Got the new headphones and they work great! Comfy but a bit heavy and clunky. They’re a nice shade of blue. Their pink pair didn’t look pink at all. Even the green was nicer. That would have been my second choice. They make things significantly quieter but you can still hear things. If something went by that was really loud like a motorcycle, I’m going to hear it. The point is to lower the number of things that distracted me. I’d say it cuts down a good 70 to 80% of the general volume of things. Really wish I had these when I was living in apartments! No way I could sleep with the things, though, unless I was always lying on my back, which I wouldn’t be. So it’s great that I have them but a little sad that the world has come to this in the first place. Just way too many loud vehicles these days and way too much activity in the park. Again, even the seediest of places I’ve lived weren’t anything like this. It’s the craziest thing ever. I have the headphones paired with my laptop so I can run the soft hiss of white noise through them while they cancel most of the background noise out. Just the canceling part alone should be sufficient enough as long as no one was working on anything that was either really loud or close by.

The headphones came a day late, and for reasons no one has explained to me, they canceled the order for the Jack Russell Terrier statue. I’m kind of pissed because I was looking forward to that but for the last part of our fun spending, before we really discipline ourselves and start saving again, the fantasy fairy and cat and mouse statues will be here today. So will the new thermostat.

They don’t want anyone working overtime at work for the rest of the year because the company is broke, Tom said. Well, of course, they don’t. I’m feeling better and we need to save. If I was feeling like shit and we had plenty of money, we’d be back to the days of him being gone for 12 hours. It still pisses me off that he had to work that long while I was going through the worst years of my life back in 2014-2015.

When 70-year-old Polly in New Zealand said she would “bite her tongue” in regards to all the perfume I collect, it was a reminder that even the most innocent of things can be frowned upon and judged. She admits she can be rather preachy at times. I keep most of my purchases to myself because it’s no one’s business anyway, but I refuse to go away completely so I don’t have to hear shit about whatever. I don’t want to ghost my friends and I don’t want to chance missing out on what may be very valuable information like what I got about the Liothyronine, the magnesium supplements, and hopefully the raw apple cider vinegar, just because a few people may either not agree with something I say or they envy me.

I’m still stable and have been since the 3rd but I don’t want to get my hopes up and think this is it and we finally found the answer to getting rid of most if not all of my anxiety.

Since running my Word documents through Word’s own spelling and grammar checker to get things that Grammarly missed, I replaced the journals that I had scheduled to launch on my would-be 100th birthday. I just pulled the date up a decade because I’m almost certainly not going to make it to 80, let alone 90. If Tom makes it to his late 80s then maybe I’ll make it to my 80s but since he’s likely to go around 85, that puts me around 77. So my journals will begin publishing bit by bit on December 4, 2055.

Walked 50 minutes on the treadmill and was pretty sweaty afterward even though it was only 70° in here. From now on I should work out in shorter segments or be prepared to hit the shower afterward!

I had this dream that we were living in a small two-bedroom house with a basement. The dream was so clear that it’s one of those that makes me wonder about a possible glimpse into another dimension. I could see the layout of the place clearly. It was small, square and simple. My room and the living room on one side, his room and the kitchen on the other. Between the kitchen and his room was the door to the basement even though I never actually saw it in the dream. I just knew they were there, though.

We were hanging out in the living room when this squirrel came hopping in that we knew had been coming up from the basement and underneath the basement door. It was a friendly squirrel and it wanted to be sociable but I was a bit cautious around it until I could be sure it wouldn’t nip me.

Time seemed to suddenly jump in the dream and then it was nighttime. I was either going to bed or woke up to pee. I opened my bedroom door and saw the kitchen door was shut and automatically knew he shut it to keep the squirrel from possibly clawing at my door and waking me up should it decide to visit us again. I looked across from my door to his door and could see light glowing underneath so I figured he might still be awake and on his computer.

Then I had a dream that my parents were alive and I didn’t know Tom. They paid to send me to summer camp. I happened to be on a day schedule when I arrived, and although I was having loads of fun, I was really worried about how the hell I would manage to keep a schedule throughout the entire summer. Yet I had to be there. I don’t know why but I had no choice and simply couldn’t leave.