The rain has finally stopped and it's warm and sunny again. I washed the towels we used to soak up some of the leaks and aired the place out, so now that musty smell is gone. Tom says that we'll have the roof fixed in time for the monsoon season. I hope so. He took an educated guess that it'll cost between $100 - $200 to fix.

I did end up calling Janet back and her voicemail came on. I left her a message telling her that Camp Naomi was a Jewish camp. If that helps at all, good.

The mail ought to be here any minute and hopefully, that stuff Janet's sending will arrive.

My birds are cooing away out there. They just got a new bag of bird seed, so they're happy.

I also laid out for a while and am definitely gaining color little by little. I do look slightly burned but don't feel it, so that's good. At least my burn is more brownish and not such a bright pink as it always used to be.

Tom's moved onto a new step of his ongoing game with me. He talks about moving forward and millions of couples make up and have sex. However, he uses the perfect excuse to not have sex for a while. He says that after an argument, he can't just bounce right back that fast. Perfect excuse.

He also says that he realized he was making a mistake by trying to figure out his little problem. He said he thought it was a mechanical problem since he worked out everything else, but it's not. Meaning, it doesn't matter what angle we screw at. Then, I guess he hasn't worked everything out. He has this notion that if he sits back, forgets about it, and doesn't do a damn thing to cum, he just will. Right! Once again, does he really think I'm that stupid? Doesn't he know I can see right through him?

Every single fucking thing he suggests doesn't work and he knows it won't cuz he knows the real reason as to why he won't cum. What's he gonna do? Suggest a new thing every few months that he knows isn't the problem just to keep playing this fucking game?

This really isn't helping me either. I feel more and more turned off by the thought of us close cuz of knowing deep down how he really feels. I'm really fucking tired of this abnormal freak and being one myself. And I'm still so angry at God and probably always will be.

I kind of sort of told Andy this sick and weird secret. He was telling me how he doesn't like Quinn teasing him sexually and I said I knew how he felt cuz I get the same shit from Tom. He said, "Really?" So, I told him how he has such a low appetite for sex and how I feel cheated out of my prime sexual years and teased, and how it's obvious that he doesn't want a kid.

Then he said, "That's so weird. Most guys would be all over such a hot-looking thing. Usually, it's the other way around. It's not the woman chasing the guy for sex, it's the man chasing the woman for sex."

Yeah, yeah, I know. I don't need any reminding of how abnormal we are, and our sex life is. Obviously, Tom can't find me all that hot looking, now, can he?

Later...

Well, my official "fuck off" letter just arrived from Unsolved Mysteries, but they did send a list of places that might be able to help. The only question is how much do they cost?

I called and told my dad who'll tell Mom as I'd planned on once I got the official notice. I called to tell Tammy too, but she had company.

I also got a letter from Gloria's fan club saying that they're giving me another year's worth of membership for free due to the way they fucked up and delayed sending me anything for a year upon mailing in my membership application. All I've gotten is one newsletter and one picture. They say they're gonna be sending another newsletter, a catalog of their merchandise, and color photos.

I know my mother and I can just see her "oh brother" expression when Dad tells her about Unsolved as I'm sure he's doing right now. It's kind of funny when I picture it. I guess they just never know what I'll be up to next.

I got an invoice for $15 due for a cat magazine subscription. What pushy and deceptive little pricks! All I ordered was a free sample magazine and nothing more. Of course, they were too cheap to give me an NPN envelope, so I just ditched it.

Later...

Tom's home now, of course, and I told him and showed him Unsolved Mysteries letter and Gloria's. He says he'll help me find out whatever we can with some of those organizations Unsolved recommended. I'll buy that when I see it cuz he's already bailed out on me as far as checking too many things. He says he's got a new idea of where to look on the Internet, so maybe that'll help.

I was right in predicting that the 14th wouldn't be too cool of a day at Tammy's. This happened after we spoke yesterday morning. Bill's got a bad upper respiratory infection, Sarah's got pink eye, and Lisa's PMSing.

Tom's gonna be writing the last page in my paper journal. Cool. I like it when he and others do that. I wish I could have pages written all in a row by Tom, Andy, Alex, Kim, Bob and Tom, and my family members.

We very well may be getting a new TV this Sunday. Tom's friend Eldon and his wife Diane are TV fanatics and he'll give us one in exchange for Tom working on Eldon's computer.

I've got several letters that I've been too lazy to punch and throw in a binder, so I guess I'll do that tonight at some point. Tomorrow we're beginning our spring-cleaning project and I'll be starting with the music room. We're also gonna make a list of all our stuff so we know what we do and don't have.

I hope Andy comes over soon enough to get his birthday present. I also hope to check out his house sometime soon and hopefully Tom and I can both go over there together sometime when Andy's all set up.

Well, it's time for journal 109 now!!

Entry by Tom:

It's Saturday morning. It seems to be a great weekend starting. I am going to visit my parents today. I looked at the music room and think that there is not much to do in that room. I don't think any furniture needs to be moved. I would like a list of tapes and CDs. I also want the outside of the chest of drawers cleaned. I feel that doing the whole house will make it easier for me to keep my stuff in place. I feel like this is the start of a whole new part of our lives, we will be working together to make the most of what we have. I am starting a workout program today. I think I have lost enough weight and exercise is what I need now. If I stick to it I should be in good condition by the end of April. By the way, I really, really LOVE MY WIFE JODI!!