Somehow, I’m not surprised, but Andy never came over. I hope today he’ll be out looking for a job even if it’s the same old thing that he’ll only have for a week. Right now, he’s not even trying. Not one ounce of effort has he put into it as far as I know.

At 8:00 last night, I heard the bitch talking to someone whose voice I couldn’t hear for about 5 minutes. Again, as loud as the bitch talks, I couldn’t make out a word.

Then a half-hour later it rained big time! Lots of rain came down, but not much in the way of thunder and lightning.

I was really pissed at God yesterday for letting poor Tom be run through the mill for nothing. According to the car dealer, there’s nothing wrong with the car. So he had to end up staying up for about 34 hours for nothing. And today he can’t catch up on his sleep, either cuz his mother has an appointment that he has to take her to after he gets out of work.

I may not be up tomorrow when the dentist’s office calls to remind me of my appointment, no matter who ends up calling.

After eating just one low-fat/cal TV dinner yesterday, and some grapes, peaches, popcorn, and graham crackers, I woke up almost back to 120. Like I said, 120s is as low as I can go, but if I can keep it nailed down at 120 and not rise above that - fine. I’ll settle for that if I must, but I just wish it wasn’t so hard to do! I’m starving all the time.

Later…

Ma found the box that didn’t get here! I was shocked. Apparently, Dad wrote the wrong number on it. He reversed it, I guess, and it ended up in Jacksonville, but is now on its way here.

Later…

Mama bitch’s last batch of kittens must now be able to fend for themselves, cuz she’s hanging in the yard a lot again. She’s skinny now, but I’m sure she just conceived her next batch and I’ll look forward to them being born so she’s out of the yard a lot again. I’m surprised White Paws hasn’t had a second batch yet and that the bitch’s last batch isn’t in our yard yet.

It dawned on me, though, that the bitch could’ve had the kittens at the side of the freeloader’s house since there really aren’t any other dogless yards around, and front yards and alleys are out of the question. If the freeloaders found the kittens, they probably got rid of them somehow. If they can’t have a dog, that wouldn’t necessarily mean they’d want kittens. They don’t bark.

Today Lisa’s leaving for Florida (and I guess Sarah and Becky are, too) and she won’t be back for two weeks. Please, God, look out for her! Don’t let Bill hit her. I know you love a child-smacker God, but I don’t. So please, just this once, keep this girl safe. Keep Bill’s paws to himself.

I not only feel like God’s blessed me in several ways, but I feel like he’s a thief, too. I don’t just feel like he stole my right to choose as a woman, and that he stole my figure, among other things, but I feel like he’s stolen things from me, too. His seeing to it that that fan broke makes me feel like he’s taken the fan from me. I can’t have that fan cuz he won’t let it work and I feel like that’s the same as if he reached an arm down and swiped it. Same goes for the clothes I’m giving Laura. I feel like I’m being forced, once again, out of these clothes which I loved. I want to wear my leopard cut-off jeans, but I can’t cuz God won’t let me cuz he won’t let me be thin again. It’s like he’s stolen these clothes and making me give them up against my will.

Later…

Wow. Andy did show up to use the pool after all, but he didn’t take the bag of clothes cuz he didn’t know they were for him to take. He didn’t get the messages I left till after he returned home. He said that yes, he did get chased by bees and was only here for 10 minutes. He said he could hear us talking, but not make out what we were saying. Well, I appreciate his not knocking and interrupting us.

Andy says he’s going to look for a job today. God, please let him find one and please let him keep this job for over a week!

Later…

It’s a good thing I’m not asleep now and that Tom’s a heavy sleeper, cuz tonight’s storm is even louder than last night’s. It was so nice, though, cuz until the lightning and thunder got closer, I was in the pool. I love it when it’s light enough to see any dead bugs on the water’s surface, but when I can swim without fear of bees. The water was beautiful, too.

It rained hard a couple of times and of course, I’m forced to play the game of leak and bucket. Now we’re even leaking in the music room. Tom says it’s probably come through where the AC attaches to the roof and they just didn’t seal it up very well. I knew we wouldn’t be getting a free AC without some problems attached but why is God so obsessed with sticking us with car trouble and leaks?

Tweety likes the storm. He’s out there singing to it.

OK, now I don’t know what the fuck I heard for sure, but I could’ve sworn that about an hour ago, I heard that dog bark once that they had from July to December and I did have a July dog vibe, even though it faded somewhat. A little while ago I heard an obvious, deliberate car door slam in the freeloader’s carport. If he’s back, a dog makes sense. The cock and a dog would go hand in hand, and I’ll have Tom take a look when he leaves for work. Cuz at that hour, the dog, if there is one over there, wouldn’t be in the yard. It’d be hooked to the car in the carport for me to hear.

A white car just left the freeloaders. I don’t know why it bothered to pull into the carport if it was just to drop the bitch off and why they had to slam doors 4-5 times, but with the way these people are obsessed with being heard, acknowledged, and noticed by me, you never know for sure what’s on these sick fuck’s minds. And they wish I’d accept them, too, and realize they’re just as good as whites, according to the bitch that called us a few months back preaching about that. Yeah right! They can all go fuck themselves as far as I’m concerned. A good 98% of them are fucked and you know what? I’ve learned that blacks in a house in a white, middle-class, normal, decent neighborhood are no different than blacks in a project. I wouldn’t piss on them things next door if they were on fire.

I’d say that there’s definitely not a dog next door, though, cuz by now I’d have heard a million barks if it were there. If a dog comes over there at any time, though, I’m calling housing and getting rid of it.