After I mention a couple of things, I think I’ll be all caught up and will have mentioned the basics.

The only other report I can give is that Tom’s dad isn’t doing too well, as expected and his mom’s arthritis and diabetes are no joy ride either.

Steven is in town, so that’s nice.

I saw a show called Paranormal Borderline and in one segment, there were those doom profits talking. I hope they’re quacks, cuz they’ve already been known to have made deadly accurate predictions.

The segment that really got me was one where a 15-year-old boy was in an accident with his mother. They were in a car when a small plane crashed into the car. The mother pushed him down on the floor of the car. He lived and she died. Years later he married, had kids, and became an alcoholic and a druggie. Regardless of God’s ways of helping to create parents like that, it was mainly due to his feeling guilty and sad about his mother. So he and his wife went to this guy who claimed to be able to contact the dead. He brought her there so he could tell the guy that his mother didn’t blame him for the accident and that she loved him and all that stuff. Supposedly he also told them stuff about them that he couldn’t have known. The thing that got me was how he was saying spirits can and do interfere with electrical stuff like TVs, phones, radios, and more. This is what I’ve been trying to tell Tom, but he feels that spirits can’t influence the physical world, but that they might be able to influence a person’s personal being.

I can’t wait to show him this show and see what he thinks.

The other thing is that we had great sex earlier. Tom said we’re progressing really fast. True. It does seem that way, but will it last long? And where will we progress to? Will he still ever get off at least every few times and have me really feeling like a “whole and fulfilling and fulfilled woman?” 

Do I still believe he’s scared or has something wrong with him? Yeah, I’d say one of these is the case and that the first one’s the most likely, but he did have me wondering for a minute there. I guess the best thing I can do, which I’m learning to do, is just believe what I believe and deal with it and then maybe, just maybe, as much as I doubt it, he’ll prove me wrong at least once.

Now I really understand why Brenda and Kasey were the way they were. Always horny. It feels so good to be at my peak, though, and to have blossomed so much sexually and to have him in the mood more often. Sometimes I still don’t get sex enough, but at least I don’t feel that constant feeling of being sexually starved and deprived.

What I was able to do was go on top of him. I could before, a few times, but it didn’t really work out. The angle was off and I just couldn’t always get him in there and keep him in there. After he got me off in our sideways position, though, it was a piece of cake due to my being opened up and lubricated really well. It felt so good to my clit too. Especially since my pussy’s just about bald, so I could feel it really well. If I were really horny, I could probably get off that way. Tom really loved it and said I made his night and I only hope he didn’t finish what I started when he went to bed.

Yes, spontaneity is just as great as thought-out plans and it’s great that we have so much more variety. In the past, it was usually just his going down on me and our sideways position that we had to choose from. It’s great that he’s been patient enough with me to teach me angles, speed, etc. It eases that abnormal feeling of mine.

If he came every few times or so, that’d still be fine with me, cuz I know a good build-up is always almost as good as a good orgasm.

Women will always be more attractive to me from an overall, clothed point of view, but now, I can’t imagine ever living without Tom’s dick as part of my sex life, any more than I can imagine living without him. I really, really do love this man and realize just how blessed I am. I also know that I’ve sounded really hard on him, and whether or not I have just cause to be with a few issues, I know I want to be with him forever and I know that throwing him away over a few bad things would be stupid when there are a million wonderful things about him. I’d never find another person like him in another guy or woman. I’d rather be alone, or better yet die than be without him. Yes, if he ever comes out and tells me he never wanted a kid or still never came, whether I knew why for sure or not, I’ll still be here.

I asked him if that was the secret (my going on top). I thought that maybe he just knew somehow, that it was time now and that the time was right when I was ready to be able to do this, but he said no, that’s not the secret.

Would I feel like there was nothing left to strive for if he did cum? No, cuz we’ve developed enough sexually to have the fun last us a lifetime and still be exciting and now there’s more variety for us to choose from instead of just oral or sideways and we can always still experiment and try new stuff.

I’m on my 6th envelope for Tom, so hopefully I can get cracking on those and have all 20 of them done by his birthday.