With my luck, what I did yesterday won't work at all. On the other hand, if God's in a really super great mood and happy with me, it'll work. I found a metal clip that sort of looks like a paper clip and clipped together the ends of the metal net of the basketball hoop. Now I had to stand on a chair to clip the thing, but someone of Tom's height of 5' 10" like that kid can reach it and unclip it. I can totally picture and wouldn't be surprised if that kid came, either alone or with his two pals, and unclipped it and played away somehow just knowing I was the one who clipped it, and having the intention of telling me it was never clipped to begin with if I came out and questioned it. Hopefully the boys, and anyone else who works in the house or lives there will be stupid, but people tend to be stupid when you don't want them to be and not so stupid when you want them to be.

Barely a minute after I came back inside from clipping the net, I saw a car (maybe a Bronco or a Blazer) pull up to almost under the carport. It looked like the driver was getting back into the car after stepping out of it for which could only have been a minute. It looked like it may have been a teenager, but who knows if it's the one who plays there.

Shit. Maybe someone really is being surveilled.

The carport is too dark to see if a car is there and it's too dark to see if the hoop is still clipped, but we'll just have to wait and see if I hear any ball playing. I'm tempted to tell Tom, but on the other hand, he might want to unclip it while I was unaware of it just to irk me with the kids and their ball playing. I just hope they don't come over and ask about it, but of course, I'd deny it.

Tom's off, of course, for the next two days. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't initiate sex to get me back for calling those women, but we'll see. Sometimes he surprises me.

Speaking of those women, I called their mailboxes back yesterday afternoon when I could finally get in. I told them I was sorry, but they wouldn't be able to call me cuz my mom just died and I had to fly to the state of Florida. If Tom didn't get any calls last night while I slept, then it either worked or my shortness and femininity were a turn-off.

I already feel much better since my period is tapering off. The thought of never having a kid and that my husband's telling a woman one of the worst and most cruel lies doesn't seem to hurt me as bad as it can. I like it this way. I wish I could always feel this way. Better yet, as I've said before, I wish the thought of having a kid was as repulsive as eating dog shit for the rest of my life. It'd sure make my life much easier. Also, then again, and as I've said before, God would just replace it with something else. There'd be something else I'd be dying to have that I couldn't.

No mail yesterday. Just a Bob letter with the same old shit. He said something about getting ready to go to court, then if that failed, he'd try again. What's he talking about? I thought he said his appeal got turned down. I didn't know he had a court date at all. Well, for his sake, I hope it works out.

In Kim's letter to me, she told me she sees us moving in two years and me pregnant in ‘97. God! How can she and Tammy be so stupid and naïve about Tom?!

Since this is my life and I've lived my life and this is how it'll be staying with no more significant changes, I probably won't be writing to my parents, Kim and Bob as often anymore. I mean, there's just never anything really new to say. What can a person who stays at home with no job or kid say, other than the usual? Just how I'm doing and how Tom's doing and that's pretty much it.