Still no Molly. Even Kim’s gone silent on Ask, though I’m sure she’ll be back soon enough.

I forgot to say that Molly’s mother sent Alison a couple of messages saying Molly’s “happy and healthy” but still not allowed online, then she immediately blocked her afterward, WTF? Why does she think she gives a shit? As long as we’re left alone, we don’t care how she’s doing.

It’s going to be 90° today and Tom and I are just hanging out doing this and that and thinking about getting out of here. The big question I have is can we go 60 days or less in this place without anything breaking?

The night before last I dreamt I was in a large crowded room with Nane. I pointed in front of us and said “Pferde.” That means horses.

Last night, however, I was at both our old houses in Arizona, only I was outside of the Maricopa one. The Phoenix one’s floor creaked as I walked on it, even though it wouldn’t in real life. It’s on a slab foundation. There were also these decorative tiles in the bathroom that I remembered that were never really there.

Later…

Something Tom said earlier only reminded me just how wonderful he truly is. I was commenting on how hard he’s worked and how helpless I still feel at times with my limitations and all that, and he was quick to point out that I do help a lot by not only taking care of things around here, but by winning us enough money to get out of the motels like I did that was sucking every last dime out of us. And a reliable car to drive as well.

What a great guy he is to focus on my strengths and not my weaknesses! To anyone else, my winning us out of the motels would be history. Just a long-ago memory. They’d say something like, “That was years ago, today is today!” Instead of seeing what I can do and how I can contribute, they would only see what I couldn’t do. It’s sad, but true that when most people consider a new friend, lover or roommate, they see only what they can contribute and how their lives could possibly benefit by having them around. If they have to give more than they can take, they don’t want anything to do with you. So what if you may be a sweet person who’s loads of fun to be around. If you can’t contribute “fairly” then none of it matters, even if it’s not your fault that you can’t and no matter how much you wish you could give more than you can.

This is one way to know who truly cares about us, though, is when we just can’t give or do enough for those who expect us to give equally if not more.