My 56959-word story is done! Casual Killer is kind of a silly and unrealistic story but it was something to do to pass the time since life seems to be one big old waiting game. I feel like I’m in Death’s waiting room at times. Like I’m just waiting to be admitted to the afterlife or total nothingness, depending on what comes after death. Anyway, while I’m in the “waiting room,” I’ll edit the story which I’m guessing will end up around 60K words.

I still can’t believe there are people out there so desperate for a good laugh that they’ll set up websites and send postcards with a picture of your house circled on Google Maps asking to buy it that have no intentions whatsoever of responding to anyone who reaches out to them. Is it really that funny? I guess so to some people. I don’t understand what kind of kick they’re getting out of blowing people off but we haven’t heard from any of the four buyers we contacted and I think it’s pretty safe to say we never will.

So we moved on to Plan B and that’s to go through a realtor. We always figured that’s what we would be forced to end up doing in the end anyway. I still wish I could be smart about it and remind myself that my dream house doesn’t exist, and any time I tried to go after a dream I either didn’t get it or I got a nightmarish version of it, so why bother? We really should just stay put. We have a house and we should make the best of it. We’re established in the area and have good neighbors for the most part. This is our spot on earth and this is where we’ll stay.

But then the stubborn part of me longs to be in a subtropical climate and misses the beach even if she can never live that close to one. Florida would be worse for boom car stereos and motorcycles and it doesn’t have Death with Dignity but it’s a lot cheaper.

Soundproofing material available or not, I am so sick of living in noisy places! I don’t expect much of an improvement since this has become pretty widespread and the norm in most places that don’t get too cold but what’s the point of enjoying the nights so you don’t have to listen to the daytime noise if it’s noisy all night long as well with a roaring freeway, planes, and a little bit of bass-thumping and other traffic mixed in? I hate it here and I don’t know that I can ever make myself like it. Yes, I’d be a little more comfortable if it was remodeled and soundproof but it still wouldn’t be Florida. I still wouldn’t be able to sit outside on the patio and get any peace. It would still be expensive. Plus, we would still have to deal with the regular water shutoffs.

I don’t think we’re going to get out of here this year but we’re definitely going to contact Peggy K as soon as I’m back to getting up at 2-3 in the morning. She’s with Lyon Realty. That’s what Brenda was with, the lady that sold us this place. She not only lives in the park but she’s a realtor who has sold many homes here. Most sell for over 100K but the lower ones range from 60K-80K. The thing is we still need at least 70 to get out of here and I don’t see us getting more than about 50. I don’t see us getting less than 40 but I just don’t know if we could even hit 60. That means that if we’re forced to remodel since it needs an updated kitchen, new windows, the walls painted, and new flooring, we won’t be getting out this year. The thing is that I know that things always take longer than you hope or expect so we might end up staying here until he reaches full retirement as originally planned.

I just wonder…at what point do we throw in the towel and give up?

Since I found that it wasn’t the Lupine brand of statins that was making me anxious after all, I’m going to go ahead and try Lupine’s levothyroxine which they have at Rite Aid. If worst comes to worst I can have Doc A state that I want the Sandoz brand and Amazon’s pharmacy will request that.

Was just about to post this when Tom and I started talking. We don’t need to take out a loan to upgrade this place if that’s what we’re going to end up doing. We can get what we need on credit. I was surprised to find we can redo the kitchen, laundry, and bathroom floors for about $400. Those floors would have to be vinyl flooring because they don’t recommend laminate in areas that get wet. We’re gonna wait for the realtor first and see what she says. We should be contacting her sometime next week. The most important thing is to make sure we have enough money to buy a place when we move and that we don’t get trapped in an apartment, which would be more expensive. We get trapped enough as it is.

Gennev did what I thought they’d do and told me they couldn’t give medical advice but offered me a free appointment to see if it would be anything I would be interested in, but now just isn’t the time. Their $ 85-a-month plan sounds like it may be ideal for me but we’re more focused on the house right now. It’s recommended for weight management, menopause anxiety, rage and depression, plus sleep and fatigue management.

They say to expect: A health coach trained in menopause, a personal care plan with 3-month goals, access to a doctor as needed, a supplement starter kit, 2 appointments with a coach per month, unlimited text, and improved symptoms in 3 months.

It’s tempting but with no guarantees, I don’t wanna spend that much money.