Tom turned 39 yesterday.

I absolutely don’t believe it. No one’s home at all next door. However, it’s still early, so we’ll just have to wait and see as the weekend’s still young. Robin might be connected to this, but I’ll get into it later.

I’m gonna go listen to music for a little while and maybe sing, and then I’ll definitely touch base with what’s going on.

Later…

There are lots of birds out there now. Nearly 40. I’ve got to cut the population in half, but I hope that doesn’t mean losing some of my favorite ones.

Anyway, Andy hasn’t gotten me yet to work on the cat. He overslept the other day, but I told him not to worry about it and that we’d get to it eventually.

Tom only had to work half a day yesterday. He got off work yesterday at around noon and today he’s working half a day too. He left at 11:00 and will be home at 4:30 and then we’re gonna go see his folks.

Tom’s birthday was pretty good, and I hope mine will be, too. I hope any day is better for me than my last birthday.

When he came home yesterday I put a long skinny candle in a snack cake for him after making him his favorite - hotdogs.

Then we went to the mall and developed pictures which we’ll show his folks today. Some came out OK and some came out blurry. Especially the ones that were close up. I didn’t know you couldn’t shoot close up and I guess that that means that when we get the last roll back in the mail that we sent away to have developed, the shots of the birds on my arms that I took will be blurry. I guess I’ll have to have Tom shoot them on my arms and lap. The pictures we got of us were shot about 10 months ago, so we’ve got to take current ones since Tom’s thinner and my hair’s longer. The bird pictures that were included were from before they were brave enough to come near the patio, let alone on me. They’re from when they ate on the blocks in the back of the yard and a few of them show them getting drinks from the pool. There were also wall art pictures and stuff like that.

I’ll be sending Tammy and my parents some pictures and I’m gonna have more copies made to send to them as well as to Larry. Also, I want to send a couple to Anna & Harry. Believe it or not, there’s one picture in there where my face looks OK, but my hair and body actually look pretty good. Also, there are a few stupid pictures that I don’t know why I took, but I put them in the inner covers of this journal. There’s one of the display of that big stuffed animal, journals, and other stuff that we set up on the kitchen table to film and print out posters with. That’s when we were in business and were doing that PrintBIG program. One is of my bead collection and the other is of my journals on their shelves, but this was when I had only 97 of them.

Later…

Got a Bob letter. Nothing new.

Yesterday we browsed around in the mall where we got the pictures and I saw a really cool journal with fruit patterns on its pages and quotes and sayings, too. I’ve got my heart and mind set on getting it someday. Meanwhile, I still have about 244 pages worth left in my current one and one other one. We didn’t end up getting anything else other than the pictures and ice cream.

The Humane Society sent me 5 animal cards. Dogs and cats. I sent them to my parents, Larry, Tammy, Kim and Bob. I also sent Tammy that $35 towards Ma’s ring in the fancy floral envelope. I’m making one like it up for my parents, then I’ll do one for Larry and maybe Anna & Harry too.

Well, I think that’s the basics of all that’s been happening.

Just one more thing, before I get into Robin and other stuff. My parents called me when Tom was at his folks' place and they got my letter in which I addressed my feelings. They said they understood and that it was a nice letter and they explained to me why it’s not easy for them to come out here and they say they might come out one at a time. Sounds good.

Then they called back later when Tom was home to wish him a happy birthday.

Yesterday we screwed earlier. At around 4 PM, so not to my surprise, he never went up top. Probably felt it was too risky since he was more awake (not that it’s my time to ovulate if I really do and am fertile). As we were about to screw, though, I thought I sensed Robin for a second saying, “This is it,” but I didn’t think anything of it.

Bullshit or not, I don’t know, but Tom claims to have had a missed orgasm. I guess that’s where you cum and there’s no doubt about it as always, but it’s really slight. You know you came, but you feel like you barely did. So he said, “I don’t know if our definition of a missed orgasm is the same and I don’t want to get in trouble here or have you think I’m lying or playing with your head, but that’s what it felt like to me. My heart was beating normally, then it went really fast and I felt like I had a total release go through my whole body.”

Do I think he’s telling the truth? I don’t know. He may be and he swears he is and swears that he still really did cum in the winter of ‘93. Well, females have missed orgasms where they barely cum and they don’t get too wet down there afterward, so I guess it’s possible that males can experience the same thing. Just like in the winter of ‘93, I felt no more juice than usual. I just hope he isn’t gonna end up lying and insisting that he cums every few times, but that he just doesn’t squirt anything. Overall orgasms in males have to squirt something out, so if he starts claiming regular and normal orgasms, I’ll be very suspicious and very doubtful.

Then it was bedtime and as I was lying there, I was worried about next door and what antics they could create throughout the weekend when Robin popped in on me. When she did, there was no anger or fear on my part. I just figured, oh well. She may have lied to me and fucked with our electrical stuff, but that’s about the extent of it. She hasn’t done anything worse than anything else that I’ve received from other sources, be it Tom, or whatever. I just lay there still and numb as she began to tell me, this is it. The new phase. Tom’s about to start cumming and it’ll be regularly enough. We will have that baby and I won’t have a miscarriage and I probably won’t need a C-section. She also said not to worry about next door this weekend and that Tom wasn’t kidding about his missed orgasm.

Well, I don’t know about any of the stuff except for the fact that so far she’s been right about next door. She also told me it’s OK to doubt her or feel certain negative feelings towards her cuz as far as she’s concerned, I’ll believe in her once things she says will happen do happen. Also, Robin said it’d be best if I put a gag order on myself and didn’t tell anyone what she told me till after the fact. She said that if I told people, it could subconsciously pull them against her words, but not intentionally.