I really worry about Mary. She has proven to be the same naïve fool she was before prison. The only mistake she hasn’t repeated (yet) is to get knocked up by an asshole she keeps forgiving over and over again till something tragic happens.

But her supposedly gay friend Steven could very well be a tragedy waiting to happen if she doesn’t smarten up and quit being so nice. But this is more than her being too nice and naïve, it’s about her being stupid. She’s using the guy to help support her and buy her extras. No wonder she’s been shopping like crazy while unemployed. I thought maybe she had a book deal in the works or something or was receiving money from her abusive family she claims she wants to see as “people” and not “abusers.”

Steven is a drunk with a guy that beats up on him. From what Mary’s written in her blog, Steven has shown up drunk, has been destructive, and has said mean things to Mary. Mary told him not to bring his lover around, but he does anyway, even though he’s just as bad as his lover. He may not be violent, but still… he’s clearly not someone Mary needs in her life no matter what material things he may have to offer. Not only that, but she is still on probation and if she’s caught hanging around with a drunk she could get in trouble.

One minute she’s writing that she’s done with him, the next he’s buying her something. I tried to tell her that no one’s gifts are worth the abuse and asked if he’s really just gay. Usually, it’s those who are intimate (or want to be intimate with us) as well as family that tries to buy our love or at least our forgiveness and acceptance. This is a very common tactic for abusers to abuse and then go out and buy the people they abuse a gift, thinking they can buy their forgiveness and a chance to do it all again. Why isn’t she smart enough to see this? She is a true fool at heart to put up with him just for his money and gifts.

“Well, if he wants to buy me a new HD TV I’m not going to stop him,” she says, and also mentioned something about him paying a year of her rent even if she gets a job. Although Mary is a wonderful person otherwise, she definitely has no problem asking for favors and accepting whatever people will give her for free, even if they’re ax murderers. I love money and gifts too, just like anyone else, but not if the person giving it to me is going to abuse me for it.

When I asked about Steven’s feelings for her she said she’d never pass up the chance to turn a gay man straight. rolls eyes At 34 she should be smart enough to know you can’t turn a gay person straight anymore than you can turn a straight person gay. Every now and then, though, a predominantly gay person will be attracted to the opposite sex (it happened to me with Tom), but he didn’t make me attracted to him.

I didn’t hesitate to tell her she’s being foolish and will one day tell me she wished she’d listened to me, but it’s her mistake to make. I have not only suspected that Mary’s sweet, calm nature attracts bad news, but that she still has a twisted fondness for abuse. I think she always has and that a part of her will always like “living on the edge” with abusive people. It’s all she’s ever known anyway. Well, I just hope that when she gets knocked up, she doesn’t end up doing another 15 years when the abusive father kills the kid after she forgave him and let him back into her life one too many times.

Later…

Poor Tom. The portable drive he got crashes his computer. That’s something like over a year since he’s crashed, and I can’t even remember the last time I crashed. Macs are not only tough to infect, but also tough to crash. I laughed at him, but of course I’d be pissed as hell if it were my computer, haha.

I set the alarm for 9:00 and was a little tired when it went off, but not too bad. Jesse was a half-hour late but managed to get the cooler vacuumed and re-pumped in 45 minutes. Again he mentioned the roof, promising to let me know in advance when he’s going to do it. I asked about the hammering and he said he’s building a new deck in front. I thought he already had one, but he said there’s one in the back. Oh great, so now he can hang out in front and spy on us and his future tenants, as hard as it is to see through the trees and have company hang out there with him too, that we can hear down here. Unless he got the lumber from a friend or something, he can’t be doing too badly financially these days. I just hope the next time we see him will be to tell him we’re leaving!

Andy’s all worried about me because North Korea’s threatening to nuke Cali, but they’ve been threatening us for years, so why should we believe them this time? Whatever’s going to happen is going to happen anyway. Nothing I can do about it. If they do kill me, though, then I guess I won’t have to worry about getting any fatter. Besides, if the US stops it over the ocean and it still explodes, like Andy said it would, maybe the winds will carry it right back to them.

I wish they would simply kill those they give the death sentence to and be done with it in a timely fashion. We don’t wait 13 years to send someone to prison that we sentence to prison, so why are there tons of death row inmates running around still alive and well years, even decades, after they were condemned to death? If you’re not going to kill someone, don’t sentence them to die then. If you are, just do it!

I think America needs to get a little Muslim when it comes to death row inmates, and adopt the attitude of those savage muzzie beasts – kill, kill, and kill some more.

Jodi Arias will probably get death for killing her BF, but will she really ever be executed? I doubt it. Another woman who beat and poisoned her husband to death, also in Arizona, was sentenced to die in 2000, yet she’s alive and kicking. So tell me, what is the point of giving anyone the death penalty if you’re not serious about killing them?