I just sent my folks what will be their last letter till they get here.

I called Larry too, who said it was a bad day. He sounded awful.

Then I called Tammy and she said that the reason why mom and dad hadn’t called much was cuz when they did, Larry didn’t seem to want to talk. So they decided to back off and let Larry do the calling. Tammy’s gonna tell Mom and Dad to casually tell Larry, without bringing us up, why they chose to let him call, so he doesn’t get the wrong idea and feel like they don’t care or don’t want to deal with it. That’s what I thought was the case, too, until Tammy explained this to me.

Anyway, Tom was originally gonna just bring Mom to church, but now he has to fix her lock that broke, so who knows when he’ll get home.

I haven’t seen Gizzy go up to the new tubes yet on his own, but if he doesn’t, maybe he’ll like it better if we move the tubes elsewhere. We’ll see. He’s been on his wheel forever. All last night and today he’s just been wheeling away.

I’m still doing OK, but am bummed at the thought of having to be forced into my period. I’m trying not to think about it till I get the period and have to deal with reality then. It’s hard, though. It really is. We just wanted a baby and we can’t even have that. Meanwhile, God couldn’t care less and he’ll just go on allowing one unfit person and teenager after another to have all the kids they want.

Later...

Oh, fuck! They’re in season next door for their ballgames and parties. I heard some kid, or kids, playing ball over there and now I wonder, what kind of party are they gonna have tonight? The hotter it is outside, the more these people love to be outdoors and it’s basketball season and they’re black. Blacks and basketball go hand in hand, so now I’m sure I’ll be hit with a monthly party from over there once or twice a month till around October.

Later...

They didn’t play for very long and there are no cars over there, so that’s OK. As long as it’s not constant, ball-playing will be OK every now and then, cuz in the back with the fan on, I can’t hear it. Also, it can’t wake me up. So hopefully, if Mike stays out of the picture, maybe there won’t be parties and if there are, they’ll omit the bass. It’s the bass that I don’t want to hear. An occasional ballgame and loud-mouthed talking won’t kill me.

When I talked to Tammy about Larry, she said Larry needs to get on with his life, cuz that’s what his son would’ve wanted. Yes, his son would want that and he is getting on with his life and will continue to, but I don’t think that’s right of Tammy to say he needs to get on with his life. Everyone’s different and everyone goes at their own individual pace. Also, like Tom said, the first year is often the hardest, cuz you have to go through the first set of holidays without the loved one you lost, their birthday, etc.