Andy and Diana left a little while ago. They never got to the concert cuz the cable guy came and said the building’s got to be rewired. Who knows when it’ll be fixed? He brought me 7 tapes for now anyway. They’re now on their way over to his old place to get the rest of his stuff, and vacuum. They were here for almost an hour and they got me a burger and fries for my taping the soaps. While they were here, we mainly chatted about old times. Our pranks and stuff like that.

He says the laundry room’s nice, the people seem friendly, but the walls are paper-thin. That’s Arizona for you. He says he can hear the TV in the apartment behind his kitchen and their cabinet doors opening and closing. Also, the guy below him is constantly blasting his rap music, even till 4:00 in the morning.

As we’ve said before, people only care about themselves. For example, there’d be serious problems if the two dogs next to Lenore’s house two houses down from us were right next door. They bark when someone drives through or walks through the back alley and they are outside 24 hours a day. It seems all dogs in Arizona are always kept outdoors whether it’s raining, chilly, or 115º.

I typed a wacky letter to Diana which she’ll probably get Friday.

I gave him about 15 NPN envelopes to mail for me and I let him open one. It was of my memory of that camp counselor in Maine and that only. I’d never give him anything I wouldn’t want him to read in case he opened it. When he pulled it out, he goes, “Oh, I love these things.”

I’ll be back to write more later, but right now I’m gonna watch TV.

Later...

Another thing Tom said we were gonna do is order those sex toys, but to hell with it. If he doesn’t do something he says, then fine. I’m not gonna push or question it. Could he be worried that these things will add more excitement to our intimacy and that he’ll lose it and cum for sure? How is it that I’m so trusting of this guy with everything and anything, except for the issue of his not cumming and about the kid? Why am I so skeptical of him with those two issues?

I asked him to go down on me earlier since I figured he’d probably say he was too tired to screw and he had just had an allergy attack. He seemed elated saying that’s what he likes and was afraid to bring it up cuz I’m less horny at this time of the month. I’m usually hornier towards my period, but you never know with me. That was really what I wanted yesterday too, cuz I wanted to cum faster. I did offer to do other stuff with him after, but no. This is a sign to me of his lack of seriousness about the kid. He knew I was in the middle, too. I asked him if this knowing I was in the middle distracted him from the fun of it. He said he’d never know where my cycle stood without me saying anything about it. I have my doubts about this, but my little test will tell. We’ll see if month after month goes by with him avoiding me at that time without my mentioning my cycle. Why he’d have to avoid me, though, if he really is, beats me when all he has to do is continue to keep from cumming. Is it his way of telling me he doesn’t want a kid cuz he doesn’t have the heart to tell me? Well, not that I don’t want one, but this does a good job of lowering the desire somewhat. I’m not gonna keep playing this goddamn mother-fucking game with him!