It looks like there’s still no one next door. For the last 2-3 days, I don’t think even just she’s been there, cuz I haven’t seen any lights on at night. I love it, though, and once again, I hope it’s this way in the summer, too. And, that it stays that way till we move. I know that’s asking a wee bit too much, though, cuz there’s bound to be a few more turnovers by the time we move.

So far, my talking daily about my wanting a kid and knowing I can never have one, is not helping him get off more often. It’s only been a few days, though, so hopefully soon enough it’ll work and not be one of those things he just thinks will work.

The weather was gorgeous today. In the upper 70s. It’s to be that way for a few days. I called Tammy to rub it in a bit. I washed a load of my clothes, hung them out to dry, and made spaghetti. I also did some proofreading. I spoke with Andy yesterday and got my email today from Marla. I guess Kim will call or write again soon.

Am I ever gonna hear from Anna and Harry? I wonder. She’s gonna be busy now what with taxes coming up.

As for Paula, who knows where she is? I still doubt the ditz has any clue as to how to get a hold of me. I’m sure she lost anything that had my address or number written on it. Or the kid destroyed it.

I guess that either at the end of this week or the beginning of next, I’ll get the package my parents are sending.

I’ve had the spat that me and my folks had a while back on my mind every once in a while, and I came to my final decision about that. I told them in a letter I began to them that I can’t stop them from exaggerating, lying or discussing our business with others, but I also can’t have a one-sided relationship with them. You don’t tell adults what to do and I don’t do shows for anyone, I do me. I’m me and that’s it. I told them that from now on, we’re all gonna say what we’ve got to or want to say and that it’s up to each other how we’ll deal with it. I did tell them, however, that I do have a degree of love and respect for them, therefore, I will make an effort to watch what I say and use my best judgment, but only cuz that’s what I want to do. Not cuz they ordered me to do so. No one tells me how to be, what to say, or what to do, and if they’ve got a problem with that, tough shit!!! This is how it’s gonna be from now on. They have to meet me halfway or it’s no way at all.

It’s a shame, though, that at this age they haven’t changed much. I have seen them change in some ways, but it’s a shame that they’re so selfish, insensitive, inconsiderate, and not very understanding. Like I said, I don’t know what drives them for sure, be it low self-esteem, low tolerance, jealousy, etc.

I do know that Mom didn’t like any kind of attention directed towards me over anything I could do or anything I knew, cuz then she’d feel like she was lacking the attention. She was also one for being the center of attention. I used to be like that somewhat myself when I was younger, due to the attention I lacked and she used to get on my case about it. It wasn’t too often that I tried to make myself the center of attention, and it wasn’t too often she’d get on my case about it, but looking back, I can see that she did that cuz she was seeing a little bit of her in me and that probably scared her.

In certain ways, she hated it when we kids were like her, cuz it was an embarrassing reminder to her of how she was/is, but in other ways, she wanted us to be just like her or lower than her.