Been way too busy to write, but now I can and I sure have a lot to update on. The only bad news is that I’ve been pretty tight and congested. This time of year is always rough on me. I need a round of antibiotics, but the bitch of it is that I can’t call in a prescription. I have to be seen by the doctor.

To begin updating from where I left off would be Saturday. It still hasn’t rained like they were saying it would that day so we had the tag sale that day and raked in 60. We ended up selling stuff we didn’t think we would sell. One woman came and took the couch that Scott gave me on Bell Rd. and we weren’t even planning on trying to sell that.

I met the lady who lives behind us. She and her retired husband live there.

Larry called me that day saying he had a present for me. He told me that since he’s been back in my life, he’s been filling Jenny C in on how my life’s been and she wants to resume our friendship. This is the one that I was friends with from age 9 to 22. She’s a year older than me. In fact, her birthday is on Christmas. Then, we ended up in court cuz I pranked her over the phone, but the courts never did anything. This, I know, really pissed her off.

I thought she and Larry spoke nearly every day, but Larry says they only speak once a month.

Anyway, he said he was doing this for me. I told him he didn’t have to, but thanks anyway. He suggested I send a letter with a long-distance gift certificate for $5 to make her feel more comfortable about calling me and just take it slow and see what happens. He says she doesn’t want to rehash the past any more than I do and is impressed with how my life’s been since I’ve been in contact with Larry.

The phone certificate is something I agreed to, but it’s weird. Why does she need that to make her more comfortable? If she isn’t comfortable without it, then maybe she shouldn’t call. That’s up to her. Meanwhile, I guess I am ready to accept any calls or letters from her, but I’m wary about it. The big question is why? Why not find some new impressive friend to be friends with? Why someone she swore she’d never associate with, insisted was never a true friend, and who lives 3,000 miles away? I don’t see how they’d be up to some no-good idea to gang up on me in any kind of a way, cuz they’re the type to just dump someone, not fuck them over. Plus, I know they know that’d be awfully hard to do with me so far away and that I wouldn’t stand for it if I were still living there.

I can promise this much and they know it. That is that if there are any problems or bullshit whatsoever - I’m gone. You know how I feel about friend sharing.

Only time will tell why she wants to resume this friendship. Especially with me so far away. I must admit, though, that at this point I’m doing this cuz Larry and Jenny want this. I used to be anyone’s friend just about, but now I’m not at all easily impressed by anyone so she as well as anyone else has to really prove themselves to me and give me a damn good reason for why I should be their friend.

At least they can’t hurt me in any way. All they can do is dump me or get dumped by me cuz of something one of us says. I know I’ll have to really watch what I say to Jenny since it’ll all get back to Larry no doubt. If she and Larry lived out here that wouldn’t go over well with me. Having to watch what I say, I mean, and I could never be her friend cuz we’re just too different. Jenny’s the kind that likes to party and I’m the kind that’s a homebody. She’s also pretty selfish, too. If we went to see 6 movies, for example, we’ve always got to see what she wants to see. Not be fair and split it up and see 3 she wants to see and 3 that I want to see. Larry did say that he realized everything wasn’t my fault and that he thinks it was all those drugs I was on years ago, but there are still a couple of things that bother me. I still feel that he doesn’t believe or realize that Jenny did things to me as well. Also, why is it that I have a feeling there’s a little bit of Mom in him? Meaning if I did something wrong to her, he’ll side with her whether I’m guilty or innocent and if she did something wrong to me, he’d brush it off like it was no big deal or pin it on me. Like I said, if one pits the other against me, all I have to do is dump them both. Only time will tell why she wants to be my friend. She tried being my friend two years ago, too.

Chanukah began last night and Tammy called. She asked why I got more stuff than she did and if Mom and Dad liked me better, but then why did her dog get bones while my pig got nothing?

Later...

I just talked to Tammy a little while ago and told her about the idea of Jenny being friendly with me again and she didn’t see any harm in it, either. She asked me if I saw her and Larry intimately. No, but he was with my first roommate Michelle and has admitted to having numerous affairs.

Since she can’t write too well, I helped her out a bit. I typed a letter to Larry and Sandy for her with her giving me the basic idea of what she wanted to say. She wants their relationship to be closer and to know if there’s anything that they’re upset with her about and to talk to Sandy which she hasn’t done yet. I’ll be sending her the letter to send to them cuz if I sent it, they’d see it was postmarked Phoenix.

She says they’re in for a serious blizzard and that she’s not sending them to school tomorrow. She says her dog can’t go out and piss too well cuz there’s so much snow out there. Ha, ha, ha!!!

A couple of nights ago I was talking to Chris. That’s Andy’s gay friend. He said he loved the edits and was cracking up over them. He and Michelle were mocking them and he says he wants to buy copies, so we’ll see.

Tom said he wanted sex this morning, but I guess he forgot to initiate it. No. I think I said something to turn him off as usual. He said we could do it this afternoon, but I’m getting too tired, so it’ll have to wait.

Yesterday I grouped and neatened stuff up in the back room and made major floor space clear. I know him, though, he’ll just re-trash it.

Overall, the weekend was productive, fun, and there were no problems. Since getting my period, I feel much better as usual. Back to feeling - I’d like a kid, but I can’t have one, so, fine. I wish I felt this way every day. Just think how much easier it’d make my life.

Anyway, my current feeling about Jenny is that she’s all talk and really doesn’t ever intend to call or write, but like I said, time will tell.