Aly and I have discussed Kim regularly and sometimes Molly as well. Aly has a cousin named Tracy who is mentally ill and has flourished by being in a group home much as Molly has. Yeah, I figured Marbridge is either doing a really good job of keeping Molly off-line or Molly really is a changed woman. Either way, I don’t want to hear from her. Aly says she hasn’t heard from her since August and has no desire to seek her out. We wonder why Kim isn’t in a group home herself. That way she would still be able to get assistance with things like transportation, but wouldn’t have to deal with her SIL that way. Then I realized they may be paranoid about putting her in one since her sister Tracy died in one, despite no foul play being discovered.

She’s talked to both Kim and Molly by phone before and said that it’s natural for Kim’s voice to tremble. Kim continues to insist that she doesn’t know of any disability she has. As Aly said, she is good at denial but is inclined to agree that it might be that her disability is simply beyond her understanding as I suspect it might be. She also wonders how much of the way she’s treated is her fault. We both know she’s not always the most honest about things and when confronted she’ll deflect or play the victim. Aly’s thought of contacting Carol to let her know how Kim feels about the way she’s been treated but doesn’t want to get Kim in trouble.

Yes, I definitely remember how good Kim can be at denial and dishonesty. I wonder how much of her situation may be exaggerated, though I’m inclined to believe most of it. One thing she says that I don’t get is that she gets in trouble for going up and down the stairs on one leg. This mystifies Aly as well. The question is, is she really “abused” or are they just very strict?

Peter O may be the biggest mystery and coincidence of 2018! Aly doesn’t understand the blocking when all he had to do was simply delete me. Whether he deleted or blocked me, why would you add someone and then change your mind right after adding them?

Aly did say that Twitter does sometimes recommend you to people that you’ve been looking in on. So does Facebook do the same thing? But even if I was recommended as a friend to Peter, that doesn’t explain commenting on my comment. Was I recommended to him and then did he check out my profile and then search for my public comments? This doesn’t seem likely anymore than the doc giving him my info.

And then Becky from VH gave me her opinion and a great idea. She can’t swear to it but she thinks he may be disturbed and that he got a hold of his mother’s password and he was messing with me but then decided to block me when he’d had enough, which is why she thinks he may be disturbed. She suggested I return the block in case he unblocks me and starts messing with me again. This was a great idea! Because we connected, he could easily unblock me and then post anything he wanted on my wall before I could catch him.

It’s been a year or two since I’ve visited his profile, so I do find it hard to believe that all of a sudden I’m being recommended to him. And even if I had been, what are the odds of him commenting on a comment that I leave on an article? Probably similar to winning the lottery. He’s got to have gotten my info from his mother. That’s the only way he could know to look for me. The question is why? What was motivating him? What did he hope to gain from me? Another big question is, did he get my info from his mother in a sneaky way without her knowing? Or did she actually divulge patient info to her son? I think the top most likely scenarios are that it’s either one hell of an amazing coincidence, or he somehow got into his mother’s account. I don’t know if he hacked it or if she left it open on a computer that he had access to. The thing is that they live in different states and it’s been a couple of years since I contacted her. So why now???

I googled her to see if anything new came up (much like I did with my first endo) and there was a recent comment that was negative even though most were positive. The negative comment described her as cold, rude, icy and condescending. Yeah, I can see that. She could be stern at times and the last time I saw her she almost came off as a bit icy and like she couldn’t wait to get rid of me.

So…there are four possibilities.

• It’s a truly amazing coincidence.
• His mother did give him my name.
• He got into her account and found my info.
• I showed up in his ‘people you may know’ section.

Initially, my first guess was number four. Now I’m going with number three. He might’ve gotten scared by my mentioning his mother. Maybe he thought I wouldn’t connect the last name somehow. But when I did, maybe he blocked me out of fear of getting in trouble with his mother over it, and maybe he felt like it was best to get me as far out of the picture as possible so as not to dig the hole deeper. I doubt I’ll ever know but I am laughing at the thought of her getting my message about it. I also looked up the son on Twitter and tweeted to him. He’s either going to be surprised if it’s him and if it’s not he’s going to be in for one very confusing moment! LOL

Not liking the number of dreams I’ve been having where Tom’s died. I never see him die in the dreams and it seems to be a sudden thing and for unknown reasons, but I still hate it just the same. In last night’s dream, I was thinking about how he now knew what it was like to die and whether or not there was an afterlife. Ugh.

Lately, I’ve been obsessed with the idea of having a place, particularly a high-rise condo, with a spectacular view of bodies of water and buildings galore. The story I’m working on is set in a luxury high-rise in New York City. I would never want to live in New York City or any place that was cold and snowy. 26 years of that in New England and 3 in Oregon were more than enough. I know we’ll never be able to afford a soundproof luxury high-rise place but it sure makes for a nice fantasy. Hey, I can dream, can’t I? Just imagine how much detail there would be to look at in the daytime and all the twinkling lights at night. I suppose a dynamic view would be rather distracting, though. The buildings in New York are old and ugly and the Hudson is brown and yucky, but when I was looking at pictures when doing research for my book, I was amazed by even those views. There would be so much to watch all the while giving me more privacy to do so because I wouldn’t be at ground level with it all. One could really get lost in a scene like that and waste time daydreaming instead of working. You know, like I should be doing now. I expected to have chapter 3 of my new book done by now but I’ve been too busy.

I thought of the pros and cons of high-rise living. One of the positives would definitely be that Tom wouldn’t have any landscaping to keep up with. Vehicles and landscaping equipment couldn’t come right up to the bedroom windows either. But the negatives would be hearing people attached to us and I definitely don’t want to return to the days of having to hear TVs blasting through the wall and the floor vibrating from elephant walkers or unruly kids. Another negative would be when it comes to pets. We’d have to go all the way up and down to walk a dog, assuming they’d allow them, and it would be a pain in the ass when dumping the rats’ bedding. You just couldn’t just step outside and throw something smelly in the outside trash if you wanted to.

There can be similar beauty, although maybe not quite as spectacular since you couldn’t see such a vast expanse at ground level, in waterfront homes. Realistically, our best bet would be a manufactured home in a retirement community such as we have here, only I would definitely prefer one with a waterfront view. I also want to get off of busy streets and away from freeways. I can hear a loud car stereo booming down the freeway right now and it just makes my head swim at times. But you know how twisted the laws are. Why stop someone from invading people’s homes with their music and their lungs with their secondhand smoke when you can happily sit back and let illegals come leech off of us at our expense?

Yesterday and today I had some lightheadedness for some reason, but today I’ve been okay.

We ran out to McDonald’s earlier. Although their fries were a little cold and soggy, they were good. Not too salty. I also decided to get chicken nuggets instead of a burger. Tom had his first burger in a while. He tried some new kind of bacon burger but it was too spicy.

Thank you, Walmart, for changing the looks of my pills. Nice thing to do to someone with a medication phobia. I’ve had two pills so far and of course it’s the same stuff (just a different manufacturer), but even so, I had Tom run the number that was stamped onto the pills all the while he was assuring me it was just fine. “Wow,” he said after typing into the computer, “it says here that this is a medication called Levothyroxine, used to treat hypothyroidism, Hashimoto’s…”

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Miss Paranoia can never be too careful.

For a couple of days, I had this strange pain on the side of my left tit. It was a small concentrated spot that almost felt like a sharp cramp or bruise. It’s gone now so I guess I just pulled a muscle. There are muscles that run into the edges of the boobs. Then again, I felt it when I took off my bra.

The mystery of Peter O still remains just that, a mystery. Even if his commenting on my comment was a grand coincidence, it still doesn’t explain why he would deny who his mother was and then run and block me.

I’m never going to know if Doc O read my messages unless she too was to block me because people have the option of making it look like they didn’t get your message if they want. If having the runs, horrible stomach cramps, and a touch of nausea like I had last night is my punishment for messaging her about her son and then tweeting to what might be him on Twitter, it was all worth it. grins mischievously

While I’m glad that the holiday craze is over and I’m looking forward to good things in 2018… the TPE doll, the new roof, the new oven… it sucks that he now has to work 5-6 days a week regularly. That is unless I have an appointment, of course. He does have a couple of weeks of vacation time accumulated but we like to keep those days for appointments and any unexpected emergency that may come up.

Wow, I’m shining my desk lamp on my keyboard and it went from 67% charged to 82% charged in 16 minutes.

Aly moved with her boyfriend to an apartment in central Omaha today and I couldn’t help but laugh when she tweeted that with the help of a couple of friends, they got all their stuff into three vehicles. LOL, we’ve collected so much shit over the years that we could never fit it into three vehicles! Actually, Tom said, we could if two of them were semis. LMAO! So true. We’re definitely going to be traveling light when we leave, wherever we end up. I’m tired of having so much junk to dust and I have no interest in doll collecting anymore. If I don’t need it, I’m not taking it unless I absolutely love it and don’t want to part with it.

WTF? Now it says my keyboard is at 78%.