Today was a good day, even though I slept late. Tom had fun at the tracks today but didn’t win. He says his mom would really like for me to go sometime and that she and I would probably take the shuttle bus they have and go to a swap meet.

Tom and I started to play around with Andy’s 4-track and I even heard myself sing backward.

Andy was telling me how he’s only gonna get 6 free therapy sessions, then will have to pay for it. He’s only gonna take the 6 free ones. I know therapy can help, but he’s in a similar boat that I was in. A therapist can’t give him money and the man of his dreams. At least he’s in Arizona, has a nice roommate, a car, and can hold a job and schedule. I agree with Tom that he’s survived through worse shit and things will get better. I hope they do, anyhow, cuz he deserves it.

So far I’ve been 102 lbs all day today. Last night was weird, though. I fluctuated from 102-104. I weighed 104, ate a bowl of cereal cuz I was so damn hungry and then I weighed 102. Tom weighed 208, then ate bacon and Hamburger Helper then he weighed 212.

Today I sure flowed heavily, but I needed to since my last 3 periods were so light.

I told Tom I’d be flowing heavily for sure today so he thinks I’ll be mid-cycle on 11/5, but I really will be on 11/3.

In my letter to Bob, I asked him to make sure he let me know when he gets those puzzles and Robin’s story (Reunited Love). In his letter to me which he dated 10/17, he said he was “looking forward to getting the puzzles and my story.” Not, “I got your puzzles and story.” He should have gotten it by the 17th if I’m remembering correctly when I sent it so I hope to hell he gets it. I hope I didn’t put too little of stamps on it (I put no return address label on it) and I hope no guards stole it.

Later...

I’m almost done making the best medley I’ve ever made.

We just screwed on the couch. We both like the bed better, though. I couldn’t cum cuz I couldn’t reach enough of my clit due to the angle.

I took down 4 puzzles that I had hanging by nails and thumbtacks and put them back up with that two-sided sticky stuff. I have 8 more to redo but have to wait till we can get more of that stuff.

It’s a good thing I don’t care to constantly change wall decorations cuz once they go up, they’re not coming back down. Who knows how you remove this stuff?

Things have been OK with us which is nice. Last night he said again how things are ready to roll. He always says that and always will. At least things are fine the way they are right now. I think the only thing Tom should do is accept the fact that we are gonna need to go to a doctor to have a kid in ‘97 as long as he’s unwilling to cum. He denies this. He’s either in denial or knows he never plans on going through with going to a doctor in ‘97 and I sure as hell hope that isn’t the case. Not unless I decide for whatever reason that I don’t want one. What I think will happen in the long run (or between now and ‘97) is that he’ll either confess to never intending to have a child or he’ll cover it by saying he’s decided it’s not what he wants. This is what I really truly believe will happen. He’s not gonna very well stall it without giving me a reason after 4/1997. He’s got to come up with and tell me something.