I didn’t get the chance to write about the weekend which was both wonderful and shitty. Let me get the shitty things out of the way and save the best for last. I already wrote about one of the shitty things which was how alone I felt on Saturday, but yes, I was compensated for that and I’ll get into that after.

The other shitty thing was next door and of course, my trust in Robin has been shot. I just can’t trust her at all when it comes to next door cuz what she says is either hit or miss. She was wrong for the second time about next door and of course, praying to God only made things worse.

They usually come blasting in and out once or twice a day next door, but this time it was about 10 times. Even the two friends they had visiting blasted their way in and out. The friends were there for about an hour or two and I think it was cuz of the closing ceremonies of the Olympics. Of course, they spent that hour or two outside talking as loud as kids do, huddled right against the block wall on our side. Their kitchen is right there, so that’s why.

Since there are positives and negatives to everything, I will say this. Robin’s been mostly right about them next door, but when she says don’t worry about the winter and that this winter will be the quietest one ever and that I’ll only hear them occasionally and that they won’t blast their music more than they do and that yesterday’s 10- time blast-out was a rare thing, I don’t buy it. I know they’re just itching for the weather to cool down and dry up so they can have more parties, play ball, etc. Tom says that he thinks they rent that house which brings me to the good in them being there. If they leave like Robin says they might (she doesn’t know for sure) around the New Year, we may get it worse with whoever moves in there. Screaming kids that are home all the time, dogs and who knows how much company. At least so far, they don’t have too much company or ball games, they don’t have any dogs and the music, however obnoxious, if only for a minute or two at a time.

Maybe this house is owned by an agent of some kind, cuz this house turns over so much. This is the third family that’s been over there since 1993 and there’s been for sale signs, but never sold signs. If this is true, then that house will turn over at least 5 or more times before we move. That’s also something God would do to me; put me through the stress of wondering who we’re getting over there next several times. It’s hopeless as far as getting some older, quieter people with little company and no kids or dogs. God’s just gotta sic something on me. Besides, if this house became dead quiet, he’d just make sure some other house started up with some kind of shit. Yes, it’s quiet 97% of the time around here, but you have no idea just how much the NHA has really scarred me. I’m scarred for life, no matter how much I try to change, adapt or go back to my old ways. Now I have no tolerance left in me, whereas in the past, I could deal with this just fine. There was that train that used to go by my place in Deerfield and vibrate the whole place, even the waterbed, yet it didn’t bother me, I slept through it fine, and it was more than once or twice a day and for longer than a minute or two. I wish I could go back to my old ways as far as that goes, but I’ve never been able to since the NHA. When I hear noise around here, it just totally brings back the whole feeling and atmosphere of the tension and anger I felt at the NHA.

I wish I were 100% deaf or were like Tom. He agrees they’re rude, inconsiderate, and selfish, but it’s no big deal to him. He could tolerate it if it were noisy around here 97% of the time. I wish I were like Goldie and Al too, who hated Sun City cuz they’d never hear a sound outside or see people.

If there are two places I wish I could never have been to, it’d be Valleyhead and the NHA. Better yet, I wish I could go back to never remembering a damn thing in my life before I moved here and keep it that way. The brain is a powerful thing and I tried to manipulate it, but I just can’t change or control my thoughts or feelings. That’d be like making all straight people attracted to the same sex and vice versa. Or making myself hate foods and colors I like and vice versa. The mind just can’t be fooled or changed so easily.

A good 90% of the population is like them next door. They only give a damn about themselves and to turn a stereo down a minute before pulling in is just so damn hard to do and just too damn much to be asked of. The motherfuckers! I wanted to go over there last night so bad and set them straight and let them know that I refuse to have my house invaded and intruded upon with their music, but Tom talked me out of it and insists we can get sound blocks ASAP for the music room and living room windows. Thank God I have such a helpful, supportive, and understanding husband. I mean, can’t they ever come and go unannounced? There were a couple of times when I was in the music room and I did hear someone leave quietly, but why is it that half the time they come and go they do it loudly and other times it’s audible, but not obnoxious? If they have to let me know when they’re leaving or when they’re home, can’t they at least not always have it so loud?

I hate this world and I hate people and I have no regrets about not having so many friends. One best friend here and a couple of others I keep in touch with that are far off works great.

I know it’s wrong for me to say this, cuz I do know there’s good and bad in every kind, but I’m starting to look down on blacks again. I’m sick of their loud bassy music and they’re the rulers of drugs, gangs and crime in this country and last I heard, 25% of them are in jail. I have known wonderful black people, but this is the lowest kind of them there is and due to the fact that so many end up in jail, especially young ones, I hope to hell this guy does time or permanently breaks up with Joely. Most parents are so screwed up, though, that if he left or got carted off to jail, she’ll just be desperate to seek out a new rap-blasting, rude, selfish, obnoxious, loud-mouthed, inconsiderate, spoiled ass of a boyfriend.

Tom also suggested keeping a log of how often they blast off, and we’re doing so, but I don’t see what good that’d do. I told Tom that maybe he should go have a word with them since it did me no good and since as he said himself, he’s the kind of guy who gets along with everyone and his whole demeanor has a persuasive way that’s even more influential than mine. Tom disagrees and says that due to their age, they’ll just be defiant, defensive and rebellious and make things worse. I thought about asking the piggy across the street to have a word with them, but I’m not intimidated by authority figures, so why should they be? If I’m not, people like that most definitely wouldn’t be.

He said we’ll first try out the sound blocks and see whatever other shit they may pull on us, before taking any action of whatever kind. The sound blocks won’t completely muffle it out, but hopefully it’ll cut the bulk of it down. I know that there’s a huge difference between the two bedrooms and they’re in the same location. If it weren’t for the fan and the sound blocks in the bedroom, I’d never get any sleep around here. Not unless I slept at night all the time, but not even then, cuz of the damn two dogs next to them. If I were on the Navane I used to be on, that’d be different, but I’m not going through the shit I went through with getting physically and mentally addicted to drugs again. Well, hopefully the sound blocks will do a good job and God will compensate me with a kid, but I doubt that one. I wish I knew why he was doing this to me. I never did anything to these people.

They’re lucky I’m not Tammy as she’d have brought them to their knees months ago. Well, if I ever end up going over there it’ll be cuz my fuse has blown and cuz I’m so fed up, but I hope that’ll never have to happen. I’ll tell you one thing for sure, though, and that’s that any mail of theirs I get over here is going right in the garbage.

OK, now that I’m done bitching about what pisses me off, I’ll get to the good news. After Tom returned from Evelyn’s we went to Best Buy where I got a fanfuckingtastic stereo! Technically it’s a boom box and it’s small and lightweight, but it sure is powerful. Not quite as powerful as the other one, but I was using 4 speakers before, which I might be able to do again. With the headphones, it’s fine. It’s got 3 CD trays, dual cassette, radio, with 2 detachable speakers and more features than I could ever use. It’s got a remote, a clock, timer set, pre-set radio stations and more. What I don’t like about it is that the CD scanner is slow and the tapes don’t have auto-reverse or a way to scan through tapes. Also, the headphone jack is on top of it, which is a weird place for it. Other than that I love the new stereo and it was just under $200. As a bonus, you got $40 worth of free CDs just for buying any JVC product. So, I got a total of 5 Linda CDs. The most I’ve ever gotten in one shot and now I’ve got the bulk of her stuff on CD. I got her new one and at first I thought I’d hate it. She doesn’t sing her usual vibrant and loud self. She’s singing in a breathy falsetto voice throughout the whole thing and there are no upbeat songs. So far, just like with Gloria’s new CD, there are only two songs I like on it.

I also got a new CD rack that holds 120 CDs and I have 119 CDs. I gave Tom the old one I had in there which holds about 60, to use for his computer CDs.

I saw Gloria last night at the closing ceremonies and was surprised she lip-synced the song Reach. She sang bits and pieces of about 5 other hits of hers live. She looked unusually good for having a kid barely two years ago, but with the way she can afford good clothing, I’m sure she looks disgusting naked or in a bathing suit. The rich can also do cosmetic surgery. She had a hairpiece on which was a good 2 or 3 shades lighter than her own hair. Her face looked good and she sang well, but the sound system was a bit muffled. It’s hard to get good sound outdoors in such a huge place with so many thousands of people.

Got a letter from Bob and finally, he said something that made me crack up. “I love you like I gave birth to you, my beloved daughter.” 

That’d be pretty neat, that a guy could give birth! Kim will get a kick out of it when I tell her.

Yesterday Tom got computer parts to make the two computers faster, so that’s nice to have

I have $50 bucks of my money left. I offered it for Tom to use for the sound blocks, but he said no, that was OK, and I told him that if I could type anything up for him or whatever, to let me know. With my $50, I’ll probably get a bathing suit and maybe a cat/kitty mug, which Tom says they have at PetSmart. I might get a journal and a few other small things.

This weekend we didn’t get around to doing the back room, which is kind of cluttered again (what else is new!). But in the next 2-3 weeks, the back room, patio, roof, rafters, and sound blocks should be up.

More good news for this weekend and that was that yesterday Tom got off. I could tell for sure, but more in the way of how he throbbed than in the way he juiced. Robin was right again, saying that’d happen, but like I said, I don’t buy her I’ll-be-pregnant thing as well as that she and God will do all they can to simmer next door’s music down. If I’m remembering right, she was wrong about things she told me twice and they were both about next door, so I don’t want to hear from her about them. Oh, she also says that if they move, the new neighbors would be no worse than them. Right! These are still basically good neighbors compared to two houses down and the M's when they first got here, so I doubt that cuz most neighbors are quite noisy.