Last night I was thinking that I’d never hear one of the very few things I’ll miss about this place and that’s the sound of the rain falling on the tin roof, but believe it or not, it rained for a few minutes earlier. Love that wet earthy smell!

Andy said he has to believe there’s a God cuz he just can’t believe life was created by an explosion like the planet was. I agree that humans are a bit complex and sophisticated not to have evolved from something that could think and figure, but I also agree with Tom and others who believe He’s not involved in our day-to-day lives. If He were then why would He allow so many bad things to happen? Because he plays favorites? Could be, but not likely. His not being around would explain why people’s lives vary so much and why the concept of prayer is pure wishful thinking. How I wish we could just go up and ask for whatever, reasonable or not! But when prayers are answered, I know it was just a coincidence, not that many of mine were answered before I realized that no one should have to pray because if something’s meant to be, be it by destiny or dumb luck, it will be. Period.

Maybe if anything is responsible for influencing good and bad things to happen to us it’s those we knew who are now deceased. I hope not, though, because if my parents could do bad to me alive, why not dead, although I honestly can’t see why they wouldn’t want to see us in a decent home of our own. I hate what they did to me and could never forgive them, but I am grateful for the very generous inheritance I got. I’ve been deprived, denied and cheated out of many things in life, but for once I felt like something was actually on my side when for a while I didn’t think I’d get shit. My parents pretended to be rich because image was everything to them when in fact they were just very comfortable, and then ended up in debt in the last few years of their life when the economy and their health problems worsened. But still, the attorneys were able to bleed 20K out of them and I think my ending up with 8K of it was more than most can expect to get when they lose their folks. Again, destiny or dumb luck, I do not know. I only know that while 8K may not be a huge inheritance (after all, some people get houses, fancy cars and flourishing businesses), it’s still a lot of money. So many people out there rent and live paycheck to paycheck, so I think I got more than most people get even though 8K certainly doesn’t have the value it had in 1950 or anything like that. My point? I do have some blessings in life, so it ain’t all bad! That money almost doubled our savings.

Just slow. Yeah, things go way too slow for us at times. I really hope this is it and that we get good news from the park this week! A worrisome thought crossed our minds earlier, however, and that’s how to keep his job while we make the transition. He has a few weeks’ worth of days off saved up, but you have to give them a week’s notice. You can’t just spontaneously take time off. Yet we can’t always know in advance when we’re going to be needed to do something pertaining to the move, and it may not be able to be done after work either. So it’s got me a bit concerned. Last time we bought a house he worked nights.

I’d like to think they’d say, “Well, life does exist outside of work, like it or not, he’s already put in sooo much OT, so we understand.” But that’s not the way it works. People are greedy and selfish and when it comes to people having things going on, the bosses only think of how it affects them personally. They’d fire someone if they had to lose a few hours to save their lives. The last thing I want to do is put ourselves at risk and give fate a chance to take advantage of us in a bad way. It’d be just our shit luck to be “punished” with him being fired in exchange for getting the house. Especially one so nice and roomy. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be safely done somehow. People buy houses all the time. But still… nothing good comes easy for us. We have to fight tooth and nail and pay dearly. We don’t get many breaks in life and have things simply handed to us, and even then there’s usually still some kind of price to pay.

We’re not sure why, but Brenda wants to be there when Tom submits the application to the park. We were also shocked to learn that this house has been on the market since 2010! I wondered if that was a bad thing, but as far as we know, nothing’s wrong with the place. It’s been re-roofed, re-plumbed and is structurally sound. I think maybe it’s the price that might’ve been part of the hold-up. It’s not a rip-off but it’s no bargain either. The couple may’ve not been all that serious until now either. They’ve probably been there a million years and don’t exactly want to go. Who the hell wants to give up their house to go live in an assisted living apartment? Anyway, appraisers and inspections come next, assuming the park lets us in, along with carpet cleaning. I want to try to shoot pics of this place after it’s been emptied out and the new place while it’s still empty to show the difference. There’s no comparison!

I’m just a little nervous, as with most new things, about making such major changes. They may be positive and they may be welcomed, but it’s still a big change going from being secluded in the woods back to civilization even if it’s in a ritzy park. I’m mostly nervous over trying to sleep through the motorcycle and next door parking alongside us, but hopefully the fact that the street is sort of uphill, making next door lower than us, will help muffle some sounds. Their roof isn’t down as low as our floor, but they are noticeably lower. No sense in worrying about it that much until and if we get in, I suppose.

Whenever we move, wherever we move to, I am going to go on one helluva washing frenzy at first! It’ll be great to finally be able to wash the comforters and things like that, which are too big for our small portable washer. If all goes well this little washer shouldn’t have 20 more loads to go. It’s been amazingly good to us over the years, and the timing is perfect because you’re supposed to replace its hose every 5 years.

Will I be online more? Yes and no. At first you bet I’ll be having a blast catching up on stuff this sluggish and unreliable connection prevented me from doing for so long, but eventually I may be on less because I will be out and about more often than I am here.

Anyway, Tom thinks it’s stress that’s made me so tired. I slept from 8am - 4pm and pretty well too, yet I awoke with something worse than PMS fatigue. All I wanted to do was lay in bed. I forced myself to have a chicken dinner hoping it’d perk me up. It didn’t. Finally had to shower to get some energy going and that didn’t happen till after 9pm.

I went to join the new thoughts.com just to see what it’s like these days, and sure enough, it wouldn’t let me sign up through Facebook. Then when I went to sign up the regular way, all I got was a white screen. So they’re just as fucked up as ever.

The other day I asked myself if it were even remotely possible I could be wrong in assuming certain questions on Ask were left by Kim, then sure enough, someone proved I did indeed wrongly credit her for the “I like food” one. Instead, it was left by a guy I suggested adding a background pic and so he added one of donuts. I just didn’t think he’d say that, or anything else, anonymously.

I realize that some could be from anonymous jokers or other people, but I think whoever insisted we were “very good friends” and that always gets on me to update MD when I slack off on it, is probably her. Friends usually say who they are and if they do pull any jokes they usually identify themselves eventually. But this person never gives me a name when I ask who they are, and as I’ve learned, if they don’t give you a name when asked, or they ask you to guess who they are, they have no intention of saying who they are. Wouldn’t this be because they know you dislike them?

Later…

Tom will be handing in the park application with Brenda tomorrow after work. We still don’t want to get our hopes up, but here’s something interesting. I dreamed of opening a large bag of toilet paper. The bag had several rolls in it and I pulled out two. Well, I haven’t been very psychic for several months now, but why would I pull out two rolls here in this place where there’s only one bathroom?

It gets better. Brenda must have serious confidence in us because the house is now listed as ‘sale pending’ which puts the Jes pest in the mode of ‘bad news pending’. :) It’s lucky it didn’t wake me up today, too. Fire season is coming and it came down to drag the big tree limb that went down toward the back of the lot. So tomorrow I’ll have to go to sleep with the stress of knowing he might wake me up when he comes to hack the damn thing up. The real pestering from him won’t come until we know for sure we’re outa here, but hopefully the excitement will override the stress.

If only I could stay on days till we got over there! There are many factors that make it hard for me to keep the same schedule and one of them is that being shorted sleep can have the opposite effect on me. Where most people who wake up tired go to bed earlier the next night, it’s common for me to stay tired most of the day, but then wake up in the late afternoon/early evening hours and end up being up 18 hours or so, which means I end up with less sleep the next night. It is truly frustrating as hell, but I just want to get the show on the road and make the damn transition already! I’m ready to see whether or not next door’s car doors are annoying or not, and if the motorcycle does wake me up or not, and if landscaping is a regular thing or not, all the while we enjoy a nice, modern fully loaded house (it even has a garbage disposal) with more space than we’ll ever need.

We should know by Friday, and hopefully the worst thing that could happen is we’re forced to pay the “Klammers” money we don’t owe them.

What a cruel tease it would be not only to us if they turned us down but to the couple still in the house as well. They’d have to start all over again looking for a buyer just like we would have to look in some other park that’s not as nice. For now, I just hope to hell they go from being the couple in the house we hope to get into to the couple in MY house that needs to get out of it!