Wednesday, April 16, 1997

Well, the problem with the misdelivered mail should be resolved for once and for all. Now if there was only a way to resolve those damn dogs for once and for all, but I know better! God wouldn’t allow that. There is something I could do about it, but the problem with that is that I couldn’t remain anonymous and Tom would probably make me feel guilty for it forever and it’d just be him and them against me and vice versa. The reason why Tom’s afraid to complain against someone is cuz he fears they’ll complain in return. Maybe. But the dog situation would be worth it. Besides, what could they complain about us for? Our weeds? Big fucking deal. It’s just that for some reason, Tom sees neighbors as about as high and mighty as most see God.

Anyway, I called a new 800# and a nice girl took my complaint and gave me a case number, in case the situation doesn’t change. They swear confidentiality and I explained to her that 1-5 times a month, we’re getting mail that belongs to N. 21 Dr. Not to mention that we’ve gotten other address’s mail, too. I also told her that it’s obvious that our mail is going elsewhere. Yesterday we got another piece of mail to that same address that the card was sent to from Colorado and I’m sick of this shit. I told her I called the local PO once or twice and that they said something would be done about it and it wasn’t. So, this could either make the situation much better or much worse. It all depends on how the mailman who’s gonna receive the complaint from their supervisor takes it. This time, though, he won’t know which house complained, not that I think he knew that the last time. On the other hand, I did leave him a note once. Regardless of that, though, he’ll know it’s me. People always seem to find me out and I can never seem to remain anonymous. It’s just like with that knock on the door the day the cop got his letter. Well, I wouldn’t be surprised if that wasn’t his wife. Who the hell the kid was, though, beats me.

The girl said that if the situation didn’t improve, I can call Internal Affairs which is higher than the PO. So, if this guy doesn’t take well to the complaint, figures or knows it’s me, doesn’t improve, or even gets worse with his reading skills, I will have him fired.

Also, Tom did the coolest thing with my screensavers and wallpapers! I mean, it is neato! Better than I expected. See, I thought he was gonna make it so that each time I enter my world, there was a random wallpaper that never changes again till I leave my world. Well, he did do this, but guess what else? I thought the screen saver would be the same randomly chosen one each time it activated itself, but it’s not. In other words, all day today I’ll have the same wallpaper unless Tom needs to go into his world when he comes home, then I go back into my world, or when I log in tomorrow. However, each time my screen saver kicks in while I’m working today, it’ll be a different one. Sometimes you get the same one, but more often than not, it’s different.

Later...

Oh, I don’t believe this shit! I’m 110 fucking pounds and it’s been nearly a week that I’ve been on my diet and I’ve followed it properly, too. Then again, I can believe it. I went against God and tried to lose the weight he wants me to gain. Fuck dieting! Like I said, I’ll just keep gaining the weight and live with it. I can’t speak for what works for others, but for me, the only chance I’d have at losing weight would be to starve. Maybe. And that’s a big maybe. You can’t fight God and win. I want to lose weight. God says no and God’s the one that wins. I want Tom to cum 3 days in a row. Regardless of whether Tom says yes or no, God says no and God’s the one that wins. I want a baby. God says no and God’s the one that wins. There is no control whatsoever over my body or my life. This body and this life belong to him. It is not owned and operated by me and what I do with it is not up to me.

Later...

I’m kind of laughing to myself now, seeing that I said, “Fuck dieting” and then ate chocolate cakes and a hotdog and now I weigh 108 lbs. See? For the most part, whenever I’ve lost weight, it’s by not trying. Still, I know I’ll be steadily at 110 soon enough, then steadily at 112, and so forth. When and if God decides I should lose the weight, I will.

When Tom went to take care of his mother today, she sent back an article in the paper with him about handwriting analysis. It’s all about how handwriting gives your personality away.

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