Trying to shoo these birds away is like, yeah right! It makes me wonder if they’ll ever go away.

Today’s one of those days in a long time where I’m bummed again over not having a kid. I didn’t get hysterical or cry or anything like that, but that’s another thing I’ll just have to shoo away. It’s not meant to be. I can’t have it and that’s that.

Yesterday I was surprised to have gotten that Hits of 1984 CD, but it turns out that there were only two songs on it that I liked, so I taped them, then sent the CD back today.

I also got 3 free romance books I’d sent for. I hate romance books and the only reason I sent for them is to get the picture frame they sent with it. I gave the books to Ma, along with 4 out of the 6 books she gave me to borrow that I didn’t like, so she could give the romance books to Mary.

The picture frame holds two pictures. Small ones, so I had to cut them to trim them to fit in. I put one in of us, and one of Andy holding his cat back in MA.

Later...

Damnit! There’s a freeloader next door! If he came blasting in, then I didn’t know it, cuz he’d have had to have done it while I was listening to music. I hope he’s not gonna be here till Sunday. I mean, it’s gonna take many visits without him blasting off for me to get over the stress of seeing that car. Oh, I hate that asshole! Go away. Just go away! If he starts up, I swear I’ll kill him!

Later...

Well, it’s still over there next door. And my guess is that if it’s still over there by 9:00 or 10:00, it’s gonna be here for the weekend. I’ll do a freeloader check later and see.

Anyway, Andy and I talked for an hour yesterday and of course, he’s left me messages every day.

His days off used to be Wednesday and Thursday for the longest time, but now he’s off on Tuesday and Wednesday. He’s been happy, though. And that’s great, cuz for a while there, he was pretty bummed.

A couple of nights ago, he went to a bar and narrowed it down to the 5 cutest guys. That’s way more than I could ever narrow it down to. Especially when it comes to gay women. I’d be lucky to narrow it down to one person every 6 months. There are more gay guys that he finds attractive, whereas for me, there are hardly any gay women that I’d be attracted to. That’s cuz gay guys come in such a variety of looks. From femmy to manly. Gay women, however, all look the same. Once you’ve seen one, you’ve seen 98% of them.

So, he was about to approach the cutest one, when the cutest one approached him. The guy, it turns out had AIDS (and actually admitted it, too!). The guy told Andy that he’d be perfect for his husband. I think this guy’s name is Jeff and the husband’s name is Steve. Anyway, since Jeff’s gonna die, he wants to find someone for Steve and someone to move in with them, clean their house and service them, while they support him and give him $200 a week of spending money. Andy said that this used to be a fantasy of his and still could be, but we both know they’re full of shit.

Meanwhile, he’s still gonna go meet the husband to see what he looks like. Like me, he has to be attracted to anyone he has sex or a relationship with.

He also had an enjoyable 4-hour talk (4 hours, good God!) with a guy named Stan whom he stumbled across on the meeting line and is gonna be meeting with him, too.

I wouldn’t say this to him, cuz I don’t want to bring him down and sadden him, cuz he’s had enough of that, but it just seems obvious that his Mr. Right is no more meant to be than a kid is for us. Although, he stands a hell of a lot more chance at a Mr. Right than we do of a kid.