I may soon be interrupted by a call from Andy. I’ll write as much as I can till he calls. The last few days have been really screwy. It started off as a major horror but ended up nicely and a little strange. I did get a hold of Tracy, first of all. She told me she’s going to call Carol and speak to her about my tapes and then call me back.

To briefly mention Sally and Jill, well, I don’t know too much and I don’t know if I really want to. All I know is that they’re both 20 and they’re psychology majors at U-Mass in Amherst. They live on campus and Jill has a car. Sally doesn’t. They seem to get along well as roommates and seem to be very nice. According to Jill, she’s 5‘1”, thin and has been with someone for two months.

Later...

Andy called, so I’m gonna finish where I left off. Sally’s 5’ 9”, 130 pounds and single. Of course, they both have short hair and neither one seems butchy, but I know they’re not totally feminine either. I know that I have been attracted to some women who weren’t as feminine as I am. Never a diesel butch, though.

The point is, once again I know what God will and will not allow me to have. Therefore, I’m disappointed before ever meeting them. That is, if I ever do, of course.

They say they do nothing as far as drugs. Not even cigarettes. In fact, they were almost ready to forget about meeting me cuz I smoke. Otherwise, the conversation went well. The only scary thing is that the feeling I got from Sally, is that she’s all or nothing and not a part-time lover. She didn’t sound like Brenda yet she did say several things that reminded me of her. Of course, she’s far from as quiet and shy as Brenda was.

Speaking of Brenda, I listened in on a conversation between her and Andy and she told Andy she tried to call me. That’s a surprise. I haven’t called her back but I did call Sarah who says she’ll call me. I like the name Jill, but Sally’s an ugly name.

If I do meet them, even though I doubt I ever will, I’ll sleep with whoever wants to do so as long as they’re not major turn-offs.

Sally and Jill asked me several questions. One of Sally’s questions was, do I sleep with many people? Even if I could, which is impossible, I don’t know if that would be fun to deal with. I’d rather have one occasional sex partner.

Later...

First I’ll write about the talk I had with Fran at CC and then all that happened two nights ago. When I was discussing with Fran how I feel there’s no way to get what I want, he told me about two people he knew.

One was a songwriter who sold a song to Kenny Rogers and this guy did some research at the library. Fran says that that is the place to go to look up music publishing and various information related to the business. If you end up selling a song, the money you can make varies. It depends on who buys it and what it’s used for. Fran suggested that I take a song I’ve written, make a copy and notarize both copies. Then, send it registered mail to Estefan Enterprises and see if she’ll buy it. Registered mail at least guarantees me she’s gotten the song even if she rejects it.

Another person he knows is a woman from S. Deerfield who went to a Barbara Mandrell concert. This lady also sings country music and asked to see her tour bus. A female member of Barbara’s bus said she really wasn’t allowed to, but showed her around a little anyhow. When the woman mentioned how she sang country music, she was asked to sing a few bars. When she did, the lady was impressed and gave her a pass. She was told to come backstage after the concert and she’d get a proper tour of the bus. When she did, Barbara was there and she sang for her. Barbara was impressed also and sent this woman plane tickets someplace to make a demo. So, Fran’s point was that it may not happen that way for me, but you never know and I shouldn’t give up. With my luck, if I had sung and sung well for that woman, she’d have simply said, “You’re good and I hope you make it. Good luck.”

And that’s it, though I can almost always sing country music quite well.

My hand is tired from writing so I’ll continue later. Right now I’m gonna go color in my design book. When I continue in a little while, I’ll write about the talk I had with a guy named Bill a few nights ago. At first, the conversation was depressing but then it turned out to be hilarious. I felt a zillion times better and was amazed at how drastically my night changed. Usually, if I feel like shit, I manage to get myself feeling somewhat better by talking to Andy, Kim, Fran or Tammy. Or listening to music, writing or watching TV or talking to CC people, but I went from A to Z last night.

Later...

Soon I’ll be going to sleep. I hope to hell that cleaning crew that comes Sunday nights don’t wake me up. There’ll be war, and I mean war. I called Peter and said that Kim and I have a busy day tomorrow and need to go to bed early. I mentioned how they came at 12:30 last week and usually I’m up at that time but no way will I have it tonight. Kim was pissed.

It’s definitely much easier to sleep here than it was in Springfield. However, there are many things that constantly wake me up here. Other than regular daytime noise, at night it’s either the wind or the fucking cat. Sometimes I hear a bang or they run their shower or flush their toilet next door. I moved the answering machine during the times I’m asleep so I can’t hear the clicking when it resets itself. It has been a while since that dog across the street has woken me up. I knew it would take 1000 complaints to get results, though.

At noon I spoke quickly to Sally but they were asleep so I called an hour ago and left a message.

I still have lots to write about but I’ll finish it tomorrow.