Holy shit! Both my parents are coming out on May 9th! The 10th at the latest. It’s hard to believe that I’ll be seeing my folks in just over a month. It’s so unreal. They’re both gonna drive out together, cuz they got someone to dog-sit and take care of the store. The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of them coming out together. It’s like shooting two birds with one stone and I’d like to get on with the visit and get it over with ASAP, too. My reason for this is that I really feel and believe that this is it. The final meeting. Then I’ll never see them again. I don’t know why I feel and believe this, but I do. Also, if by a miracle, Tom keeps his promise and then by another miracle, God lets us have a kid, our visit would be done and over with by the time we found out there was a kid on the way. I know the truth, though, and what will really happen, cuz real life is real life and fate is fate. I know I’m gonna get a period at the beginning of May and the good thing about that is, is that when they get here, it’ll be a week after my period, so I won’t be sore and bloated. I’d hate to have them come out right before my period.

I was all psyched to have gotten down to 104 pounds, just to go back up to 108 pounds. I’m gonna try one last time to chuck the weight and be at around 100 when they get out here so I’ll feel and look better and so that my clothes will fit better. If I can’t, though, then I can’t, cuz I’m pretty sure God’s gone and taken that, too, so now I can’t even control what my own body weighs. I’m at the point now where I would literally have to starve myself for a few days. Then, as soon as I ate one bite, the weight would be back on.

I’m gonna be getting Tom up in about an hour and a half, but I have so much to write about now, so I’m gonna do that and get that out of the way. Or else I won’t write till Sunday or Monday, knowing me.

It’s really too soon to tell if there’s any improvement with those dogs and due to my schedule, I can’t really tell. Nonetheless, I’m still totally sure that there’ll be no change.

Tom’s mom just called back. I had left her a message. She’s psyched, too, about mom and dad coming out and will gladly go out to dinner with us as my folks insisted. I think we’ll go to Red Lobster.

I got bored one night and was looking through AOL’s member directory. I looked up the last names of people I’ve known or knew and when I checked Shelly L, I found 6 in Springfield. There were also several in other towns in MA and some in CT, as well. I sent messages to 6 in Springfield, asking if they knew a Shelly L (from the foster home). So far, 2 replied saying they didn’t know her.

It was great to see Marla, but after dealing with her kids too, for the 45 minutes they were all here it made me wonder how I could still want a child. The 9-year-old was fine. Very calm and quiet. But that 3-year-old wouldn’t sit still and its mouth was obnoxious. Tom still slept through it all, though, cuz he was exhausted. We all sat in the back room and talked and I even showed Marla my sketchbook.

Andy’s lost a lot of weight. He says that’s the lowest he’s been in 8 years. Yeah, and I’m the highest I’ve been in 8 years.

Marla and the boys came on Tuesday night and they left early this afternoon. Andy left me a message, as soon as he returned from dropping them off at the airport, saying to be glad we don’t have kids, they drove him crazy, they were always in the way and he couldn’t spend any time alone with Marla. They were also pissed off that it was cold and rainy while they were here. The weather’s been terrible. That’s for sure. It’s cold, damp and rainy. However, before a week has passed, we’ll be sweating like pigs for many months.

Later...

I’m gonna get Tom up soon. I got my period today and I’m glad I didn’t get it on the 2nd, cuz then Tom wouldn’t have been able to break his promise to me, cuz of when my appointment’s scheduled.

Mom and Dad once sent me a super long fork, and the handle is like that of an antenna. Maybe I should fold it up and take it in my pocketbook to the restaurant. Then secretly take it out, open it up, and steal their food!

Tom has to go to work at 2 AM, so he’s getting his shower out of the way now.

He typed up directions that I’m mailing my folks on how to get from the freeway to the motel they’ll be staying at and also to the house.