Geez! What a great start to the New Year. The waterbed heater went on the fritz, but he fixed it. Now the page-down key is getting stuck on me.

I wonder if ‘97 will be like ‘92? The first half of ‘92 sucked, then it got great.

No action next door yesterday, so that’s just fine.

I had money dreams last night, and as I said, money’s one of the predominant vibes I have for ‘97.

I still wonder why God let Tom cum on my birthday when my feelings about having a child were different? Could it be cuz I called that meeting line and he still favors bad things mostly? I don’t know about that, cuz I really didn’t do anything bad. Just played with people’s heads and he didn’t really reward me for waking up Springfield for all those years, either. He took away my sleep for doing that, so no, he definitely doesn’t reward me for doing wrong. Most others, yes, but not me.

I also got curious, despite the fact that I don’t want a child anymore, and I researched some stuff. You ovulate the exact same number of days (14) before your period, regardless of when your period is. From what I could see, he didn’t get off when I would end up ragging 14 days later. Just that first time he did. I get it. God’s looking out for me by keeping his appetite/cumming low and making sure we always miss it, rather than put me through the hassles of a problem occurring where I’d need surgery. That’s cool, but it’d still be nice to not have to deal with periods. I figure I have about 300 more periods to go before they stop, so, my question is this. Will God always make sure we miss it? I mean, I know and trust that he’ll always protect us and keep us from hitting it right, but it’s scary at times. I mean God is such a busy person, so what if he forgets? I guess that’s silly of me. He’s supposed to be able to do anything.

I thought about telling Tom I no longer wanted a child and all the reasons why, but what’s the point? I realized that there was no need to explain something to him that wasn’t a threat in the first place. If I didn’t trust and know God was making sure that a child wouldn’t happen, then I’d have to tell him and then we’d have to figure out what the best method of birth control was for us.

Remember how last summer we both made a list of stuff we did or didn’t see happening over a 3-month period of time? Well, we’re doing that again, and here’s my list of predictions for April 1st, as well as a condensed breakdown of the predictions:

1. I’ll still have a crazy schedule.

2. I’ll still be smoking.

3. Our financial situation will have improved and will continue to improve.

4. I’m not sure if I’ll be working or if we’ll have lost weight.

5. You’ll still be cumming only about 1-3 times a mos.

6. I still won’t be able to conceive and we will both become OK with this as we realize that it’d be both unfair to us and to a kid for us to have one with the way our lives are full of one thing after another. I will have chickened out of seeing a doctor, out of fear of what God would do to us for rebelling against him. Due to both our desire for a child petering out, you will not encourage me to see a doctor and tell me not to be so superstitious. We will also realize the toll a child would take on us and our lives and when we remember my ear, my asthma, your colds, and so much more, it’ll smother our desire for a child all the more, so we’ll both not want this taking a toll on our lives, time and health or income. Cuz a child is so very much not meant to be - we are blessed by God with the fact that we’ll never need to deal with the hassles and side effects of any kind of birth control.

7. I will still have a crazy schedule.

8. I will still be smoking.

9. We will be better off financially.

10. We will continue to be better off financially.

11. You’ll still cum 1-3 times a mos.

12. I won’t be pregnant.

13. I won’t go to a doctor.

14. I’ll be OK with not having a child.

15. You’ll be OK with not having a child.