Our house has sold!!! Pierce did say that things could fall through so don’t pop the champagne yet but he’s expecting a full cash offer!!! This means that not only are we going to get more money than we thought but things are also going to go faster than expected. There’s a good chance I may be canceling my ENT appointment on June 17th as well as my September and October appointments with Doc A and the dentist.

To back up in order of events, I offered Mrs. Twenties the two bamboo plants that were in smaller, prettier vases. One in a lavender vase and one in a green vase. I’ll just leave the larger clear vase that’s holding a few bamboo stalks here for the next people to do what they want unless the cleaning lady takes it for herself. Mrs. Twenties said she would like to have them and thanked me. They were out at the time so I left them on the table outside the front of their place. I’m glad they’ll get to have a home and live on at least for a while with someone who we’ll take care of them.

I slept shitty last night, waking up several times. I could have sworn a series of bangs woke me up but Tom said he didn’t hear anything. I also thought that the sound machine changed, like maybe Alexa cut out for a bit since the Internet is spotty in that area.

Then I had dreams of meeting Aly and possibly Andy too at a hotel but that’s all I remember.

Then there was the nightmare where I had to have surgery, and instead of knocking me out through an IV in my arm or hand, they shot something in my upper stomach and while it made me really woozy, I realized I couldn’t breathe.

When I finally got up; I don’t know if “sensed” is exactly the right word but I either sensed or imagined or thought of Aly hugging me and telling me it was going to be a great day.

Got up at 2:45. By 3:20 I was surprised that Tom wasn’t back yet from seeing Doc A. I began to get a little concerned but then I remembered Life360. So I opened the app and found he was on the move. I even enabled Crash Detection but not to automatically dispatch help.

It turns out he was caught in traffic forever because they closed part of a road down, and at the house, we could hear tons of helicopters swarming around. We figured it was a suspect chase but one of the ladies looking at the house confirmed that it was actually a downed Internet pole that hit some cars and all that even though no one was hurt.

We had lookers scheduled for 4:30 and 5:15 but because of the traffic jam, the first lookers were a half-hour late. In fact, they were still here when the second lookers came. The first looker was a woman by herself and she gave me an even more promising feeling than yesterday’s couple. The second lookers were two women who didn’t give me any feelings either way.

The woman who gave me a good feeling was of average height and had surprisingly thick eyebrows and wide hips for being older. She had a bit of a deep husky voice as well. I hated to lie to her when she asked if it was quiet but we did mention the delivery trucks. We just left out all the other shit. They also asked questions about furniture and utility bills and the things people would normally ask.

One of the ladies that came with another woman couldn’t figure out how to flush the toilet after she peed, lol.

It was practically right after they left that Pierce texted us saying that he was expecting the full cash offer. Tom replied saying that we had questions and then he called and asked him what he wanted to know as far as how the process works since there’s so much to line up. We’ve got to hire the Florida realtor. We’ve got to book a rental. We’ve got to arrange for the moving pods. We’ve got to have Candy shipped. We’ve got to get our plane tickets.

The thing dampening the excitement is not being able to share it with Aly. Again, I have no way to know if she somehow lives on and knows what’s going on or not. I’ve never been dead yet so I don’t know. I just know it sucks not being able to Skype with her regularly. I miss her SO damn much. It truly sucks that we’ll never get to meet each other. Sometimes it’s still hard to believe that she’s gone. It’s just so fucking unfair. She may not have been the most honest person on earth but she was a great person overall and she didn’t deserve to die at 40 years old while so many murderers and other degenerates out there make it well into their golden years. That’s just so unfair.

The other thing dampening the excitement was my fucking health, of course. If I could know for sure that it’s due to menopause, that might make it a hell of a lot easier to endure. It’s just that some of my symptoms are also symptoms of heart disease. From a logical standpoint, it makes sense that it’s the menopause but damn do I wish it with just stop, whatever it is! I’m so sick of this back-and-forth bullshit and I want my old self back. Yesterday I ended up feeling pretty good but today I started off a little lightheaded and then I felt warm and hot flashy and then my heart was racing. It actually wasn’t beating that fast, though. It wasn’t in the triple digits. It was actually in the 80s and 90s where it usually is when it felt like it was beating hard and irregularly. I almost felt jittery and breathless but not exactly “anxious.” Yet I did even more research and I’m at the stage of the process where estrogen decreases even more and these symptoms are common.

So I ran and took my supplements and had a cup of black cohosh tea and again it either helped or was just a coincidence. After a few hours of that shit, I’ve felt fine ever since. I just wish my situation was simpler. Back when I had asthma attacks, it was easy. I knew exactly what was going on and there was no mystery. I had asthma and I needed to quit smoking. Period.

Despite my intermittent suffering, this is definitely a very emotional time for me!