I just cleaned the stove and the two main computers. Next, I’ll have to do the bathroom and the microwave.

I spoke with Andy. He said he misses making prank phone calls, but wouldn’t dare call the same number twice or say anything too crazy. So, I told him that as long as he dials and lets me just listen, I wouldn’t mind listening in. I did speak a little, but we basically only spoke to each other as if it were a case of crossed lines. Maybe being bad like this will get me a kid since I didn’t have a husband when we did the bulk of our prank calls. Nah - it’s not bad enough. I’d have to deal or do drugs or kill someone.

Andy says he wants to try to go the whole month of January with no pot and that when he’s stoned it blocks him from having any premonitions. Makes sense. On January 15th, though, I’ll ask him if he senses what I do about a kid.

He also told me something else that seems rather unbelievable. Well, he’s got a 160-page journal he was gonna write a letter to Stevie in, but he wants to get her a smaller one. So, in the meantime, he’s gonna write his very first journal, he tells me. And he’s gonna let me read it, too.

Tom’s up now and I wonder if he’s over his cold. More so I wonder - did he ever really have a cold? Or is he saying so to avoid sex? Or play into my head that there’s a third source trying to help stop us from doing things? Did God have anything to do with his cold if that’s what he has to get in our way? Is he saying it to make me feel guilty about smoking? He doesn’t smoke yet he’s had 3-4 colds since we met and has less energy than I do in some ways.

Later...

Right now I am in a very good and positive feeling mood. I don’t know if this means our dreams will come true and I haven’t had any visions yet, but I do have good feelings for one or all of the following months. April, June and September.

It’s already next year in Massachusetts, Connecticut and Florida.

Dad and Mom called me and I also got to talk to Goldie and Al who were there. They also said they spoke with Boo & Max and Charlotte & Jim who are there in Florida too, of course. I asked Dad what was the occasion that made them send another package and his answer was, “Just because you’re you.”

I called Tammy and they were all falling asleep.

I forgot to mention that all her kids are really ugly which is sad. I liked the pose they were in and the way they were set up in the pictures, though.

I also called Larry who appreciated my call and I was amazed to hear that everyone else was asleep.

I made a request to Tom that he did that I really didn’t think he’d do to help me when I’m feeling hopeless. I had him write in the angel journal that he felt 100% sure we could have a family on our own, but that if I wasn’t a mother or at least pregnant by April of ‘97 we’d go to as many doctors as we needed to. I’m really glad he did this and I’ll read that over and over when I’m PMSing or whatever.

In about half an hour I’ll be watching the ball go down in Times Square, even though it’ll be taped. For now, I’ll go get the dishes done, so that and the laundry will be done and out of the way. Till next year!

My Time Has Come - 1981

My time has come.
I must say goodbye.
My bags are all packed,
and I’m ready to cry.

Chorus;
And I just wanted to let you know,
I’ll miss you all.
And I just wanted to let you know,
thanks for all your help.

Well, my friend, I know,
that even though this place helped,
it also hurt,
but now I must go

Chorus;

Well, like I said,
my time has come
I must say goodbye,
and walk out the door.

Carry Me Away - 1982

Carry me away
Carry me away

I don’t want to live in misery.
All I want in life is to be free.
Take me to where the sand meets the sea
I’m free.

Carry me away
Carry me away

I can see the road now,
I must travel on.
Moving from place to place,
never home too long.

Carry me away
Carry me away

Someday I know I’ll find it,
but it won’t be on the road.
I may not be a young girl,
but at least I’ll be happy when I’m old.

Carry me away
Carry me away

A Light in The Dark - 8/27/91

I see a light in the dark.
So trapped, so alone and so dark.
Yet there’s a light.
A light in the dark.
Wishing, wanting, hoping, while trying to remain grateful.
Grateful for my beautiful surroundings.
Grateful I’m feeling and looking well.
Grateful for the many gifts I have, yet it is still dark.

Friends will come and they will go.
I’m so cut off, please don’t go!
That one very special friend had to go.
I’m in the dark now, yet there’s a light.
A light in the dark.
I still have the same dream, and so it seems,
the vision won’t go away.
I know I should walk away.
I’m in the dark now, yet there’s a light.
A light in the dark.

I see a light in the dark.
I bide my time, one step at a time.
Some things have ended.
Will my patience be rewarded?
It’s so dark, yet there’s a light.
I see a light in the dark.
Yes, I see a light in the dark.

Eight Months of Mystery - 10/8/1994

The sun has gone down.
Time to call for a cab.
She arrives at a place,
where she must put on a face.
A face they called ‘Mystery’,
till the end of the night.

Chorus:
Eight months of Mystery, dancing away.
To the beat of the drums, she’d pay her way.
No need to hang up her dancing shoes yet,
she had to get out of debt.

Another costume, another night.
It was a fun and adventurous time.
But when it became nine months,
someone swept her off her feet.
Someone most only ever dream to meet.
Time to jump into yet another life.

Chorus:
Eight months of Mystery, dancing away.
To the strum of the guitar, she’d pay her way.
Time to hang up her dancing shoes, but only in that way.
For the memory of Mystery will always live on.

Never Forget - 4/14/1995

My best friend took a trip back to our home.
He took a picture of what we used to call home.
Hang onto this he said, remember where we came from.
No chance of me forgetting the hell from which I came.

Chorus:
It’d be something I’d never forget.
Gotta run now, I may never get the chance again.
It’d be something I’d never forget.
I’m running now as fast as I can.

Remember those cold dark winter nights.
Remember the sounds of the sirens and
the gunshot blasts all night.
Another dealer’s been taken away,
but only for today.

Repeat Chorus:

We won’t forget the food stamps, oh no.
We won’t forget the poverty and destruction.
It’s where we came from, you know.
Did you go by your old neighborhood today?

Repeat Chorus

Walk Towards the Light - 9/13/1995

In the middle of the night, the dream came to me.
All was silent in the hallways, left to right.
The unknown voice began its message.
So seemingly scary, so out of place.

Chorus:
You’ve done your time here, my dear
You must go to your proper place.
You’re free to go now and walk towards the light.
Walk through the gate and down the tunnel.
Walk towards the light.
This is what it told me.

Woke up in a sweat, tried to make sense of it all.
It wasn’t till I was at the airport that it finally made sense.
Stands tall and thin, the symbol of peace, they told me.
Unexpectedly came the big change, although something did try to tell me.

Repeat Chorus