Speaking of Sarah herself, I got a letter from her yesterday. A 4-page letter. She said she’ll write more soon enough. It was good to hear from her. She says she’s still hitting it off with this guy Tim and that my artwork was great. She also says she’s gonna be sending me a picture of her soon. I just typed her a 2½-page letter which I’ll mail out today.

Also, I got to talk to Kim a half-hour ago who’s leaving for Boston at 9:30 her time and is supposed to be under for surgery at 1 PM her time. The operation’s supposed to last an hour to an hour and a half. She’s to leave the hospital tomorrow morning. She says this one’s supposed to be more painful. That sucks. The last one was painful enough from what she described to me.

Karson called Andy too, but he’s gonna ignore her too.

Later...

I just got done listening to music and in half an hour I’ll be waking Tom up if he isn’t up before that.

That’s all that’s going on at the moment, so I’ll go and work some more on 99.

Later...

I just got Tom up and he’s now eating the spag I made yesterday.

He’s insisting that it’s not cold in here, but yes, it is. He fired up the back room wall heater.

He said he was bummed that he had to go do some electrical work for Evelyn this Saturday cuz that’s supposed to be our day. He says he doesn’t like anything getting in the way of our time. That’s part of God’s plan, I reminded him, and that tells me that I was right on one of the many reasons I thought he could have for not wanting a kid. That kid would certainly get in the way of our time. Believe me, though, I don’t like that idea, either. I asked him why he didn’t say no, and he said it’s cuz we need the money even though it’s only gonna be about $10 and it’ll only take an hour.

I asked him again if he’s sure he doesn’t want me to work this winter. Money will be tight till the end of the year and he said no cuz we’ve got plans to sell programs and get me singing. Let’s hope so. I do not want a child this broke and I told him so. He says it’ll only be for a few months and that a kid takes 9 months to arrive, but you know where I stand with that. I know love is more important, but I still want us to be able to support it properly.

Oh, my God, I do not believe it. Tom just said that I should try not to be up when he gets home. Then after I’ve slept a few hours and he’s eaten and digested his food, he’ll wake me up for fun. That’d be cool, then all I have to do is hope I get to bed soon after so my schedule is not fouled up for the weekend.

I’ll have to tell Tom since his waking me up for it is new, that I may not act too into it, but I will be and that’s a perfect time for sex to be “just for him.” Also, with a few minutes of getting a back rub afterward, I may fall back asleep better, then I’ll spoil him this weekend.

Later...

I just let Tom know what I just said in the paragraph up above and he said, “I’m not saying what I will or won’t do. I just want to spend some time with you and please don’t make it into something I don’t want to do.”

I forgot. That’s right. He likes spontaneity. Well, there won’t be sex then, since I mentioned it. That’s OK. I enjoy it more when I’m awake.

I’m making a TV dinner now since I’m 104 pounds. I realized I had two choices. To either starve or to give up. Right now I’m giving up, but I’ll tell you what Tom had to say about it later.

Later...

I just ate the TV dinner and after I finish the cigarette I’m smoking, I’m gonna go listen to music.

Tom reminded me of how my weight fluctuated when I first lost all that weight 10 years ago and says that’s normal.

Kim just left for Boston and she’ll get there right before 11 AM. She’s driving her car with her mother who’ll drive her car back to South Deerfield. Then, her aunt, who has to go through Boston anyway, will bring her to her mom’s house in South Deerfield tomorrow. Then Kim will take her car from her mom’s place back to her apartment which is only a mile away. I hope she’ll be well enough to drive even a mile.

Bob’s gonna be going nuts cuz she told him not to write to her till she returns and he hears from her just like the last time. I know she doesn’t want her mother or her grandmother to know she’s associated with Bob due to getting hit with questions, but according to her, it’s her neighbor who picks up her mail. Remember, though, it’s a small town where everyone knows everyone else’s business, so that’s probably why.

I just listened to music and now Tom’s in the shower. He’ll be taking off for work in just under an hour. Then, I’ll probably start some singing, but right now I’ll go feed the birds. Actually, I’m gonna take a shower as soon as he leaves, cuz I’m a grub and I need to shave and wash my hair.

Later...

I thought to myself as I just opened the door, are the birds there yet? Sure enough, they were all waiting on the electrical lines, so I just ran out and fed them. It’s freezing! It will be for the next few hours. Wow! There are nearly 20 pigeons out there as well as about 40 little birds. There are more pigeons and little birds that I saw waiting up on the lines. They must have several places where they sit and watch for when I come out. It’s amazing how they seem to know my schedule. They’re always out there, no matter what time of day I go out there for the first time unless it’s at night. It’s cool to see the pigeons stand on the wall that divides the pool and the Jacuzzi while they get drinks.

I was gonna print out calendars for 1996, but I’ll wait till we get closer to the end of the year and see how many regular calendars we get, so I don’t bother with making extra copies that’ll just be wasted.

Later...

Got a phone call from a lady at the credit union about the mortgage payment. She says the October 8th payment is past due. I left Tom a home memo so he can take care of it and I’m sure he will. I also let him know that I tried to make an appointment to see Dr. Rugg on November 9th which is a Thursday, but she doesn’t work on Thursdays, so I was told to call back on November 3rd and that I could make an appointment for the 10th. Let’s hope so. I need to get it over with and it’s not that often that Tom will have a weekday off.

Lastly, I let him know of Andy’s request. He said that more than likely he won’t need this but he needs to give the dentist a post-dated check for $140. He wants to know if we could write the check out and he’ll give us the cash for it. I told him there should be no problem if he needs us to do that and will mention it to Tom.

Andy and I chatted about different things. I read him Sarah’s letter and he told me about a dream he had. He said he knew it was him looking into the future. He said he saw a guy that was about 24-25 years old wearing a black button-down shirt with a pocket in the front. He couldn’t tell much else about him, but he said that something was telling him that this was Mr. Right. It said to look for this guy when he’s at the bar which he goes to on Tuesday nights and to approach this guy cuz the guy is interested but is too shy. Well, he went to the bar last Tuesday night, but he didn’t see anyone like that. Just a guy with that type of shirt that was dark gray, but he said that this guy was not at all interested. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens.

So, Karson’s left me two messages and him 4. He said that once a month or so we can call her and rank on her and tape it. Meanwhile, she can call us all she wants in between cuz we won’t talk to her. Maybe. I reminded Andy, though, that we’ll just have to enjoy the conversations, though, till I get a new dual tape deck (if I can get one that I can edit on) cuz mine’s dead.

I just weighed in at 102, so maybe I was full of water. I swear I’ve peed 4 times in the last hour and a half.

I also talked to Tammy and got some great news from her, finally. There’s this elderly woman with cancer and her daughter hired her to care for this woman Monday - Friday From 9 AM - 3 PM for $9 an hour under the table. That’s great and the kids are at the perfect age where she can do that. She said with her luck, though, the woman will die. This is great for her, though. She’s been cursed long enough.

I got the dishes done, but don’t feel like doing the bathroom or the vacuuming, so I’ll make sure I jump on it tomorrow.

I started the CD and it went from track 10 to track 7. It’s so neat.

Well, I guess I’ll go start letters to my family. I feel like I’m forgetting to mention something, but I can’t think of it. Oh well.