I’m now learning that storm season which is from May to October is actually hurricane season. Thunderstorm season is from now until October. So now I could be looking at being woken up more than half the year. I’m really afraid this is going to be worse than the traffic at the old place.

I’m pissed off because I not only had a bad night last night but my CBD gummies never arrived today. Oh well. They probably wouldn’t have worked anymore than anything else has. I wouldn’t have suffered all these years if there was anything out there that could work, would I? I’m not kidding when I say I feel totally hopeless. There’s no way to treat this thing let alone cure it.

Two more weeks with Darren and his honking and motorcycle although the motorcycle is nothing in comparison to the anxiety and the threat that the thunder poses to my sleep. I keep hoping it will thunder loudly while I’m awake so I can test some sound volumes but of course it won’t.

I had a dream I was sentenced to life in prison for threatening someone. I don’t know who it was I was supposed to have threatened or why, but I remembered the shock and despair I felt in the dream.

Then Maliheh was in a couple of dreams. One of them I don’t remember, but in the other one, she was doing something to my bad ear. Some kind of treatment. She even patted me on the back reassuringly.

Where I wonder if the prison life sentence dream was a sign that yes, my anxiety really is a life sentence, I wonder if the Maliheh dreams could be that she was thinking of me and that’s what triggered the dreams. Could she have been missing me? Could she have been regretting throwing away a friend she had a lot in common with? Well, it’s too late either way. I have no desire to chat with her much less flirt with her. I’m not the least bit interested in her, although oddly enough I don’t have any ill feelings toward her either. Yes, I was always curious as to why she ghosted me, but I’m pretty sure I know why she befriended and then dumped me.