This is it! I’m SOOO excited! The doll I’ve been wanting for about 13 years is now on its way! Ordered from AliExpress and she came to a total of $740. What’s really cool is that the owner in Guangdong, China is sending a bonus head! They’re both Asian and I’m calling them Gia and Suki. Gia has squintier eyes and you can see four of her upper teeth because her mouth is a little more open than Suki’s, who has larger eyes that appear a little more round in shape.

I only have to hope for two things and that’s that they don’t fuck up the order and that I really can lift what’s going to be a 70-80-pound doll. Not sure if she’s 5‘3” tall or 5‘5” tall because they list both heights, but she’s going to measure 35.4–23.6–35.4. These are approximations. The only thing I don’t like is that she really does have huge tits. Just as long as I can lift her!

The two heads I chose are two of the most beautiful faces I’ve seen of all the various types of dolls I’ve looked at. I decided to go for the face, like Tom suggested, as that’s what I’m going to see the most. We’ll just have to hope I’m as strong as we think I am, but in the worst-case scenario, I can wheel her around in my desk chair.

The Yuna doll was nice but I think she was a little anorexic and that I would have had a hard time fitting clothes on her. These faces are much nicer and even more realistic, however. She won’t be quite as well proportioned as my manikin, but she will be more realistic. Her hips and tits will be a little bigger than the manikin’s but her waist will be a little skinnier. I was tempted to ask for a doll with flatter tits in which they have a black doll featured in but I didn’t want to end up confusing them. Their English is shitty enough.

If they don’t botch the order, one will have brown eyes with a short black wig, and the other will have blue eyes with a long brown wig with streaks of blue and green towards the ends.

It’s pretty damn exciting! Like I said, I just hope I can handle this bitch. She’s actually considered a bit plump for one of these things. But I focused on the face and not only got one great face but two. And all for less than a grand. Yuna would have been just over a grand. Furthermore, I was just on time because they just raised their prices on this brand which is called 6YE. I first noticed them nearly a year ago and while I immediately loved them, they were always over a grand or two.

She’ll be here in 8-16 days! Really would like to know exactly when she’s coming because I’m guessing someone will have to sign for her. I’m hoping Tom will be here when she arrives because the package itself is going to be 92 pounds.

Haven’t heard from Aly in a few days. I guess I will hear from her in spurts but that’s okay. I’m just glad to have her back in my life even if she was a bit contradicting in a funny way. She may have been dishonest in the past but this is the first time I’ve known her to be contradicting. She said she missed having someone who didn’t judge her too much yet that was supposed to be the reason she dumped me back in 2016. She also always used to say how forgiving she was, yet she just admitted she’s not.

I skipped my meds today because I had some anxiety the last couple of days sitting in my chest. Nothing serious but enough to be noticeable and that was enough for me to take a day off. It won’t hurt to do that every now and then. It sure was nice to be able to go straight for the coffee, too.

Last night was the first time I dreamed in four different languages and everything I said was actually correct too, LOL. Someone was asking me how to say grandmother and grandfather in German and I told them Großmutter and Großvater. But then they asked if there was a way to simply say granny or grandpa instead. Oma and Opa, I told them.

Then someone asked me how to say grandmother in Spanish and I told them “abuela.”

Then I was reading a comment I got in Italian, and in the dream, I knew it was some kind of negative comment about something I wrote about my pets. I only remember the word “animali” which is plural for animals. Deciding to play dumb, I told them I couldn’t read Italian.

I also dreamed about chatting with Adonis, and some estranged family member showing up at some family gathering. I don’t know what side of the family the girl was on but it looked like a heavy teenage girl with red hair.

In the last dream, I seemed to be sitting in a row of seats watching or listening to someone as I ate one granola bar after another. My dream self thought that the guy near me must think I was a major pig, haha.

Speaking of eating… I saw a fascinating YouTube video on the negative effects of sugar and I’m seriously contemplating not quitting sugar altogether but cutting way down. It’s said to be more addicting than cocaine according to an experiment with lab rats. It definitely seems that the more sugar you have the more you crave it.

I was surprised at the many benefits besides the obvious ones… Sugar being bad for your teeth and putting you at risk of diabetes and obesity. Quitting sugar is supposed to improve bad breath, eyesight, skin, blood pressure, bad cholesterol and much more like our mood, sleep cycles and quality of sleep while leaving us less sluggish when we’re awake.

The most surprising thing I learned was that sugar can affect asthma as well as brainpower. It affects learning and memory. Furthermore, it’s an inflammatory substance that can lead to inflammation like acne. I wonder if getting rid of sugar would help my rash. I’m soon going to find out! I’m not going to cut back on sugar forever but I’m going to try to eat as little of it as I can for as long as I can stand. I will also be lowering my risk of Alzheimer’s and heart disease this way.

They say that by eliminating 10 teaspoons of sugar a day from your diet which comes to 40 grams, you’ll lose a pound every three weeks. Women aren’t supposed to have more than 25 grams of sugar a day, men no more than 37 grams. I know I won’t lose weight because I just don’t have the metabolism to do it, but I’ll gladly take the other rewards I may reap if I can stand to stick it out.

It really does seem that once so much junk became so readily available was when I started having more cavities and other issues. I know I’m older and that I have Hashimoto’s but maybe I would be 10 pounds overweight instead of 30 if there wasn’t so much temptation everywhere I go.