November 1990

11/2/1990 Fri. 6:05 AM

Yesterday was awful. I was so pissed at Russ. For the last five mornings, during the wee hours, it was freezing. Later, between 7:00 and 11:00, it would turn into a sauna. I woke up for two reasons: the fucking radiator in the kitchen would clank so loud you could probably hear it downtown, and I’d have major asthma attacks because of it. It would get so hot in here that my windows would be wet. I yelled on Russ’s machine, asking what it’s going to take for the heat to be evened out, and he stopped by to adjust the thermostat. If this happens continuously, I’ll make partial rent payments, and if he fights it, he’ll wish partial rent problems were the only problems he’s had with me. Otherwise, he’s a nice guy and the best landlord I’ve ever had. He doesn’t do this deliberately; he just has no brains when it comes to heating.

Today, later on, I’m definitely going to get the fuck out of this apartment. Where to, I do not know, but I’ve got to get out.

11/6/1990 Tues. 3:18 AM

I fell asleep shortly after 11 PM, after watching the Tai Babilonia story. At 1:45, I woke up for no reason at all. At least it wasn’t an asthma attack like yesterday morning and several mornings before. I feel much better now, and over the last five days, I’ve had only 4–6 cigarettes.

Soon, I’m going to try to go back to sleep so I can join Andy on his job-hunting trips—not for me, but for him, and it’ll get me out of the apartment.

I’d like to sleep with Shadow, but he keeps waking me up.

I had a great visit with Tammy and the kids, and also a great day with Brenda. Sarah’s adorable, and she has so much hair on her head. Everyone in the family was born with lots of hair.

John came over for a half-hour tonight and met Brenda and Bill.

Oh, I wish I knew my test scores! I want so badly to go to the academy. I suppose, though, I won’t be going for whatever reason, because I want it badly. Of course, that is, until I can get anything going musically.

11/11/1990 Sun. 5:22 AM

Well, I’m not going to be sleeping for a hell of a long time. I didn’t get up yesterday until 9 PM. I had woken up in the early afternoon but felt like shit, so I went back to sleep. Not too much has happened since I last wrote. I’ve done some pretty nice drawings, been pissed at Russ because he turns the heat off from 11 PM–6 AM, been a little depressed from being cooped up at home and wanting to sing, and been frustrated and scared over my bronchitis.

11/14/1990 Wed. 10:45 AM

I am waiting to have my hair trimmed at Hair Performance by Linda. My top layer is incredibly fried, and I also need my bangs trimmed.

Brenda is very sick today, so I’m going to Martha by bus, and it is incredibly freezing out!

11/29/1990 Thurs. 7:39 AM

I haven't written in a while, which I sometimes don’t. The last thing I wrote about was getting my hair trimmed. Linda trimmed my bangs and my top layer. My top layer was—and still is—pretty much fried with split ends. I have split ends everywhere. She was shocked at the weight I’ve lost and how long my hair has gotten. I hadn’t seen her in about three years. Linda hasn’t seen me at my skinniest, though, since I’ve gained eight pounds. Funny thing is, it looks like I gained double—16 pounds—of course, that’s because I’m so short. I no longer despise being short, as I’ve realized the many advantages to it as I’ve gotten older.

Andy’s here now, asleep. He came over two nights ago, too. We made some calls this time. Last night we played Crazy 8s, which we haven’t done since we were kids at the beach. We also played the piano.

I’ll write later, as I’m exhausted. For the last two months or so, I’ve been sleeping at night, but I was up all night because I slept too many hours yesterday.