The American Lung Association sent these Christmas seals kids designed. There’s one for all 50 states, including the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico. Idaho’s the best and it won, too. So, I’ll use them as date separators, but not in Journal 100.

I just pulled out my first journal and like I’ve said before - what a shitty writer I was. I checked to see if I wrote the time down that I began writing, but I never mentioned much about time till 3 days later. I probably began between 11 AM-noon judging by how long Jenny was probably there who I said came over at 9:30, then to get to the mall, etc.

I never even mentioned who Jenny, Kevin, Nellie and Mattie were for God knows how long. Yes, it just might be a good idea to “recap” my life. I believe that at some point in South Deerfield, I did write about people I’ve known in more detail. I went back and explained how, where, and when I met a certain person. How long I knew them, and if they were good or bad.

Wow. This is the longest period I’ve had all year. I’m not flowing heavily, but I’m not just spotting, either. Hopefully, it’ll bring some of the bloating down. The weird thing about my stomach, though, is that as bloated as it is it’s hard. It must be gas.

Anyway, I’m gonna take a nice hot relaxing bath. Tom turned up the water temp yesterday morning before he went to work.

Later...

OK, now I feel better and the water was perfect.

Guess who left a message at 4:00 yesterday afternoon and at midnight? None other than Karson herself. I left Andy a message letting him know that it’s his right to be friends with her, but not to call me with her on the line. Also, if she calls and I answer, I’ll just hang up and I’ll have Tom do the same as well. She’s got a new number that’s obviously local, but I’m not sure if it’s still in Mesa or where the hell it is. I don’t know what her situation is or why she took so long to call us. I’m sure she called Andy, too.

I can’t believe Fran’s only called once in this last year, but what about the occasional hang-ups we get? Could they be Fran or Nervous? I wouldn’t be too surprised if they were.

Later...

Yes! I’m down to 100 lbs. Thank God for giving me the ability to lose weight. Just maybe I could lose the 30-50 lbs. I’d need to if the ½% chance happens that we do have a kid. That’s more like a 0% chance, but it’s nice to know that even in this day and age I can do it. I asked Tom if he thought I could lose a lot of weight if I had to even though I’m 30 and not 19 and he said yes. And I don’t need to and didn’t starve, either.

Remember how I said Tom has all kinds of reasons for not wanting a kid now? All kinds of big and little reasons? He probably wants me to be able to wear and enjoy the jeans I got at the end of last winter. So do I. I even asked him last summer if I’d be able to fit into them this winter and he said yes. Now, just how would he know that? Gee, I really wonder! He’s the type who’ll always find reasons to wait on the kid. It’s an easy thing to do, though, so I understand.

If he’s not up by 5:00 I’ll wake him up.

Knowing he won’t hit me for sex this morning is fine, as this is the time I’m the least horny. Plus, he likes to go down on me more than to screw and even if my period was completely over, that crotch cream won’t be too tasty. I only have two more days to go on that.

Oh, my God! Journal 100 is only 3½ pages away. It’s so hard to believe. It’s amazing how I went to the Enfield Mall that day with only a few dollars to my name. A few dollars I should’ve saved for food, but I bought my first journal instead. From there I just never looked back. I just couldn’t stop writing. According to my journal chart, the age I was where I wrote the most was 28. I wrote the least from September 17, 1989 - October 30, 1990.

I just got the computer going and I brought up 100 which has been thoroughly tested. All the margins look fine. I’ll probably change fonts every 4 pages seeing how I counted 186 pages and there are 45 fonts I’ll be using. I’ll also probably print out sections at a time, but I won’t put them into the spiral till I’m all done.

Later...

Tom’s eating now and is psyched for the suspenseful countdown to journal 100 as I am!

I told him I weigh 100 and asked him if I looked better. He said no, but that I still always look good.

When I called my parents yesterday, Dad answered and I began saying I was Special Agent S and that I know he was on America’s Most Wanted. He laughed at that. I told him what Larry said when we spoke last week.

Tomorrow Kim will be having surgery in Boston, the poor girl. I know she’ll be there overnight, but I forgot if she said she’d arrive there tonight or tomorrow morning. I assume she’d go there tomorrow morning and leave the next morning with her mother.

No mail from Alex on AOL this morning, but am I ever gonna get anything from Gloria’s fan club?! I wish I had their address which was dumb of me not to save so I could write to them and tell them to forget it and send the money back.

Well, now it’s time to say goodbye to the double digits! My God, I can’t believe I got here! I actually made it to journal 100!!!!!!!!!

Later...

Well, here I am! I’m actually in journal 100! Tom says he thinks that when I’m 36 or 37 I’ll hit journal 200. We’ll see. After I finish this journal and after I print it out, I’ll probably zing back to a regular page setup just like all my other typed versions of my journals. Boy, this is so much faster and easier. It kind of makes me want to do all my journals this way. I love the computer’s little digital clock down below, too. It’s easier to deal with, rather than the big wall clock that I’ve got in the music room. I’m practically saving my stuff by sentences instead of paragraphs since I’m not copying this out of a journal. I’d hate to have worded a long paragraph perfectly only to have the computer crash on me right as I go to save it.

This weekend Tom’s gonna fire up the wall heater out here in the back room. For now, I’ve got the little portable heater out here and it’s not very effective. In a couple of weeks or so, since we’ll probably have a warm spell, according to Tom, we’ll fire up the living room one. The back room gets the coldest cuz it’s the biggest and it’s an end room. The music room is the smallest, for example, and it’s in between the back room and the master bedroom.

I’m still not sure whether or not I’ll start another story. Probably one of these days soon enough. I’m not sure what it’ll be about.

Anyway, today I’ll probably do some singing and maybe clean the bathroom. I’ll try to force myself to do some dusting and vacuuming, too.

I may try to get ahold of Kim today so I can ask her when she’s taking off for the hospital and what time she’ll be operated on and when she’ll be leaving the hospital.

Wait till I tell Andy that I’m now on 100. I’m sure he’ll be quite pleased to hear that. I’ll also let my parents, Tammy, Kim, Bob and Alex know, too.

I’m debating on whether or not I should discuss different parts of my life more thoroughly in this journal. Of course, I’d interrupt it with current events. Let's see…where would I begin? If this were my very first journal, I’d start off with: My name is Jodi Lin S and I am 29 years old. I was born on December 4, 1965. Then I’d go on to say some of the things I like as well as dislike. I certainly wouldn’t start off the way I did in my first book. I’d also put the time and the year. All I put in was the day and date. Later I added the year.

I wish I could think of more to type about right now, but I really can’t at the moment, so I think I’ll go listen to music for a while. Then I’ll be back later to gab about whatever comes to mind.

Later...

Tom’s getting ready to leave for work. Right now he’s taking a dump, then he’s gotta comb his hair.

I just fed the pigeons and all the other birds we get here. They’re sure a funny sight to watch. Every time I go out there for the first time that day, at whatever time I do, they’re waiting on the electrical lines. Then I feed them and they devour it up in no time. They’re like Piggy. Tom just saw how the pigeons were climbing over each other to get at the food just now.

Today I’m gonna dust, then tomorrow I’ll do the bathroom, then on Friday, I’ll do the vacuuming. That way I space it out.

Tom just left for work and now I think I’ll go do some singing.

Later...

I did some singing and I dusted the place. I don’t know what I’m gonna do right now. Maybe I’ll watch TV. The only thing on now is talk shows, though, and I don’t care to listen to pregnant 14-year-olds. I don’t feel like cleaning the bathroom or vacuuming either so I think I’ll go start cooking Tom some spag.

I’m pissed, by the way. I’m back to 102 pounds.

Later...

OK, I’ve got the spag cooking.

I can’t believe how cold it’s gotten so fast. It doesn’t warm up till the sun comes up. No more pool for sure this year!

I hope this Saturday and next Monday are fun for Tom and I. He reminded me this morning that those will be our days and he’ll be off those days. No doing what we need to do on those days, only what we want. I’d like to think that he’ll cum, but that wouldn’t be doing what he wants.

Sunday he’ll be working on Eldon’s computer for about 6 hours. Eldon’s giving him a VCR which we’ll use in the bedroom in place of the one that’s there cuz the one that’s there is shittier.

Let me go check the spag and stir it.

Holy fucking shit, no! How the fuck can I be 103? What the fuck did I do? I didn’t eat hardly shit. I ain’t eating till before bed. I have to eat before bed cuz I can’t fall asleep with a stomach growling with hunger. I’m pissed, though. Real fucking pissed!

Let me go stir the spag for the second time.

Now the scale says 102. This scale sure does fluctuate. Tom reminded me that that’s what scales do. Yeah, I know, but I wish they didn’t do that.

Well, I’m gonna go check out just what the topic of discussion is on the talk shows.

Later...

I just broke down and had some spag, but I’m sure that if I only have a milkshake and a granola bar before bed I’ll be OK.

The two talk show subjects were hooker moms and violent teens. No thanks.

It’s still a bummer, I guess, that I can’t sense Robin as I used to. Also, I’ll never be able to get Tom to do any real research as to how to find information about her, but I told you so.

He shocked me by saying how he was eager to do more back room work. We’ll see.

It’d be nice to have the use of my drawing table back. I just wish I could draw well enough to really enjoy using it. It’d be nice to go from doing a really good drawing every 20 drawings I do to every 10 drawings I do. I do admit, though, to not practicing nearly enough to get much better.

I left Andy a message and let him know that I hit journal 100. I also tried calling Kim but got her machine. I didn’t leave a message, though.

Did I mention finishing my medley? Next, I’ll do stuff of Gloria’s and Linda’s. I kind of want to fill both sides of the tape. That way there’s stuff I can listen to at any point in the tape if I want to listen to it. Something like that will also be good for when the new kids and dogs arrive next door. Especially if I want any peace in that room. You can hear the most from that room cuz it’s the closest room to them that hasn’t got the soundproofing stuff in it and you can hear out front towards their driveway just fine if they’re playing basketball. I noticed something weird about the basketball hoop. The thing looks like it’s been turned. I don’t know who would turn it and why, but the angle of it does seem different.

Later...

It’s getting to the point where it’s the same temperature outside as it is inside. It’s warmer in direct sunlight. Anyway, in another couple of hours, I’ll vent this place with the EC to bring in warmer air. It’s chilly in here. I mean, I have my socks on.

More talk shows are coming on, so I’ll go see what they’re all about.

Later...

It’s 8º warmer outside than it is in here, but when I ran the EC it didn’t warm it up at all.

I just did some more singing and I watched some more TV. Right now, I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I’m having one of those days where for the most part I’m bored. There are things I could do but I just don’t feel like doing them, so I’ll just be lazy for today.

What will I get in the mail today? Anything exciting? I hope to hear from Sarah sometime soon. It’s been a while and it’s her turn to write.

Well, I may as well go type up more of 99 now.

Later...

This is so cool. A new thing came with Windows 95 for the CD player. You can play CDs in either the order of the songs that are on the CD or in random order. I’m playing an old Gloria CD and first it played track 1, then track 7.

I was just working on 99 and it’s so cool how if I’ve got something I want to mention, I can just pull this journal up over it. All I have to do is click the file menu, then close this and journal 99 will be there where I left it.

Someone just called but I dropped the phone and disconnected them. It’s too early for Andy to be up, so it may have been a wrong number, some sales idiot or wacky Karson.

Now what track is it gonna play? I don’t hear anything right now. What happened?

I just restarted it in random order. The thing also has continuous play as well as the first 10 seconds of each song. Who would want to hear only the first 10 seconds of each song? It’s cool, anyway. At the bottom of the screen are little bars that list when you’ve got activated. The CD player is listed as well as the volume control. Tom plays the TV as loud as I do, but you have to have bionic ears to hear the music he plays.

Anyway, all you have to do is click on the bar of the item you want to do something with, then you can either put it back down there out of the way of what you’re doing or close it.

It just got done playing track 5 and now it’s playing track 8. It’s a neat surprise. I never know which song of hers on this CD will play next.

Why the hell am I so hungry today? I feel like I just want to gorge, but if I don’t do what I’m doing I won’t be able to eat all I want and not worry about it like I’ve been able to do these last 10 years. I probably still do have absolutely nothing to worry about, but I’m not gonna take that chance.

Now it’s playing track 4 which is ending, so, what will it play next? Track 10.

OK, now I’m really fucking mad! How the fuck can I weigh 104?! What the fuck am I doing wrong? Fuck it! I’m just gonna go pig out, then I’ll starve myself for sure. It seems that no matter if I exercise or what the fuck I eat I’m just not meant to have a flat tummy. I mean, I know it’s in my stomach. I could feel it just suddenly bloat out. What the fuck’s making it do that? I’m not constipated. I don’t feel gassy. My period is just about over. I’m not pregnant, so why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Here’s track 9 now. Anyway, I’ll be back later after I pig out. Fuck my weight!

Later...

I just turned the EC on again to see if it’ll warm this place up. It’s definitely warmer outside.

Now it’s playing track 2.

Anyway, I think I’m done typing for the day and I’m gonna have some coffee and wind down. In another hour or two, I’ll be crashing. I still have plenty of time to make my schedule in a way that I can be up all day this Saturday. I’ll be letting Tom know when I’m mid-cycle every month. I want to see how long certain patterns go on. Of course, though, I’ll fib by a day or two.