I am in a rather indecisive mood right now because I can’t make up my mind as to what I want to do with my blogs. For now, I’m going to share entries (not just links) with just a few of my FB friends. I don’t know how often I’ll do this, but this way they won’t be left out of the loop no matter what I do with them. I will continue to post old excerpts on MD and LJ, only MD is private for now, unlike LJ. I can’t make LJ private, unfortunately. All I could do is make future posts friends/private and set each of my old posts that way, too. But with over 4300 posts, that wouldn’t be an easy task. If I update Tumblr it’ll only be because the trolls don’t know about that blog.

Although Molly’s mother, who’s almost as creepy as her daughter, doesn’t have the desire to view my blog dozens of times a day like Molly would if she could, I no longer like the idea of blogging for just anyone to see because of trolls like them and Kim. It was fun for a while, but I also like to have a choice. I can turn MD and MO from private to public and back and forth at will, but I can’t do that with LJ and I see no way to do that with Tumblr either. So for now I think I’ll stop updating current stuff on LJ and maybe Tumblr too, and just update MD and MO, only they won’t be public.

Sometimes I want to set things the way I would normally set them had I not been unfortunate enough to end up with these nutjobs stalking me and tell myself not to let them control how I do things, but what’s going on in my life is simply none of their business, even if what’s going on with me is the last thing they really care about. They’re looking for names. They want to see if I’ve mentioned them and anyone else they know. That’s the real reason they follow me. Not because they’re interested in my life.

I had a nightmare about them coming after me last night, but that was no doubt triggered by the discussion I had with Alison about them just before bed. I think they tried to sue me, though, not attack me or kill me or anything like that. That’s a scary dream to have after Mommy Dearest spent 17 minutes and 25 seconds bouncing between my MO and LJ blogs, though there’s nothing to sue for. I’ve been over the blogging rights with a fine-tooth comb and as long as I don’t post threats or sensitive info, I don’t see how I’d be at risk of lawsuits.

I noticed Molly suddenly disappeared from my tracker something like 4-5 days ago. Then Aly told me that one of her fellow group home members, many of whom she’s had to block, told her that her mother threatened to demand that the director keep her offline due to bashing fellow group homies. I’m kind of surprised the group home doesn’t monitor all online activity by its residents to begin with, keeping in mind the reason why they’re there in the first place - because they’re fucked in the head! People like Molly and Kim NEVER change and should NEVER be allowed online for the rest of their lives.

Later…

I had just started to make public my MO and MD blogs and even my old Ask account, determined not to let trolls spoil the fun of seeing who comes around, but couldn’t do it. I guess I not only get off on depriving them of their reading pleasure, I just don’t want these stalkers to know much about the upcoming move and where we’re going. I don’t intend to state the town we move to in public, not that it could really hurt me in any way. It’s just that I think one should be extra cautious when it comes to obsessive, hateful people who are the vengeful kind. I know I’m not doing or saying anything wrong in my blogs, but the whole world knowing certain details about my life and my whereabouts isn’t necessary. Facebook and email are one thing, but I won’t publish pics of the new place in my blog. The inside, maybe. The outside, no way.

Both mom and daughter (I don’t know about Kim), have me bookmarked for God’s sake and these are people who are supposed to hate me and not want anything to do with me. They also know I don’t want anything to do with them. I have read some of the troll’s blog just because some of it is so crazy that it’s actually funny, but I have a feeling they read mine not just because they’re curious to see if I’ve mentioned their name or those they’re familiar with, but to see what they may be able to use against me. Well, I don’t see what can be since I don’t post threats or sensitive info, but still, they’re almost like a peeping Tom peering through my window at me and it just gives me this feeling of unease. Plus there are people out there even more hateful and vengeful than they could ever be and they’re the last ones I need pouring through my shit.

A friend suggested that I just keep generic stuff in the blogs they know about, but it’s a pain to edit the entries to that degree. Some censoring is necessary, of course, but I usually find it easier to just keep private things private rather than edit each entry depending on what blog it’s going in.

Mrs. M doesn’t usually view my blog nearly as obsessively as her daughter, but whenever Molly’s craziness escalates, she runs to see what I may know/say about it.

That fucking landlord of ours has been hammering all morning. Or at least some of it. Started at 9:20 and was still going strong at 11:30. I guess he’s fixing the wooden rails on his deck. That’s my guess anyway from what it sounds like. I just wonder how many more days of this shit I’ve got to deal with. And then what? What project will he annoy me with next?

Tom said the other day that it’s normal to hear your neighbors even a couple of hundred feet away, but is it really? Andy doesn’t hear his and he’s attached to them. I can see hearing neighbors a few feet away, but is it really “normal” at 200 feet? Unless I sleep all day I always, always hear something – hammering, sawing, vehicles – something. The dogs have been the quietest they’ve ever been since we’ve been here, but still, I wonder if I’m just overly sensitive to sounds and easily distracted by them or if it really truly is normal to hear your neighbors on a daily basis, even if they’re not just an arm’s length away.

Well, they’re soon to be an arm’s length away, and they’re going to be coming and going several times a day. So is their company. Plus they’re going to be hammering their own repairs, trimming bushes, and hanging outdoors when the weather’s nice, so it’s time I get used to it.

I just worry that there’s going to be even more delays. I have my doubts about getting into our favorite parks, but we’re still curious about a couple of other options. One is that park where you own part of the park which we’re going to check out this Sunday. As Tom said, the space rent (even though it’s not really “rent”) would be so cheap that he’d be tempted to look for a job closer to the place. We hadn’t considered this place because it was so far from his job.

There’s also a dumpy old doublewide for just 6K in a park with nice wide streets and its space rent would be between the owned park and our favorite parks. This place would be very close to work, but it has no pool. I hate to take another old dump, but life is about settling and I’m used to dumps. This way we wouldn’t have to take out a loan and would still have thousands in savings from the get-go. It seems most options have their pros and cons, but I’m tired of waiting! If the fancy parks tell us we gotta do this and do that and it’ll take another half a year, I say we go ahead and settle. As long as the dump is spacious enough and undamaged, it may be our best bet. Then we could just fix it up from there however we wanted.