Just got off the phone with Sandy and Jen. I screwed up, though. I thought that Jen’s birthday was today and that Sandy’s was tomorrow, but it’s the other way around. Oh, well, no big deal, as they said.

Then I called Larry at work. He said it’s gonna be a while before he’s in a talking mood and in the mood for jokes, but he and the others are doing remarkably well. I don’t think one can talk about something too much, in my opinion, but I was afraid they wouldn’t talk enough, as it sounds like they’re balancing communication, work, and other stuff quite well. They are a very strong family. I reminded Larry that if he needed someone to talk to, I was there for him and he appreciated that. That’s all anyone can do for him or any of them I guess.

The phone’s ringing now and I’m sure it’s Andy. I don’t feel like talking as long as he likes to, so I’ll let him leave a message. I hope he’s OK. He’s still putting up with Quinn’s abuse and he called me yesterday about it. He can come to me anytime with any problem, but I wish he’d just ditch this asshole for once and for all. He’s never let anyone else treat him the way he lets Quinn treat him and it’s ridiculous. What happened to the Andy that has self-respect and doesn’t take any shit he doesn’t deserve? I really think he’s mistaking lust for love, but only he knows how he truly feels. Still, how can you love someone who cuts you down all the time and who’s always threatening you? Wouldn’t he or anyone rather be alone than be in a bad relationship? I just want to go over there and shake this guy. I wish he’d move out of state but fat chance. Well, hopefully, he’ll end up in jail for years but fat chance again. These are the kinds of sick assholes that God gives it all to and that are very lucky in money, health, escaping the law, etc.

I hope I finally get the stuff Ma’s sending today and I wish to hell I’d get a call or a letter from Anne and Harry and Paula, but I don’t know about that.

I’m having major PMS luck. All I have is tits that are a bit sore and today’s the second day I’ve been stuck. I won’t count the bloating, since I’m bloated all the time. I have no pre-cramps, but I’m sure they’re well on their way. I’m only 4-5 days away from my rag, so I should get hit pretty hard with cramps any second now.

Of course, now’s when God takes complete control over my body and I have no say in it whatsoever. I say I want to be pregnant, God laughs and makes me get my period. I’m sure it’ll be real light again, though, but all my rights go to him now. There isn’t a damn thing I can do to take charge of my own body.

Today AMEX called Tom (where he used to work), and they want to pay him to do some programming to make some changes to some kind of labels they use for something.

AOL is so fucked up and I’m so sick of their shit. All kinds of people are filing lawsuits against them, cuz it’s so hard to get online. Either that or they’re deliberately kicking people off-line, cuz they just don’t have enough phones and equipment to handle the high volume of traffic. They switched to flat rates just so they could fuck with everyone. They figured they wouldn’t make it easy for people, since they gave us all a break with flat-rate fees.

I’m not sure now if next door really is moving or not. I still see no car over there, but in the early evenings there are lights on usually, then they go off at around 9:30 when she goes to bed. I believe she and the kid get picked up by her dad at around 7:30 AM. There’s also no for-rent or for-sale sign up. This must explain why I don’t have the “new tenant jitters.”

Tom and I agreed to take $10 a month for each of us to buy whatever we want. He used his $10 at the racetrack and I used my $10 to get a new cat mug (a Maine Coon). I also got the animals a treat. I may save the next 3-4 months’ worth of money, so I can buy 2 mugs and 2 puzzles. I certainly won’t be needing journals for quite a while. I’m about at the end of this one, but I have 6 blanks left.

Later...

Yesterday, Tom and I also went to the library where I got two more Dean Koontz books. I also got two audio cassettes where Norah reads the life story of Jill Ireland. I believe she was an actress, too.

Well, now I’ve got to go dry the clothes I’m washing now.

Later...

Tom said to wake him up if he’s not up by 10:00.

I finally did a duty, so no more being stuck.

I think I mentioned sending an email to a theater that I thought may be able to give me an address to send Norah fan mail, but I had no luck. They sent a reply back saying they knew nothing about it or anyone else that did. So, I just tried somewhere else, but I doubt I’ll ever find a way to write to her. I’m still trying to find an address for Writers/Artists. That’s the agency she works for.

Still nothing yet from Mom and Dad, but I sent their letter out today. The one setting them straight about not telling me what to do and all about how I’ll do and say what I so desire. They can either bitch about it or accept it, but that is the way it’s gonna be.

I also sent them a copy of He Was Only Sixteen.

I see a light on next door. I never heard any car doors, signaling someone may have been dropped off there and now I think that they may have a light on a timer to make it look like someone’s there at least in the early evenings. Maybe they have it set to go on at around 7 PM - 10 PM. Maybe they’ve been staying at their new place for the most part during these last several months. Someone had to have been there Sunday night, though, or very early Monday morning, to put their recycle can out, cuz we saw it out there when we left in the mid-afternoon to go to the library and the pet store.

I’m just so amazed at this awesome PMS I’m having. It’s weird, though, how I’m not really horny every minute like I usually am at this time, and a part of me hopes he wakes up too late for sex. Maybe I’ll get in the mood later, though. Still no pre-cramps, but I know that within the next 24 hours, I’m gonna get slammed with them big time. I can tell, though, that this period is gonna be way too light, so all the more, I’ll be retaining more water. I researched water retention in AOL’s encyclopedia and it suggests something could not only be wacky with the hormones but also with the pituitary or thyroid glands, though I hope not. I don’t want to have to deal with any bullshit or pop pills, but if it’ll help me, I suppose it’d be for the better. I just want to know why I’m like this and what I can do about it and that is, after all, what I’m mainly seeing Rugg about.

Later...

Well, the freeloader just came in at a little past 11:00. I’ve never known him to come in at that hour. The music was at a reasonable volume, but I have a feeling that that may only have been due to his having the windows shut. I swear, though, if he goes back to his old earthquaking, bass-thumping shit, I’ll make the little bastard sorrier than all hell. What’s weird about it is why would he come in at just after 11:00? And why on a Tuesday night? I really thought the freeloaders wouldn’t be back till the weekend and no, they’re definitely not moving. That house for rent must’ve been a similarly designed house, but not on this street.