I don’t understand this doomsday clock shit they keep tweaking. So the world is going to end at 11:58 tonight? Great! Then we won’t have to worry about getting old and not having anyone to help us. Seriously, the world will indeed end by war but I still think it’s about 100 years away. Once technology gets to the point that everyone can send enough bombs without being able to deflect any coming their way in time, that’s when it will happen. People really will kill themselves to kill others. We wouldn’t have murder-suicides if they weren’t. For now, I still think what I’ve always thought… that actions speak louder than words and that people take threats too seriously. Threats don’t mean shit without action to back them up. Anybody can threaten anything at any time and that’s meaningless unless they actually do something.

Thank goodness for hourly weather updates! I was able to time my jog perfectly. It’s pouring like crazy now and pretty dark out there, too.

They put up a trellis fence around the side and back of the house that’s STILL being flipped and at first I was worried they would enclose it and encourage the new people to leave any dogs they may have out there in a park that’s not likely to do much about it. It’s not enclosed, though. It’s just to add a little more privacy.

My dangling “diamond” earrings came today from China and they’re gorgeous. It’s nice to be able to wear earrings again if I want to without them looking ridiculous. Should have thought to try clip-ons years ago!

LOL, that silly Marie. She sure is quick to move on and like with all her other girlfriends this is the “only one who’s ever really understood her.” I wouldn’t tell her this, of course, but sadly, I think she’s either going to cheat on her latest catch or scare her off with her problems and dynamic mood swings. It seems that where some of us have accepted what happened to us as kids and have vowed not to let it affect our future, she somehow got stuck in a rut for some reason and was never able to move on. Gotta love her, though. She’s still a sister and I’ll always hope for the best for her.

Aly and I swapped story ideas earlier. She wants to do a mindfuck story with a character that has my kind of sleep disorder, so she consulted with me about it. The sleep doctor I saw calls it non-entrained circadian rhythm disorder and it is a definite, definite curse from above if there ever was anything up there. There is no cure for it. I do have some control over it but very, very little. I can control it to a degree for about a week or two if even that. It really depends on what’s going on. Yes, the nights are much more peaceful, especially if you’re a writer, but I would still love to always be on days because that would be much more convenient. I wasn’t kidding when I said that the things most people struggle with come easier to me while the things most people take for granted and that’s like second nature to them are what I struggle with most.

What’s interesting is that at the same time I don’t have a schedule, my schedule is actually more predictable than your average person’s. Tom wrote a program to predict what my schedule will be in the upcoming weeks or months when scheduling my appointments. Right now the current prediction for when I’ll get up on his birthday in June is 1:30 AM and 10:30 PM on my birthday in December. This is based on an average jump of one hour and 15 minutes a day. Amazingly, the program is almost always right on.

The program helps enable me to know went to start pushing or pulling it in either direction if it’s a little off in one direction or another for pending appointments, and if I start early enough, it may only require a 10-minute manipulation. So if I fell asleep at 11 PM the night before, then the next night I will push it to 11:10 PM. Get it? I know it’s very hard for those that don’t have it to even conceive of how it’s possible to not be able to control your schedule no matter what you do and many often go into denial about it much in the way those do that don’t understand that yes, we’re born with one out of 4 possible sexualities… Straight, bisexual, gay or child molesters.

No matter what anyone gets or thinks, it’s something that’s very real and it’s on me. I’m the one that has to deal with it, after all.