Our 20th anniversary is in June of 2014 and Tom’s goal is to weigh less than he did when we were married. When we married he was between 210-220. He’s down to 227 from 285. Well, I sure as hell ain’t gonna be lighter, LOL. I was just 97 pounds when we married. I’m 25 pounds overweight and am probably going to stay that way indefinitely. I keep losing and gaining the same 5 pounds every month. Now that I’m older I just can’t deal with the hunger and fatigue of hard-core dieting and that’s what it’d take at this age to make a serious loss, even with exercise.

I don’t remember one single dream I had last night.

Will this be the month we find our home? I hope so!

Later…

Telling myself to mind my own business and quit worrying about grown-up adults who can take care of themselves is easier said than done at times. The more I care about someone, the more I worry. And, well, I worry that my dear friend Mary is going to shop herself on the streets before she finds work, and I wonder if associating with negative influences from the past simply because they’re “family” is good for her. Again, I know I should mind my own business and let her take care of her own self. After all, I’m not her mother and I can’t control what she does. But I can worry. The people she’s in touch with can never hurt her in the way they once hurt her now that she’s a grown adult so that much is a good thing. For now, though, unless she’s got more money coming in than I know about, I hope she’s got someone who can hold her belongings and doesn’t mind living on the streets if worse comes to worst, cuz I don’t think she’s going to slow the shopping down anytime soon, LOL. Most young people aren’t very smart with their money, and she is still kind of young. We didn’t get it till our 40s and 50s and we may never have gotten it had hardship not turned into disaster. Hope things don’t have to get too extreme for her!

I guess we all have a way of overdoing something. Andy overdoes the sex talk/pics, I overdo the blogging, Tom overdoes the clutter, and Mary seems to overdo the live-for-the-moment thing. There’s nothing wrong with living for the moment, but I think one should live for the past and future as well because the past is what helps shape our future for the better or for the worse, depending on how we handle things.

I understand her reluctance to trust people and how her life experiences have made it damn near impossible to do so. Sometimes you get to wondering if everybody is a liar or if it’s your own paranoia making you think they might be. Eventually, I decided that while I can’t make everyone be truthful, I can at least avoid those I suspect may be dishonest about whatever. People say they don’t want to be dumped, but sometimes they push us away leaving us no choice when all they do is bullshit us or fling all kinds of false accusations at us. Sometimes I’m not sure which is worse, not being believed by those we thought trusted us, or not being able to believe those we thought we could trust.

Speaking of shopping, Tom and I may order some really reasonably priced language learning software on Amazon. Rosetta Stone is super expensive and each level costs about $400. But Instant Immersion’s 3 levels are just $25, so we thought we’d get the Spanish and the German. The reviews seemed pretty positive. The Spanish will be Tom’s 5th or 6th and probably final attempt to learn Spanish, LOL, and this way I can work toward getting fluent in German and more fluent in Spanish. If I like these programs I’ll get Italian and other languages as well. We saw languages for preschoolers and Tom joked about getting that and how that may be his only hope, hahaha.