Barajas is back! I asked if she requested to be here, and she said no, they just threw her here. She said she was shocked when 3rd shift told her I had a bunkie since most of my bunkies disappear so fast.

Just 22 more days, I told her!

Teasing me like she always does, she said, “Good, get you out of my hair!”

I also let her know I was impersonating how she says, “And you should know better!” Tiffany agreed I do it well, too.

Barajas response to that was, “Well, it’s better than me saying, hey you mother-fucker, you know the rules!”

3rd shift last night was Lumia. To me, Lumia was never special in any way, but Tiffany likes her a lot. She said Lumia’s even gone so far as to show her how to keep her door from locking with tissue over in A so she could see her girlfriend. That was before they had the light board. When a cell door is open, a red light appears in the tower.

Temple was on a couple of nights ago saying, “You watch. You’ll have a problem with her (Tiffany), you’ll bully your bunkie and she’ll be gone next time I work.”

Well, if she is, it’ll be because she wants out of Ad-Seg. Jackson told her she wouldn’t make any promises but would try to help her out of here, but we all know what a liar Jackson is. At least I do, anyway.

Anyway, I told Temple that Tiffany wants to be in A200, and she said, “Why? Does she have a lover there?”

I said, “No, but I have a crush on Officer Palma.”

She laughed, shaking her head, then walked off.

Earlier I walked up to the door and started reciting some of Tara’s lines about the stolen ovaries and all that. At first Temple looked confused, then I said, “Don’t you remember Agent Tara?”

Then she remembered and said, “Oh, yeah. At first I thought you were serious.”

Tiffany and I were laughing all night long over this! Poor Temple was like – you mean this girl’s been crazy all along and I didn’t know it?! before she realized who I was mimicking.

I tested Temple to see if she remembered my release date, and sure enough, she remembered.

I didn’t yet mention the sad news in Tom’s letter. Freddie died. That’s 4 mice that have died since I’ve been gone. Tom said he thought about getting the one that’s left a roommate, but decided to wait for me so we could gather mice from a few different stores and build our mouse community back up. Well, this will be our third attempt at breeding, but it’ll be fun buying new mice from various stores.

The wrong asshole was rolled out of here last Tuesday. Yeah, the asshole next door’s screaming back and forth with the juvi bitch. Tiffany agrees it’s rude and obnoxious. I went to bitch to Chavez about it, but I know they’ll pull this shit every day anyway. I’ll wait a day or two, then tell next door to tell this Maria chick that her pal was rolled out again. Maybe I can fool her again for a while.

I wonder if Barajas will work here again before I leave.

Last night we were teasing Jamie while she was on the phone. I was doing most of it. It was so funny because I’d get down and laugh like a hyena out under the door and blame it on the juvies.

The fucking juvi next door really irks me at times. It whines to the radio and never leaves its cell. Most people in an open pod don’t like to be cooped up in their cells, but this one’s always in its cell. And its friends always have to stop by and visit, too. This isn’t like Valleyhead where you weren’t allowed in each other’s rooms.

I was telling Tiffany about my prank phone call days and she got a kick out of it, saying she’d love to hear the tapes. If she doesn’t mind driving all the way out to our house, then sure. She’ll be here a week after I leave and I said I’d write her and give her whatever email address I’m going to have.

Tiffany told me Bryant spited her for calling her a racial slur by deleting her lower bunk slip from the computer, but of course, she couldn’t swipe it from Medical’s records.

The other day, LaBorde walked by just as I was wondering what time it was. “LaVoice? Hey, LaVoice?”

“LaBorde,” Tiffany whispered.

“LaVoice, what time is it?”

“LaBorde!” Tiffany whispered louder and seemed as horrified as she was amused.

LaVoice just gave us this shame-on-you kind of look. Hey, at least I didn’t call her LaBitch.

Haven’t seen Sharon around lately. I caught Jerry earlier and asked him to look out for my inhaler. I put in my final refill request yesterday. I’m sure it’ll take a week of getting on their asses to get it.

Mary said I look healthy.

Wrong. I look fat.

Tiffany said I have a nice, full face.

Wrong again. I have a nice, fat face.

Loud, obnoxious Chavez woke me up from a nap as she was blabbing away really loud with someone in one of the lower cells.

“What’s this with all the mail?” Chavez asked really loud as she yanked my mail out of the trap as she walked by.

What, are 3 envelopes too much for her to handle (I wrote Ida, Paula, and Helen)?

Tiffany told me she once had a bogus job for her PO taking photographs. She made her check stubs on her computer, and she had caller ID, so whenever she’d answer her other line when she’d see it was the PO, she’d answer saying the business name.