Gonna put the pictures of my parents’ place into photo albums later.

I just got done working out and vacuuming. I also changed the stupid bird’s cage, and now it’s time to update.

I’m halfway through my 30-day thing where I’m supposed to have the foundation built for getting smaller. So where am I so far? Right where I began. Maybe even a pound heavier. My inches may have slipped back to what they were when I began the program, but we’ll see. If there’s no significant change in two weeks, and especially in 4 weeks, then something’s wrong. Maybe then I can really suspect my thyroid’s out of whack, but if it were, I bet God wouldn’t allow it to show up on any doctor’s test, so I can’t treat it and therefore, can’t do shit about it.

Our beautiful freeloaders are still unusually quiet. Their last childish, negative attention-getting outburst was on Easter. I don’t know why. I don’t know if it’s cuz of the city letters or cuz they’ve finally come to realize that their dishing shit ain’t worth being dished shit right back. Maybe I really did wake them up, they put 2 and 2 together and decided they wanted to sleep. Maybe that’s really why God’s been waking me up (to compensate), although yesterday I slept right through. Usually, though, I wake up for a while 4-6 hours after I crash. Maybe I woke up other neighbors, but not them. Who knows? Well, whatever it is that’s shut them up, I know it won’t last forever. They’re bound to get desperate to act up and make a scene again in due time. Hopefully though, if they’ve just got to do something, they’ll use the kids and not music or dogs, but I still wouldn’t be surprised if another dog came anytime now. I doubt it’ll be theirs, though, and that’s the good side of it. I’m sure it’ll be a dog they’ll just borrow from someone on account of me, but that it’ll be gone in a few months, cuz they’re not allowed to have dogs.

I never thought I’d have to throw a guinea pig on a diet, as rodents are supposed to be a little chunked out, but this is overkill. I never had one this fat. He got way bigger than both of us thought he’d get. He’s so fat he can’t even touch the ground with his foot cuz he can’t get it over his fat belly! So I’m cutting out the extras. No more graham crackers, peanuts, popcorn, or stuff like that. Just lettuce, carrots, and pellets.

Typical, typical game-playing Tom. The thing about it is that it didn’t get me as angry as it used to. In the past, I’d be so mad and so frustrated, but I’m just so damn used to his games and lies, and a child just doesn’t mean what it used to mean to me. A good 75% - 80% of the time, I don’t even want a child. Thank God! Anyway, he used one of his old and very familiar tactics (he just “couldn’t” get inside) and then boldly tried to lie his way out of it. Sorry, Tom. It’s too obvious. It’s just too damn obvious you’re scared shitless, and you didn’t want to get in there. How can someone try to lie their way out of something so obvious? How can he underestimate my brain and even think for a millisecond that I’d buy his excuses and lies? It’d be like me trying to tell people I’m tall, thin, blond, with brown eyes and dark skin. Not short, pudgy, brunette, with green eyes and fair skin.

Then he went on insisting he wanted to continue on, but I put a stop to it right then and there. And truthfully, I just couldn’t get in the mood, as usual, these days. There’d have been no way I’d have cum.

Just like I wouldn’t take this curly hair in for a perm, I’m not gonna put birth control over sterility and put myself through all the BS of it just to ease his fears. He’s gonna have to either come clean or from now on, we won’t have sex unless it’s around period time. No more mid-cycle sex with this guy.

Other than that, I love him as always, he’s been great to take me to my appointments and not letting my talking about and being attracted to Melanie bother him. I’m surprised he’s not jealous, but nope. He’s never had a problem with my discussing any woman I’ve ever been attracted to. That’s good, cuz he has nothing to fear, cuz even if she came begging me to spread my legs for her, I wouldn’t. It’s my husband that I love, but I lust for them both. In different ways, that is. A man’s still a man and a woman’s still a woman and while my husband’s got gorgeous eyes and a killer smile, I have always been more turned on by women in general. Not guys. I’d love to see her more often and be her friend, though, but I know that’ll never be. If I could just know that she was just as attracted to me too, and found me just as interesting, and had me on her mind a lot too, I’d be perfectly happy and content with that. I prayed to God for what I wish and like I said, Melie was never so talkative and happy to see me as she was this time. Ever since our phone call, it’s like something clicked between us. But the big question is, is it all in my head? Is it just pure wishful thinking? Am I falsely flattering myself? Yeah, I probably am, but still, it’s nice to fantasize.

Later…

That silver car is at the freeloaders again. I just quickly glanced out and saw the bitch. Yesterday I heard those packing sounds, but my vibes still say they’re not going anywhere. Watch. Now that I went through all the work of copying/pasting their own excerpts for them, they’ll move first. Nah, I highly doubt it, but we’ll see. I mean, the city’s gotta wean them off of them sooner or later, don’t they? I don’t just know that there are some weekdays where no one’s in that house all day, but I do know that someone’s in that house on Mondays, too. This is cuz the recycle bin always gets pulled back in right after they do a pickup.

Later…

Am I just dreaming? Or have we really not heard our little Caddy kid lately? Well, if it’s gone, I hope it stays gone, but as long as they’re quiet with the music next door, I expect God will compensate me with other stereos. It’s just a lucky, unusually quiet spell we’ve had from stereos these last few days, but things have a way of making up for themselves.