That fucking freak of a husband of mine! Oh, I’ve had it! This is it. If he wants sex ever again in his life, he has to do it with someone else. He has to decide whether or not he’s willing to spend his life with me without touching me. I’m sick of his sex games and his trying to pin his problems on me. I’m not responsible for his fears and denial. I don’t know anymore if it’s games, a legit problem that’s out of his control, me, or what. But the point is, he has been a problem with sex since day one and I’m sick of it. I can’t take another 5 years of this shit. I was horny all night and I waited for him to take care of me and he can’t even do that. He’s had his head in the sand and has been in denial since day one. If that’s how he wants it, fine, but he’s not gonna get sex from me anymore. He can get a hooker, a coworker, anyone but me. If he had told me he had a problem up front, which he didn’t, and if he had been willing to own up to it and do something about it, that’d be different.

Later…

I don’t believe it. I actually woke up at 123 pounds. Yeah, but it’s just one of those short-lived, rare moments. I got lucky and happened to shit 4 days in a row and I slept a long time. As soon as I get backed up in shit again, I’ll be back to that famous 124 or higher.

Tom was out from noon to 6 PM today so he couldn’t confirm my bad vibe on next door. Guess there weren’t any music or ball games today, but the weekend’s not over yet.

Tom picked up a thing called Eurosealer. It seals up plastic bags like potato chips and stuff like that.

We talked about getting some type of mace or pepper spray to use on mama bitch and White Paws. Maybe that’s what it’ll take to get rid of them.

We’re also talking about getting the equipment to not only put stuff I have on audio cassette onto CDs, but that can also edit my CDs.

Speaking of CDs, we’re gonna be going out Wednesday so I can pick up some. Some of the old tapes that I’ve had for 10-15 years have had it and I want to see if I can get some of these tapes on CDs.