Jamie’s not on restriction, thank God. Now I hope Chambers is on tomorrow. Either she or Brea ought to be. Tomaszewski’s on now.

Finishing up with when Teddy Bear was here – yes, she does like me for sure. At least it sure appears that I’m looking at the situation logically and not just assuming that she likes me simply because I like her and would be flattered if she liked me back. If she hasn’t figured out by now that I like her, then she’s incredibly stupid, with the exception of being good with numbers and foreign languages.

Teddy Bear moved the two Mexicans downstairs with Myra and Peaches. I guess Laticia’s got a bad leg like I initially figured.

For the second time, Teddy Bear surprised me by guessing correctly how many days I have left.

I still don’t know who Teddy Bear’s with, either, so she may have to be discreet about our visits. If she were with a guy, she probably wouldn’t have to be secretive about it because guys tend not to mind when it’s another woman. That’s the one and only area where Tom’s like your “typical male.” She might be glad I’m with Tom so she doesn’t have to worry about any strings being attached. Strings scare most people.

She’s a lot like Tom personality-wise. She’s smart, interesting, funny, and the kind you know you can trust and depend on when you need to. She’s also like Tom as far as how easy-going she is. She’s a very laid-back, passive kind of person. I’m more emotional and aggressive than she is. Even though we’ve got things in common, we’re different at the same time. I like that, though I know most people like duplicates. I like people who are different than me, for the most part. I think it balances things out better that way. I wouldn’t want to have too much in common or be too different. Of course, it depends on how we’re different. She doesn’t have to like the same music I like, but if she were into drugs, then we’d have a problem.

Palma and I would clash as a couple. We’re too alike.

I gave Teddy Bear the farewell kite I made up for her, just in case she’s not back before I leave. I don’t know if she read it before she left. She never said anything about it. It’ll be interesting to see if she mentions it the next time she works. Being as subtle yet as blunt as I could, I dropped enough hints about my liking her. I’m 99% sure she knows, though. At first, she just didn’t seem to get it no matter what I did, and I was like - yo, I’m trying to tell you I like you! Comprende? I’m usually a blunt person, but in jail, it’s sometimes best not to be that way.

She’s so hot and I want her so bad! I love to spy on her, too. Something I’m trying to be very discreet about. I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. But I love to watch her as she leaves the pod. She looks just as good from behind as she does in front. I love those strong, broad shoulders, and oh, she has the nicest buns! That ain’t no fat, sagging butt, that’s for sure! I just want to run my hands up her back, across her shoulders, back down even lower to her buns, roam around in front, kiss those lips… Don’t worry, Teddy Bear. I won’t bother to get into what I’d like you to do to me. Oh, if only she knew just what x-rated thoughts go through my mind! In fact, sometimes I have to relieve myself she gets me so horny. Yeah, that’s something you can do in jail, believe it or not. I usually do it at night when the lights are out. I’ve even done in when I wasn’t alone. When your bunkies are in bed, they can’t see you. They could in A Tower, if you’re on a bunk against the back wall and they’re on the sidewall, so you might want to wait till they’re asleep.

I don’t think I’ve written about all the dreams I’ve had with her in them yet, both wet and dry, but mostly wet. I told her about some of them, but of course, I neglected to tell her about the explicit ones (That’d really kill her!).

I’ve had lots of Teddy Bear dreams, including one where she rescued me from the sink I had climbed on and couldn’t get back down from. (I was so impressed with how easily she swooped me off and down with one arm)

In one rather wet dream, she led me down from my cell and into the computer room the juvies use, which had no windows in the dream. I was wearing nothing but my gown. I walked into the room ahead of her, she shut the door behind me, turned around to face me, then folded her arms across her chest, looking really cool with a slight smile on her face. Then she says in a tone that was a mixture of seriousness and playfulness, “Now, how can I get you to be nice to people and quit barking at everyone around here?” (I guess I had been yelling at people in one of my many tizzy fits).

I told her to sit down and we’d discuss it. After she sat on a chair I straddled her lap and sat on it, facing her. I leaned towards her and whispered in her ear, “I’ve got no undies on under my gown.”

Her eyes suddenly widened as if in shock and she goes, “Is that so, Miss S?”

Then in the middle of this juicy scene, someone’s loud-mouth woke me up.

I was fuming!

I don’t know where the hell we were in this dream, but it was somebody’s house. We were talking, walking from room to room. The last room we ended up in must’ve been a bedroom because it had a bed in it. She stepped out to go to the bathroom, and when she came back, I was sitting on the bed with one of the spaghetti straps of my very short and low-cut sundress hanging off my shoulder suggestively. I said, “I love a woman in uniform. Do you like a woman in lingerie? Are you still shy, Officer Johnson?” But before this wet dream could continue, somebody’s mouth went and dried it up. I don’t know who was yelling, but oh, it was so frustrating being woken up at that very moment! Couldn’t they have waited till I at least had an answer to my question?!

One of the funniest dreams was the one where we were in some store together and ran right smack into Palma (wouldn’t Palma get a kick out of that in real life!). We had split up for a minute and then I was calling to her, just as I rounded a corner and found her talking to Palma. Teddy Bear, who suddenly looks as guilty as a kid caught with their hand in a cookie jar says, “Here’s someone you ought to know.”

Palma looks back and forth between the two of us, sizing up the situation. I realized she realized we were a couple. Teddy Bear then got all shy and defensive, saying she just ran into me.

“No, she didn’t,” I told Palma. “We’ve been an item for ages.” Then Teddy Bear insists she never put her hands on me, and I’m like, “Don’t listen to her, Palma. She’s put her hands on me plenty and she does a damn good job of it, too.”

This is when Teddy Bear, whose face was crimson by now, yanks me by the arm and drags me out of the store, asking how I could do that while I was laughing my ass off.

I wonder - is something up there trying to tell me something about Teddy Bear by having me have all these dreams? And just how many dreams could’ve been connected to her that I didn’t realize at the time? How many weren’t just dreams, but were visions of some kind?

Anyway, I told her I was having Tom send in a few pictures. If she doesn’t get them before I leave, that’ll be OK, because she can always see them in the future. I told her I might burn her a CD, and that Tom’s a computer expert who could help her if she ever needed it.

“Excelente,” she said.

For a minute I almost considered having Tom send in the shot of me modeling for Favors, since I’m not totally nude in that shot, with my hair covering my tits, but then decided against it. The nurses would have to scoop the poor girl off the floor if I hit her with that one.

How does this woman stand it when she has to do strip searches? Lucky for her she’s not in the tents. They do strip searches there all the time. I won’t even begin to imagine what it’d be like for her to walk into a topless club!

Anyway, the pictures consist of a few of me from before and after I cut my hair, one of me handling Oreo, and the superimposed one of me floating in the pool with a giant rat on my stomach.

She asked me about some movie actor I’d never heard of before, and I told her I wasn’t into TV much and that when I did watch, I preferred mystery and horror movies. Things with haunted houses. She says I ought to see Beetlejuice because it’s funny and there’s a haunted house in it.

I asked her if she had any “dead friends,” and she said a couple, but they were stuffed.

Yuck! Stuffed dolls are a bore.

I asked her, “Since most DOs don’t like working M because they say it’s boring, why don’t you swap off till I leave?”

Smiling, she said she would if anyone wanted to. I wish she could work here every night! She sure does make the time fly when she’s here! I suppose that’d look funny, though, if she were suddenly requesting to work here a lot.

After she was commenting on how small my retainers are, saying I have a small mouth (I let her know Tom would disagree), I told her I wish my teeth were as white as hers (and Tom’s). She said, “Oh,” right as she turned to move on. I couldn’t swear to it, but I think she blushed. Not that embarrassed, uncomfortable kind of blush, but one that said she was flattered. Teddy Bear does strike me as the type, after all, who’d speak up if someone made her uncomfortable in any way.

I pulled my I’m-Linda-Ronstadt’s-daughter routine on her and she fell for it right away. In the past, I’d leave her believing it indefinitely, but I couldn’t lie to her.

I asked if she noticed the resemblance, and she said, “There’s a big resemblance. You have her hair.”

After I told her I was only kidding but agreed we looked a lot alike, even in the eyes, she said, “You do have her eyes. That’s what was always so pretty about her.”

To me, if you tell someone they look like someone you think is pretty, they’re telling you you’re pretty too, so I took this as a major compliment. It wouldn’t have fazed me if someone like Pancake Face Smith said that to me, but coming from Teddy Bear made it special.

Later I told her, “I don’t mean to embarrass or offend you, but I like your hair better longer.”

It’s grown out some in the time I’ve been here and it looks much better this way. She used to wear her hair in a ponytail, but when it got long and bushy, she started braiding it. It’s a few inches below her shoulders in back. Her hair’s thin, though, so her braid’s half the width of mine. Meanwhile, she didn’t even blush when I told her I liked it!

She said, “Oh, you like it? I’m trying to grow out the sides without sacrificing style.”

What style? She doesn’t have any style any more than I do.

It’s funny how so many bad things have their good points as well. If I’d gotten out of here sooner, that would’ve been great, but my relationship with Teddy Bear never would’ve blossomed into what it is. She talks too soft sometimes, though.

---

I do not like the DO that’s on now. Maybe that’s just because she’s ugly and I’ve never seen her before. I don’t even know her name. She has these squinty, mean, devilish-looking eyes.

I talked to Tom earlier. He says he’s doing things around the house that’ll surprise me because they’re things I don’t expect him to do.

I also got a letter from him, telling me about work and how the prairie dogs love the lettuce plants.

It was Friday the 13th when he wrote it, saying 13 is a good number for him. Why? Because it’s not for most of us? Although it did save my life one time, and it did bring Teddy Bear that night she swapped with Bunch at the last minute.

Gomez is this creepy-looking thing’s name, from what I just saw. It’s dead quiet, too. It’s like she just snuffed the life out of everyone here and everyone’s afraid to utter a sound or make a move.

I also don’t like the way she’s always at the computer, as if she’s looking to see who she can stick with me.