We went from Vasquez to Hann. Vasquez said she’ll be thinking of me on Sunday.

Even Vasquez was bitching about Baldilocks.

I finally got caught up on my sleep and slept till 11:30. Even so, I had a horrible dream last night. Totally depressing. I was being released, and after 10 hours of waiting, Tom never showed up. I asked this guy sitting at this desk to get Officer R. D. Johnson for me and he told me to pick another Officer. I said I didn’t want to pick another Officer, and he asked me why I thought she could help me. I said I didn’t know for sure if she could, but I had to try something. Then I saw her walking down a nearby hall and I ran to her. She totally acted as if she didn’t know me!

Another funny thing that happened when Teddy Bear was here was that she didn’t hold my door open and wait for me to return with my dinner tray like she usually does for everyone. So on my way back up from down in the dayroom, she asked if I could manage the door. I said, “Yeah, I think so, but if I drop this, it’s all your fault.”

She smiled and said, “Well, you better not drop it then.”

It was so funny too, how she started saying goodnight to me when she still had 3 walks left. She even asked if I wanted my light off on the second to last walk. She normally lets 3rd shift do that. On her last walk, she’s peering in the window saying her final good night, then she goes, “Are you in there?”

I said, “Yeah, I’m in here. Where else would I be?”

I should’ve told her I was abducted by aliens who dropped me off at her place.

Then she looked at the keyhole, hesitated a moment as if she were deciding whether or not to open the door, then left.

I wonder – does Teddy Bear ever fantasize about me? Has Tom been wet dreaming of me since I’ve been gone? Or just missing me?

I can’t picture Teddy Bear with someone like Palma. That doesn’t seem to be her type. I get the impression Teddy Bear doesn’t like Palma anyway.

I wrote a kite up for her for tomorrow. More guessing games in this kite, only she gets to do the guessing. I told her Misha and I were discussing the best and worst looking DOs – can she guess who I picked? The 4 worst looking ones I picked were Misery, Bunch, Arajo and Means. Of course, she and Palma are the best-looking two I picked, but she’ll never guess Palma’s one of them. She doesn’t even know I once was crushing on her.

Anyway, if I had to pick two favorites on each shift, I’d pick Espi and Chambers for 1st, Teddy Bear and Palma for 2nd, and Pérez and Temple for 3rd.

I told her that together, Misha and I decided she’s a Rebecca, a Renee or a Rachel. Hope it’s not Ronda, although that’d be much better than Rhoda or Rita, but if it is, it is. It’s just a name, after all, although I’ll probably always call her Teddy Bear unless she gets sick of that.

I also told her that although I understand she has to be professional, in a sense, and never actually came out and told me she believed in my innocence, I always got the feeling she did, and I thanked her for believing in me. It means a lot to me. Especially coming from her.

Lastly, since she knows Spanish, I wrote a few sentences in Spanish, saying how I only knew a couple of sentences in German and maybe she can teach me more someday. Then again, German is pretty ugly, so maybe not.

Misha came back from court shortly after I awoke. I was right. She’s not going home. Maybe next week. We had our hour out, talked a bit, then she hit the sack.

I chatted with most of the pod on my hour out. Mattie said goodbye to me. She leaves tonight. Myra says they could come to get me as late as 8:00–9:00 in the morning. I hope not! But I know I can’t be released before it’s light out.

I also met Sonja on my hour out. A bunch of juvies was just outside the dayroom sharpening their pencils when I asked which one was Sonja. She was sitting on the floor sharpening pencils. She’s just a little scrap of a thing.

Sonja said she was rolled out of that room because she was having trouble sleeping in there. So that’s why I haven’t heard from her.

I asked Vasquez if she could give her some batteries for me. She said, “Yeah, but I can’t let you talk to each other.” It was cool of her to pass the batteries for me.

The hot dog curse is not over, not surprisingly. Thank God I’m outa here soon!

Misha said she was with a woman a long time ago. She asked me if Tom was jealous of me liking women, but as I told her, he’s OK with it. Like a lot of guys, if it’s another woman, it’s OK. Fortunately, though, he’s not into threesomes anymore than I am. Two’s company and three’s definitely a crowd!

How would I feel if he wanted to see a woman or a man on the side, though he’s as straight as an arrow, and has never seen anyone on the side so far? As long as I was his number one and knew he was coming home to me in the end, I’d want him to do whatever made him happy.

Tate was on last night. She saw me at the door from down below and smiled up at me. When I told her my hours, she was like, “See? It goes faster when you count by hours.”

She was saying how I wouldn’t even smile at first (there was nothing to smile about), and that maybe she’ll be here Sunday so I can tell her I have no hours left. I told her Temple said she might be in that night, but we’ll see.

After Tom left yesterday, I saw Teresa out in the open-contact visitation area. I waved to her, and incredibly, she started fingerspelling to me. Not signing, but spelling. She asked if Laticia and Nancy were still there, and told me she lost my address. I told her I remembered her booking number and will write to her. All past problems between her and I are done and over with as far as I’m concerned.

Teresa and I were just finishing up our little convo when one of the sergeants came to get me. She was funny, pretending to imitate our fingerspelling. She’s cool for a sergeant.