Signing in on a happy and positive note. :) 

Two nights ago I dreamed of a character in one of my past books driving along the road. She was something like a US Marshal in the story. Anyway, she was stopped by a uniformed cop and said something like, “Is this reason enough as to why you’re pulling me over?” Then she showed the cop her official ID and asked him if he was a rookie. He said he was and she offered a word of “advice” to him, though I’m not sure what that advice was. 

In the end, the cop let her go and seemed a bit embarrassed. The US Marshal, however, seemed rather amused. 

Last night I dreamed that I was trying to message Nane on Facebook when some ridiculous message popped up saying something like, “Our records show that you’ve been friends 25 times. No more messages will be allowed.” 

LOL, I have no desire to message her for real, though. Our friendship is definitely over. I’ve been much too forgiving lately and I need to tone it down cuz that’s how one ends up in the same old cycle of shit. 

Norma shared a picture of her parents’ wedding from 1928. My paternal grandparents were in it. It was cool to see despite the serious expressions everyone seemed to have back then. 

Other than feeling lightheaded at times, I have been feeling a lot better. Still a bit overwhelmed with all the upcoming appointments and the thought of returning to thyroid medication, but my anxiety is virtually gone. 

As promised, Aly left me a voice message this morning. It was cool how it said “Nebraska” next to the number. She has a very pleasant-sounding voice and sounded amazingly young and feminine, LOL. She actually sounds a lot like Paula who, like Andy, always sounded rather young. Her voice was higher pitched than I imagined. Given her tomboyish looks (not that this is a bad thing as opposed to a style preference), I imagined her voice to sound a little lower in pitch than it does. She sounds so sweet, though, and it’s nice to put a voice to the face of the person I’ve been friends with online since 2008. Unfortunately, the connection wasn’t perfect and some of her words were inaudible. 

I’m loving that the stalker is being stalked by her ex (which she can’t quite fully let go of) and getting a taste of her own medicine, even if she’s been well-behaved for a while now as far as her own stalking habits go. Yes, Molly’s not only going back and forth with the “Do I or don’t I want him?” thing but so is he. In fact, he’s even giving Mommy Dearest a taste of her medicine as well and has been calling and harassing the both of them. At least that’s what Molly says. I saw comments on her Josh rants from Josh himself whining that she’s the one that called him, and something about her mother not believing the apartment he lives in is clean and how much money he makes. 

A girl that lives at the group home (Julie) that Molly’s had problems with is somehow involved. I guess she was trying to steal him from her or he was interested in her. 

The whole thing’s just too funny. It would be nice if he went to Texas and killed her. Then again, if she never goes back to her old ways, then she doesn’t need to die. But seeing her get the same shit dished back at her that she dished to others for so many years is hilarious. I feel no pity for her OR her mother. They really put a lot of stress on me for what seemed like forever, and the mother even had me a bit scared for a while there. I know how twisted the laws can be and how NOT on my side God tends to be. If He could allow me to be thrown to the wolves in Arizona, why not elsewhere? 

Aly did once say that Molly told her that now she understands how I must’ve felt, but still. 

Moving onto yesterday’s appointment, no, I’m not attracted to Dana. I like her style of dress and she has a great body, but she also has a lame face, pitiful hair, and she’s kinda short. I prefer them tall, with more than an inch of hair on their heads, and not blond either. I’m still amazed I was ever so attracted to Doc C since she has light hair and eyes. It’s that sexy smile that got to me, I guess. She is really tall too, and has a great body. I’m more of a face person, though, so even if her body were less than perfect, she’d still be a hottie. 

The question is will she get my friend request AND accept it? That’s the thing; if I find I don’t get added, I won’t know if it’s because she didn’t get it or if it’s because she chose not to accept it. Unless she replies to the message I intend to leave her telling me not to add her, then I would guess she didn’t get it. I was thinking I’d write something like this: 

Hi Doc, 

I had to cancel our December appointment due to needing to find doctors closer to home as well as a few other reasons. Although it’s unfortunate that I have to give you up, I wanted you to know it has nothing to do with you personally. You were wonderful! Perhaps we’ll meet again on Facebook. 

Anyway, Tom sat in with me during this session, which I prefer and appreciate, and even Dana liked having him in the picture. 

As required of the therapists there, she tested me on some things. She asked me to remember 3 objects (I remembered them, even though Hashimoto’s causes memory issues), count in threes, spell the word ‘world’ backward, and name the last 5 presidents. She was surprised that I could name them. So was I, haha. 

We discussed the goals that I wish to accomplish in therapy; not being so anxious and quick to worry about the what-ifs in life. As I also told her, the anxiety has been at a record low since all this shit started last July. 

We talked about my fears of returning to medication after the horrible side effects I suffered through, and how doctors aren’t exactly gods who instantly know it all, and this can be a bit unnerving at times. Especially going into a whole new medical group with all-new doctors. Miscommunication problems with my old endo doc is part of what fouled things up. When Doctor D asked me how I felt and I said I didn’t feel any different, in hindsight we came to realize that she was asking if I felt better since starting the thyroid meds, not realizing I never went to the doctor because I felt bad or anything. 

We talked about the best way to handle the doctors and what’s important to say vs. what’s not and what may only confuse them. I’m more nervous about the medication than I am about the doctors themselves. I mean, while I don’t expect them to be all smiles and laughs, I hope they don’t come off as cold, impatient and uncaring people. Still, they don’t matter as much as how the medication might affect me. 

She wants to see me one more time before I see the new primary, and when I do see the primary is when I’ll cancel my appointment with Doc C and send her a quick message explaining that we wanted to get doctors closer to home, which is true. I just wish Dana was closer, too. Traffic was a nightmare yesterday! For now, I don’t want to cancel the old doctor without seeing the new one first. I’m going to a different building and a different doctor than Tom did, so if I’m not happy for any reason, I’ll run back to Doc C and just change endo docs. 

On the way out she told Tom to tell me I’m beautiful and that I’m not fat, and Tom laughed and said, “And you make her believe me.” 

LOL, right now it’s more important that I see that I can once again treat my disease without feeling like I’m gonna die than it is to be showered with pretty words whether I believe them or not.