Switched the EC from vent to cool. Tom just went to the racetrack. His parents won’t be there cuz his dad’s really sick, but David will more than likely be there.

This weekend has been going great. Just fantastic. Yesterday after we screwed, I was thinking, yup, that woman was right. I’ll never have a child if that means making him happy. That’s still OK with me, but still too bad in a way. I still do firmly believe this, but I’ve learned something new about Tom that was hard for me to not only learn but to do when we slept in separate rooms. He’s definitely not kidding when he told me that the best time for him to screw is when he first gets up. That way his body’s relaxed, yet revived. We screwed again this morning and if I said that he was faking being as close as he was, I’d definitely be lying. That was certainly no act on his part. I don’t know how I can tell, but I just can.

If only things can stay this good! Oh, I hope they do! I’m gonna do everything in my power to see that they do. Not only is the sex improving little by little, just when I didn’t think it was going to and the frequency of it is going up, but there’s something else that’s improved. He says he has me to thank for it.

I also called my mother who says she’s gotten to the point where she doesn’t think about smoking. I don’t know if that’s the truth, but I’m still so envious, cuz whether or not she thinks of it or not, she wouldn’t lie about it being just about a month that she hasn’t smoked. God, I wish I could do that!

Yesterday we checked AOL to see if there was an updated list of Norah’s movies. There was no additional information about her and we couldn’t find where to send any letters.

This morning Tom and I filmed me fingerspelling the alphabet for him to learn it.

Oh, I forgot to write about what he said he has me to thank for. Well, you know I’ve said that he says he’s gonna do all kinds of things that he just never gets around to doing or does them much much later than he said he would. Not lately. He’s really been making a move on things. He did some serious back room work and he cleared off my drawing table. I also didn’t think he was gonna get around to the fingerspelling so soon. He says that the reason why he has me to thank for it is cuz of the idea I had to try the Slim-Fast stuff. He’s been on it and he says it really makes him feel so much more motivated and energetic. Well, I’m glad he got the idea and I hope it continues to work for him.

Later...

I just watched Little House on the Prairie and before that, I made some fried chicken wings.

I know there’s something else we did yesterday that I’m forgetting to write about, but I can’t think of what it is.

Both my forearms are sore today from trimming the bushes that are right behind the clothesline. I don’t mind hanging clothes out and all and it gives me more to do. However, the bushes were overgrown and in the way before. Especially when I’d hang out sheets. Tom trimmed the bushes out front.

I don’t know if this is what I was forgetting to mention, but we discussed having a tag sale in 2 or 3 weeks. We’d sell mainly old ancient computer stuff. Plus, my old microwave.

Later...

Andy just said that it was definitely still over with Pam, although he’d have liked to have been able to work it out. Well, that happens, even though that’s life and there’s only so much he can do about it. I didn’t want the shit that happened to happen with Donna, Rosemarie, Ellie, that butch and Stacey over at the Vista Ventana, but shit happens. When people do shit to you, there’s only so much you can do on your part. The rest has to be up to them, cuz it takes two to be friends as well as lovers. I’m just very grateful that Tom and I can work out our differences and I know I won’t always feel bad about him not wanting a child. It may not appear to be so from what I’ve written, but it’s already beginning to get easier to deal with. I feel that I’m blessed enough and that most people will never have all I have. I may wish I could quit smoking, have a child and whatever else at times, but you win some and you lose some. Tom was right when he said all you can do is just try.

Later...

The trick-or-treaters are out there now. The sun’s just about completely set. We turned the front light off and locked the screen door. So, if anyone’s dumb enough to ring the bell or knock we’ll just ignore it.

Tom’s working on his computer next to me right now. He didn’t win at the tracks but had fun.

His dad’s in the hospital with pneumonia and will probably be there for a few days.

I just took a bath. Earlier Tom trimmed half an inch off my hair and in two months I’ll have him do that again.

In a couple of hours, I’ll be recording a couple of movies.

Andy said he was worried about his roommate Michelle. I guess she’s been very depressed. She’s mega fat and owes just over a grand in bills. However, her expenses are barely $300 a month, her father sends her $300 a month to help her out and she’s got a full-time job, so why she’s so miserable beats Andy. I just told him that it could be any number of things. Maybe she’s struggling with coming out. Andy says that in his heart of hearts, he feels she’s gay and how many 20-year-old virgins are there in today’s world?

He also had a dream that really impressed him since he’s always been rather wimpy. Well, in the dream, he, Michelle, and his friend Adam from Massachusetts who’s soon to be moving to San Diego in real life were walking down a street at night in his dream. They ended up going through a bad neighborhood infested with gangs, only they didn’t know it. A group of about 8 or 10 people came walking up to him and there were 2 leaders. A guy and a blond chick who looked like Madonna’s type. Michelle told them not to start shit with them cuz Andy would kick their asses. Well, Andy fought the chick and the guy and won. Michelle and Adam were thrilled saying they knew Andy could do it and Andy was shocked, but proud of himself as well as grateful.

They have this really good new gum flavor, cotton candy.