OMG, I’ve had 44 appointments since switching medical groups in November of 2014! The bulk of them were due to anxiety, too. If the peri and the adjusting of my meds hadn’t caused so much anxiety, then I’d likely have only had a few a year. This isn’t counting my dentist either. Once he gets a raise this spring we’ll probably have to pay even more for insurance because he makes so much money.

Saw the hematologist who was late even though I was the first patient of the day. His Indian accent wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be to understand but I still prefer American female doctors with my own damn accent. They’re the most in-demand these days, so they’re not very easy to get. He was okay, though. Nothing bad but nothing special. He got right down to business and explained most of what I already knew. Didn’t know that smoking can cause an elevated white blood cell count. It’s a good thing I quit 30 years ago. But Tammy still smokes and she says her white blood cell count has been elevated for years. I wonder if that could be one factor as to why.

So is it my autoimmune disease causing it? Yes and no, from what he explained. One good thing is that when you look at the numbers from my last three trips to the lab, the numbers are actually going down. He said that if they were going up, then he may be a little worried, but seems to agree that it’s likely just how I am since I’ve had this for as long as I can remember. It’s likely that the rash I had could explain why the numbers were up and then gradually went down as the rash was treated. The rash isn’t gone but it is better. Could be on its way to getting worse again, though. Having more burning down in the crotch area today. Yeah, I figured it was a matter of time before it got worse again.

So after meeting with Dr. S, I shot on over to the lab which was at the same complex the oncology department is at, and had six vials of blood drawn. They’re going to test for inflammation and for anything bad in the bone marrow. The lab was surprisingly crowded and I had to wait for nearly a half-hour. Either way, I’m virtually positive that all is fine and even he said that 95% of the time labs are negative. He said to call his office if I don’t hear from them online in two weeks.

Then we went treasure hunting at the Eco thrift store as well as Goodwill but didn’t find anything.

We also stopped at Carl’s. I got a breakfast platter. Fucking loud-ass Mexicans, though. Why do they need to talk so damn loud so much of the time? We were the only customers in there but the whole time they were practically screaming at each other behind the counter.

We mailed off Tammy and Eileen’s incense. After asking Eileen about buying one of my books and leaving a review, I saw that she got the message but didn’t reply. I thought it was because she wasn’t interested in buying any of the books, but this morning she told me she had surgery and is still recovering. I don’t know what surgery she had. I asked but haven’t heard back from her even though she appears to have gotten the message. More than likely she really doesn’t want to buy any of the books and that’s fine. I don’t expect to ever make much money even though I’ve submitted Stepping into Psycho for publication. It’s something I’m doing more for fun than for money.

Ordered a refill of my meds. The pharmacist will have to call my doctor. I usually get 3 months’ worth in the bottle the manufacturers use since it’s a common drug.

Last night I dreamed that Nane was my doctor but I barely remember the dream. Then I was talking to some weird pharmacist about some tests that had unusually large ears.

In the last dream, I was living back in Massachusetts and realized I hadn’t had any anxiety since moving back there (I think I was living with my parents?) as I rode my bike to Goldie and Al’s house just to say hi. When I got there, I realized all I had on was a tank top and no pants. The tank top was long so I pulled it down as far as I could to try to make it look like one of those short athletic dresses. No one seemed to notice, LOL, and then I accompanied Goldie to visit someone in the hospital.

Speaking of anxiety, notice I’ve mentioned it less often lately? Yes, I’m doing better. :) Trying not to get too excited and jump the gun, though, and assume the worst of the storm has passed. If I can get to around March or April, then I can start getting hopeful and excited that I could have finally beaten it. Never had anything like it before 2014. It was the WORST experience of my life. I hope that 3-year reign of torture really is over, but just like I’d broken records with going the longest between periods just to get hit with one when I thought I might be done, the anxiety could still return to haunt me. Been a lot less hot flashy too, but again, is that because I’m through the worst of it? Or because it’s cold now?