I still can't believe Unsolved Mysteries actually called. Hopefully, that literature will come before too long. Probably even before Monday since it's coming from CA. I wish there was something else I could give her or tell her so that she could recommend it for airing, but I just don't have anything else and am certainly not gonna make up lies. I hope the stuff she sends will be enough to get a name and find out if she's dead for sure or alive.

Here's another classic example of something happening without warning cuz I didn't believe it would. I didn't have any vibe or sense I’d be coming out here, or meeting Tom, let alone marrying him and I sure as hell was caught off guard by Unsolved Mysteries calling.

Tom's mind works in mysterious ways, that's for sure. He's kind of punishing me right now by not giving me very much sex. If someone I loved requested it of me, I'd do everything in my power to do what they wanted the first time they asked me. Not after they've asked me several times and then not even at that point.

When I mentioned Tom's passing up opportunities for sex, then crying no opportunity, he said that if I don't bother him about it for two weeks, then we'll have more. Oh, that's lovely. How very sweet of him. Like this really makes me want to have more sex with him? I don't think so! Not with that attitude. If he wanted sex more often, he'd have it without his wife asking him for more and without punishing his wife. It's a real turn-off to know that this man has to really psyche himself up for sex with me and that he'd go to such lengths as to punish me for asking for more sex by denying that to me. It's a real shame too. How would he like it if he asked me to hug him more often and I didn’t? So, then he asks me a few more times and I still don't. Then, I turn around and tell him that if he doesn't ask me to hug him more often for two weeks, I'll hug him more often. What a fucking joke! Wouldn't that tell Tom that I really wasn't interested in hugging him more often and wanted to punish him for requesting that of me? All the while I was lying to him about something that meant a lot to him year after year while I got a kick out of it. How can anyone do such a thing? What the fuck goes through his mind? Doesn't he ever feel the slightest bit of guilt? Isn't he ever sorry for lying to me for at least a second?

I went to call my mother earlier, but she was busy having her taxes done.

I called Tammy too, and so far all seems to be OK there and I hope it stays that way.

I've told Andy, Kim, and Alex about Unsolved Mysteries calling me, but I haven't told Bob yet. I won't mention it to Tammy and my parents till I get the official "we're not gonna be able to air this" notice or call.

The work that Tom did to fix the back roof was a bust, unfortunately. Just when it looked like it was gonna work after he slaved away at trying to fix it. The back wall is leaking heavily and who the hell knows when and how we're gonna be able to ever fix it. Who the hell knows how much it'll cost? Could be anywhere from a couple hundred to a couple of grand to fix, so, for now, we just have to deal with it.

Later...

For a moment I was tempted to call Janet back and ask if there was anything else I might be able to do to help her recommend it for airing, but then I realized that that's not gonna help or influence it one way or another. Their minds are made up.

To tell you more of what she asked me yesterday; she asked me how come I don't remember her name if she meant so much to me. Cuz I was young, had a lousy memory back then and it's common to not realize someone's made a difference in your life for the better till after they're gone out of your life.

She also asked me to tell her about my childhood which I kept brief, yet to the point. I don't want to make this a case of my abuse as a kid when it's supposed to be about my search for someone. 

When I told her how I was rebellious and did not like the camp and got kicked out she said something like, "You really didn't like camp, huh?" and I said, "Let's just say that I was not a happy camper."

I also explained to her how Robin really made me feel cared for and understood when everyone else was so hard on me. I told her I'd love to find her so I could thank her and let her know what kind of a difference she really made in my life and that I never forgot her.

She also wanted to know all I've done to try to find her on my own and that's quite a bit, of course.