Sunday, November 25, 2018

Fucking Mexico! They can flock to the US by the thousands but as soon as someone flocks to them (the migrants), they don’t give a shit and aren’t willing to help. Now just like always, it’s likely going to fall on us to have to deal with the damn migrants which means more of our money lost, more of our resources burdened, and more criminals to deal with since you can’t convince me that they’re all perfect little angels.

I would have thought that being a Sunday the planes would still be taking it easy but nope. Back to tons of commercial planes this morning. I’m sure there will be plenty of landscaping as well because the rain isn’t set to return until Tuesday. Tuesday would be a good day for rain, though, as that tends to be the noisiest day of the week as far as landscaping goes.

We ordered a new Echo Dot to replace our first-generation Echo in the living and dining area because it was having issues. We couldn’t replace its cable because they’re hardwired into these earlier models. Sure enough, as soon as we order the new one, it’s working wonderfully. So we threw the Dot that was in the master bedroom, which was the oldest of the Dots, in the laundry room.

The new Dot is in the bedroom and definitely sounds better, especially for music. As for audiobooks, it sounds a bit muffled but it’s still easy to comprehend.

The Dot also came with a smart plug which I have the master bedroom air cleaner plugged into, and a few free months of Amazon Unlimited Music so I’m enjoying that as well. Not sure if we’re going to cancel after the few months or not but I’m definitely going to cancel my perfume subscription as soon as I get my next sample because I have more than enough.

There’s a pink noise track that sounds similar to the white noise I create with off-dialed stations on the stereo to sleep with. Since this Dot doesn’t sound as tinny as the other Dot I was thinking that after my appointments I would see if I can sleep with that just as easily. I’ll still need the earbuds when I’m sleeping during the daytime. I’m doing a couple of experiments right now since I don’t know if they’ll play for eight hours or so even if the connection doesn’t cut out. I’m running multiple tracks of the same brown noise out in the kitchen and I’ve got pink noise on loop mode in the bedroom to see if they’ll run all day. It’s too bad having it run on a reasonable volume doesn’t block out the planes. I’d have to blast it kind of loud in order to do that.

Anyway, I’ve been feeling well and we’re mixing relaxation with household tasks over the holiday weekend. We’re going to clean another section of carpet later and trim some bushes. Yesterday he removed the shower door and the new shower curtain is working out well with no leaks.

Tomorrow I’m going to call Dr. O’s nurse to find out if those medications can be taken together and then I have to decide whether or not it’s worth seeing her next month. Not sure there’s anything more she can do for me since it’s definitely looking like the anxiety wasn’t medication-related as I thought with the exception of when I first went on 75s and when I was tried on 88s. Really hope she says the medications can be taken together because if not, then everything I’ve done since I last saw her was a waste of time, not to mention how pissed I’m going to be that no one told me this up front. Whether they are or aren’t supposed to be taken at the same time, I still don’t know what else she can do for me but I’ll probably message Dr. A and let her know why my lab results are likely to be bad since I don’t know if she’s been kept in the loop or not.

So I will not only have to decide whether or not to see Dr. O again but also if I should stay on the 75s I return to a few days ago or try the Levo/Lio combination again. I’ll probably just stick with 75s. No sense in changing if there’s no connection to my anxiety.

Although I do get more lightheadedness since stopping the Amberen, I’m determined not to take that for a while to see if there could be a connection there but I doubt it. Sooner or later the anxiety is going to return to torment me. I think that if it isn’t connected to going through menopause then it’s likely just the way I’ve become after the trauma I went through 4.5 years ago and I’ll just have to learn to live with it. Still not sure of the best way to manage it because when it gets really bad it can be pretty scary. When it’s really bad I start getting frustrated, angry, depressed and sometimes even suicidal.

Tom and I have been gathering Bing points together for occasional Amazon treats and stuff like that. Was thinking I might get a golden retriever in a lying position with its head resting on its paws when I get $25 accumulated. It’s 17 in long. I would put it by the right living room vent which the Roomba keeps getting stuck on.

Last night I had a dream that just like in reality my friendship with Nane was over but I had known or at least met her in person.

Tom and I were living somewhere in another dream with a block-walled backyard similar to what we had in Phoenix only this yard had a grid of trees. There were maybe 10-12 trees in all and it was just after a big rainstorm. We stepped out back one day and I commented about how the trees looked denser. Tom agreed.

Then Tom was showing me a piece of material in another dream in which he thought a bite mark was present. I then went to some pool area where some guy sat on a lounge chair chewing gum. I told him I wanted his gum so I could make a dental impression out of it and compare it to the bite mark on the material. He willingly obliged, LOL.

Then I had a dream that my nieces were still in school but I don’t remember the details.

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