Yesterday I couldn't keep my eyes open as late as I wanted to so I fell asleep at 4 PM. I sensed Robin telling me I'd be able to be awake for my parent’s call at 6 PM and to go to Andy's this week (along with being able to have a kid), but I awoke at 11 PM. I was wondering then, did she lie or did I just imagine her saying that? Luckily, though, I was able to nap from 3 AM to 7:30, so I just might be able to be available for their call, but don't know for sure.

This morning, I was depressed over the usual. I asked Tom how he could look me in the eye and say he was gonna win the bet for sure just to cheer me up and get me off his back. He still insists that he's gonna win it. I told him that if he just came in my hand once, just to give me one moment of a sense of normality, I'd not dance this September and we won't have to go to the doctor in a year.

I still know nothing will change him and I've got to do what this woman did who was falsely accused of murder and sent to prison in a movie I saw last night. She said she was going crazy and since she couldn't change where she was, she changed her perception of her situation. I wish to hell I could do that. That'd make things so much easier. My perception of being a singer changed, so I sure hope I can do the same thing as far as the kid goes. I must focus on the negatives of having a kid to act as a turn-off. If I tell myself I'm turned off by the idea, I just might believe that. I just hope this doesn't take 10 years to do.

It really pisses me off when he says I don't stick to things cuz he hasn't stuck to the signing or finding Robin and countless other things. People shouldn't practice what they preach.

Earlier I told him that if I'm asleep when my parents call, to please tell them I'm asleep due to a touch of a cold and that I said that if it were important that I'd like him to wake me up. He said he'd think of something along those lines, but doesn't like to lie. He really has the balls to say that! It's OK to lie to your wife about having a kid, but not OK to tell your in-laws your wife is asleep for a different reason than she really is.

He never said a word to most of what I had to say this morning and his silence really spoke volumes, just like his actions.

A comet has been visible lately. It can even be seen where Tammy is and I'm sure my folks have seen it. All it looks like, though, is like a hazy star and I don't see what the big deal is. It's hard to believe that the thing is 9 million miles away, but it is.