sensitive as I am even when he sleeps during the daytime as he sometimes does. But for me, sleeping so close to traffic for another few years does not sit well with me at all.

Again, there would be no guarantees it would be for more than 5 months and they may not want to hire someone his age.