Right after I last wrote, Kim came over and we talked for an hour. I ended up feeling much better. Last night I spent a lot of time with both Kim and Mark next door and we all had a lot of fun.

Their Christmas tree is absolutely beautiful. Once again, if we celebrated Christmas, it would’ve been so much more fun. Especially as a kid. It’s quite pretty compared to 8 boring candles.

I gave them their Christmas present which I made for them since I cannot afford to buy them anything. I took 6 pieces of construction paper, punched 3 holes out along the side, then tied them off with thin pretty colored yarn to make a booklet. I also used Kim’s stapler so the yarn couldn’t rip through. Lastly, using all my colored Crayola markers, I wrote tons of our lines, edits and bits of journals backward or straight across. It was fun and they loved it.

Today we’re gonna listen to some new edits I made last night taken from conversations with the CC or Bob. I am going to do more editing later as well as make a call from Kim’s house in response to an ad that had Kim, Mark and I flipping with shock. Of course, I know there will be either no results or disappointing results when I call the Valley Advocate personals. This ad stated that this thin, feminine, 27-year-old female with a great sense of humor was looking to meet another feminine thin female around her age. Shocking, huh? And the word feminine was capitalized.

I have 25 stamps now and I’ve got to finish all my letter writing and send Andy his bracelet once and for all. Also, finish the drawing of Tammy, Bill and the girls on their swings.

Speaking of Tammy, she left a message on Kim’s machine last night saying they’re all coming up tomorrow. That was an unexpected yet very pleasant surprise, as I was thinking of how nice it’d be if they came up. I just cleaned the hell out of this place and it’ll be nice for them to see it all fixed up and redecorated.

I finally saw what it looks like on top of the bedroom and the hall. I was like, wow! This is cool. It’s huge. What a perfect place to make a loft or another bedroom if you had a roommate. Andy would’ve loved it and it’d be so much more private. However, I doubt he’d enjoy climbing up there. It is huge and if you work around the pipes up there, you could throw a few queen-size mattresses up there easily on each side. It sure is filthy and a little harder to breathe up there but Shadow likes it. I changed Shadow’s litter box earlier and went out to get the mail.

I was shocked to see that it really wasn’t too cold out. Lately, it’s been bitter cold.

Was I also ever shocked to see what came in the mail, too! Well, not really as I knew it was coming… Maria S’s phone bill in a huge manila envelope since a regular one couldn’t hold it all. I was cracking up hysterically but I won’t be if they try to make me pay it back by somehow discovering only I live here. Also if I don’t hear a dial tone tomorrow. The bill was $1,732.06 and Kim and Mark couldn’t help but laugh and laugh and laugh. Wait till I tell Andy. I’d tell Tammy but I don’t know if I could trust her to keep it between us and spare Mom and Dad heart attacks.

I also got the lifeline discount plan for SSI recipients from the phone co. The rest was all junk mail.

If all goes well with the phone tomorrow, I’ve got to notify Andy, Tracy, Sally and Jill if I can get a hold of them and maybe Fran. Also Cassandra.

I’m gonna run next door and see if anyone’s home and make sure they got their mail. I grabbed it while I grabbed mine.

Earlier I polished my nails with polish Tammy gave me and did my hair which came out good. It is getting oh so long.

I’ve got to gather up any stuff I want to give Tammy or the girls.

Later...

Tammy called Kim to say that they’d all be here at 10:00 tomorrow morning.

I thought Linda was gonna be on channel 3, so Kim left her door open for me before she left. Linda wasn’t on but as I was flipping through the channels, I came across that gay and lesbian calendar I’ve been hearing so much about. What I saw really disgusted me. Those damn butches! They defeat the purpose. What’s the point of being a gay woman if not for the femininity of a woman? Are they attracted to men or women? I know if I was attracted to what I just saw I’d get the real thing and get a man. If they want something masculine they must consider me a major turn-off. I get less and less motivated into putting any effort into meeting people. Forget about whether or not they’re gonna screw me over or play head games or try to change me. I only want sex (lust) not a commitment, but there’s no lust, spark and worthwhile sex with an ugly dog. It’s not fair and it really sucks. Especially when you see someone who does want a relationship go out and get it with someone they’re attracted to, or not caring if they’re attracted to the person or not. Now here I am only wanting very very occasional one-nighters and what do I get? Why are they always ugly or just no big deal? Imagine viewing a person, realizing they’re ugly, yet being able to have sex with them and get turned on and enjoy it. Regardless of whether or not you hate, like or love them. And no matter if you know them well, a little, or not at all. I’m so envious of those people who can do that.

Bad news from Tammy. Apparently, Andy called her and she told Kim he lost his phone, heat, and is trying to hang onto his apartment. Great. Tomorrow, just as I get a phone, he loses his. What makes no sense, though, about Andy losing his phone, is that I thought he was either billing his calls or cut way down on his long-distance calls. Every time he’s gotten a phone bill, he’s told me how thrilled he is over how low it is so maybe he ended up getting re-billed for calls. Maybe he can have his landlord do what mine did… say Michael N took off and get it in his own name.

God, do I ever hope I get my phone tomorrow!

Well, I really ought to try and catch some sleep now. It figures they’d be coming up at 10:00. These people are up so early but they have no choice with 3 kids. I’m really surprised, but happy they’re coming up.